The Good Raised Up

A new focus, a new blog. At least for now.

2011-08-10T15:38:00.000-07:00

Dear friends and readers of The Good Raised Up,

It seems that God is asking me to engage in a new witness, and so much of my time and energy and concern has shifted to the issue of marriage equality.

The new blog I am maintaining is Equality Is Coming. Feel free to take a peek there, but don't cross this blog off your list just yet. As Way opens, I may occasionally be posting here--

I really hope Way will open for me to return to a more regular practice of writing here. I miss so many of you!

Blessings,
Liz

Racism, Quaker theology, and my own liberation

2011-06-20T09:14:00.000-07:00

Over the years, as Friends General Conference has established programs to eradicate racism among the Religious Society of Friends, I have heard the statement, "Racism hurts everyone."

I've been confused by that, since I myself am not a person of color and I didn't see how I was being hurt.

For the past two years, I've attended the annual national White Privilege Conference and that statement--Racism hurts everyone--has worked on me. But it wasn't until the intersection of two things coming together that my heart and spirit opened to that Truth.

First, a local Quaker friend of European descent pointed me to a quote by White Philadelphia Friend Arlene Kelly:

We are not a homogenous group seeking to become more diverse; we are an incomplete organization seeking to become more whole. --Friends Journal, October 2010

The second thing was that I began reflecting on Quakerism's doctrine of the Inner Light. In particular I was thinking of the concept that the more we listen together, and the more we hear from different individuals gathered in worship as to their own discernment and understanding of God's guidance, the closer we get to understanding the full Truth that God wishes for us to know.

When I disallow myself the opportunity to listen to, worship with, and befriend people who are different from me--people of color, immigrants or "new Americans," people who are poor or working class--when I disallow those connections, I am automatically cutting myself off from the Love and Truth that my brothers and sisters in the Spirit have for me and for my White middle-class, US-born peers.

The whole of the Truth cannot be understood without the Whole of people.

If I am regularly worshiping with and seeking Truth primarily with only some of God's children, then I am likely not able to know the Truth that others who are different from me hold, because I won't have access to understanding their experience of the world, of the Light.

In that case, the Truth itself is less than whole, particularly as Quakers of European descent strive to undo racism, understand the complexity of White privilege, and work for justice in the world.

As that awareness began to sink into my heart, I felt a lot of energy and space open up within me. It was as if all those spoken and unspoken cautions about watching out for "this group" or for "that group" just floated away.

While I was "being socialized without my consent"* and without my knowledge, to keep "those people" at arm's length and in a box labeled "CAUTION: Others," I didn't know that I myself was being boxed in, with messages of what I was supposed to think, what I was supposed to say, and how I was supposed to be.

When I came into the Truth that all of us are needed in order to know the Whole of God, I indeed felt freed. And I have never looked back.

Blessings,
Liz

____________
*I have looked for a source for the concept of "being socialized without our consent," which I first heard at the White Privilege Conference in 2011 (WPC12) but haven't been able to find who to attribute it to.

Plenary session of Northern Yearly Meeting 2011

2011-06-10T17:23:00.000-07:00

Over the years, I'd lost interest in going to yearly meeting sessions, largely because I was enamored instead by the discipline and approach to Meeting for Worship for Business that I had experienced at Iowa Yearly Meeting Conservative.*

This year, Way isn't open for me to attend IYMC sessions, but I would say Way was very open for me to attend Northern Yearly Meeting. The writing was on the wall--and more literally, on the flyer: the theme was "Beyond Othering...To Loving."

Over the years, NYM has had plenaries and workshops dedicated to understanding racism, oppression, and inclusion. And over those same years, there's been a lot of talking and worshiping and listening to one another, but little outward change. As Friends, we sure do know a lot of stuff, but we don't seem to act on it too often--a sentiment recently raised up by another blogger, about how we Quakers engage in a bumper-sticker or banner-at-the-meetinghouse sort of activism.

Bit by bit, I wondered if the presence of so many Friends at the recent White Privilege Conference (WPC), which was held in NYM territory, would somehow lend itself to a different sort of experience this year.

And then I was invited to be part of the plenary that would be offered at NYM, working in collaboration with three others who had also attended the WPC this year. To add to Way opening, in case I had missed the earlier cues, I had a nudge to propose a workshop, Moving Through White Guilt. For the first time in a number of years, it was pretty easy to say Yes to the plenary and Yes to going to the yearly meeting.

During a conference call just a few weeks before the session, the four of us plenary planners/facilitators realized that we didn't have a feel or idea of how to frame the whole-gathering session. We had the theme to work with, and we had the guidance that the plenary not be a panel discussion about the WPC, since "Othering" occurs in many arenas: gay/straight; middle class/working class; able-bodied/disabled, etc.

So during the conference call, unsure what to do, we simply fell into worship... and we began to articulate how we were being led.

In the end, here's how the plenary unfolded:

1. We asked Friends to enter the large room in a worshipful manner, and the room had been arranged in large concentric circles, with a long table in the middle and a big aisle that led from the table to the hallway. We also asked for two visiting Friends to hold in the Light the group, the plenary facilitators, and the process for the evening.

2. On the table were many small pieces of tape and a number of pairs of name tags. Each pair of nametags represented an element of social power or privilege that a person either had or lacked.

For example, one pair was MALE/FEMALE (for the purpose of the plenary, we intentionally used a binary for each pairing); another pair was CHRISTIAN/NON-CHRISTIAN; a third pair was WHITE/PERSON OF COLOR. The items that had social power (in the U.S.) were on one color paper; those without power were on a different color.

3. After Friends were seated--there were about 100-120 adults--we asked them to come up to the table and take ONE nametag that represented some social power or privilege that they had in their life; and ONE nametag that represented some power or privileged that they didn't have. We asked them to tape the two tags onto their shirt and sit back down, paying attention to how they felt as they attached the tags while waiting for everyone else to do the same.

4. After everyone had taken their tags and was seated, we then moved the center table out to the hall (hence the large aisle leading to the hallway!). We went over some guidelines for the evening. We were careful not to say that we wanted to create a "safe space" because we made it clear that we wanted Friends to take risks, to "lean into your discomfort, because that's usually where the learning and growth are." Then we asked people to get into pairs and talk with each other briefly about why they picked the tags that they did and what it was like to do so. After just four or five minutes, we gathered back into a large group again for the next piece.

5. The biggest chunk of time for the evening, we explained, was dedicated to having individuals acknowledge, one at a time and in front of the whole group, one of three different experiences. In the large, central empty space in the room, on the right we placed a sign on the floor that said "Experience of having privilege." In the middle we placed "Experience of having less privilege." And on the left was "A request or something learned." We explained that, as in worship sharing, one Friend at a time would speak for a short time and then we'd return to silence before another person was to speak.

In addition, as Friends were ready, when someone wanted to share, she or he would come to the place on the floor (if able) that represented the "position" from which she or he was speaking: If it was to admit a time when she or he misused social power, the person would stand at the right. If it was to acknowledge a time when something was hurtful as a result of being in a place of less or no privilege, the person would stand in the center. And if it was to share something that was learned from either having privilege or from not having privilege; or it if was to make a specific, concrete request, the person would stand on the left: "As a person with a disability, ask me if I want help before you jump to help me..."

And we gave one last bit of guidance: We weren't asking people to share their most horrific moment, or their most shameful experience. After all, this wasn't intended to be a group therapy session or a cathartic experience. So we asked people to find an experience or memory that had a bit of a zing to it, a bit of energy attached to it, so that it wouldn't be an empty experience for them but neither would they be overwhelmed once they started to speak.

Then we waited.

The sharing was deep and rich, insightful and pained. Friends were attentive and moved. Some cried as the person in the central space shared an experience through tears.

It was powerful. And the Living Presence was with us.

6. As we had planned the evening, we had considered how to move from one part of the plenary to the next, especially how to close this particular piece, not knowing how tender the group might be. We had agreed that at each transition, we would insert a song that would be familiar to most Friends there. After all, NYM is the yearly meeting that is known for its fellowship-through-singing group, Nightingales.

Earlier in the plenary we had sung a verse from "Holy Ground," and two verses from "We Are A Gentle Loving People" (We are whole and we are broken...). At this point, we sang "Peace I Ask of Thee O River." It was so sweet, so perfect...

7. We quietly explained that before we'd move into closing worship, we wanted folks to get together with one other person and take a few minutes to talk about the experience: what was surprising, what was new; and to consider how what was shared that night might apply to either the person's own worship community or to the yearly meeting as a whole.

WoW, the room became all abuzz and it was hard to bring us back together! But we had another song in mind to do just that, and it took about three or four times to sing through "Woyaya" before we were ready to join in worship for the last 20-30 minutes.

The whole evening was such a gift... The worship was rich and built on themes and experiences that resonated for many that night.

When we four debriefed with the two Friends who had been holding the space, we each acknowledged how well-used we felt; how we never could have come up with this plenary if we had actually tried to plan it; how open we were to being led and how trusted we each felt as the different pieces emerged and fell into place.

During the four-hour drive home, I found myself wondering if I'd be back in 2012. After all, I'm curious to see if there is any fruit of the Spirit that may have been seeded as a result of that two-hour session.

Blessings,
Liz

*I've written quite a bit about my experiences at IYMC annual sessions. This link takes you to every post that has the tag "IYMC."

This is what Loving-kindness looks like

2011-06-04T14:39:00.000-07:00

I acknowledge that The Good Raised Up has taken a bit of a turn lately. Recent blog posts--which are more rare than even a year ago--are less about explicit Quakerism and more about marriage equality in Minnesota* and the White Privilege Conference that was held in April.

These topics and my involvement in them are more about social change than they are about conveying our Quaker faith to one another. At the same time, my life and where I am called is still about faithfulness as a Friend and, now more than ever, about Love.

Since late May 2011, I've been keeping a list of creative ways to respond to organizations, individuals, and messages that promote stereotypes of GLBTQ people, that denigrate us and our families, that distort the truth, prey on fears, and undermine the very nature of who we are and how we love.

I keep this list because the struggle over marriage equality is coming to my state, in the form of a proposed constitutional restriction that "marriage" be reserved for only a man and a woman. Granted, the struggle is already in my yearly meeting, though in much less strident form.

So I make lists of what a public witness, a campaign, an act of civil disobedience, a movement might look like, to interrupt the perpetuation of unchecked, unquestioned straight privilege.

One theme that recurs throughout my list is this:

If we could be socialized from a very young age with a message of our choosing, what would that message be?

It probably wouldn't be a message about getting the most toys by the time we die, or about traveling the world, or even about "living happily ever after." Probably not a message that would be dependent on our station in life or on the color of our skin or on the dollars in our bank account.

If I could choose the message that I would have been socialized into, it would go something like this:

Above all else, love one another. Treat others with loving-kindness and insist that you and all others also be treated with loving-kindness. Everyone is worthy of love; each of you is capable to give love; and each of you is to do your best to give it--and give it generously--while respecting and loving yourself as well.

Nothing earth-shattering. Nothing even truly remarkable, when you think about it.

Yet I have the faith that this simple, fundamental message of unconditional love, of loving-kindness, can and ultimately will transcend the negative and subversive voices that are coming to Minnesota soon. Love is a powerful transformative force of its own, if we but choose it over and over and over again.

I have the faith that a message of love will make us want to turn toward the Light and give energy toward love rather than spend energy on refuting million-dollar ad campaigns that distort the Truth and hurt both the participants in and the targets of the campaign.

I have the faith that God loves love, that the yearning to love, to be loved, and to share in the expression of love--and to do so generously--is universal, regardless of gender, political party, age, or even legislation.

The way I see it these days, the fastest way to implement meaningful social change is to socialize everyone we meet--whether adversary or lover, for each is our sister and our brother--to reprogram all of us to "download" messages of loving-kindness and delete internalized, socialized messages of meanness, exclusion, and scarcity.

I believe God calls us, all of us, to greater love, to our greater measure of Light.

How do we reprogram ourselves, then, how are we to reboot our lifelong internal system and insert a new message, a new HTML, for us all?

We do so bit by bit, mindfully and with the intention to answer that of God in everyone, according to the Loving Principle that is innately within us. Many of us already know this...

I was heartened recently by an article I saw about a progressive political scientist Melissa Harris-Perry. In the article, she advocates that, when speaking on a number of social justice issues and to counter the rhetoric that is out there, we can do so by drawing on our own faith-based message of God's love and the overall liberation narrative of Scripture.

I like her message. It has nothing to do with sin, ex-gay therapy, or vying for scarce resources.

Indeed, if we are going to speak from a renewed center and grounding of Love and of loving-kindness, we are going to have to know what it feels like in our own body; what it sounds like to our own ear; what it smells like and what it looks like.

We must be on the lookout for it. Nurture it. Cultivate it. Teach it to our children, to our parents, to our neighbors, to strangers, to one another--for we are our own sisters and brothers, and we have been socialized over many generations to forget that universal connection.

I'll end this post with two lists: The first is about how we have been taught to disregard loving-kindness. The second is what loving-kindness looks like. We all have an opportunity to choose which one to pay attention to.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Signs of being taught to disregard loving-kindness
(In no particular order)

Invalidation of someone's personal experience or the cumulative experience of a group.
Division, separation, avoidance, alienation.
Lack of deep, meaningful connections.
Certainty of one right answer, one way to be.
Better than/less than thinking.
Increased defensiveness.
Name-calling and stereotyping.
Blame or responsibility placed on those who have less or on those who have fewer privileges.
Rigidity and long-time refusal to consider alternate possibilities.
Black and white thinking; either-or rhetoric.
A longer view of history is used to distort current issues and to undermine facts or cumulative experience.
Use of religion, history, legislation, etc. to tear down, divide, and coerce.
Exploiting doubt in order to cause harm or make others less-than.
Anger that is disproportionate to a given situation.
Guilt is evoked or exploited to tell others what to think, how to act, etc.
Limited or no direct, meaningful experience with members of the group that is or will be affected.
Behaviors and words that indicate it's okay to disparage a group in the name of "Truth."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Okay. Deep breath.

That list was hard for me to write, but it's also been empowering for me to articulate all of that and to have the veils of harmful, disconnective socialization come off of my face. Thanks to the White Privilege Conference experience in 2010 and 2011 to help me "wake up"!

And now to the brighter side of Life:

This is what loving-kindness looks like
(In no particular order)

Unity in heart and spirit.
Caring for one another.
Compassion.
Affirmation of our wholeness.
Kindness in the face of adversity and hatred.
Belief in our own and in each other's fullest potential to do better, to do right by others.
Unconditional acceptance of another's inward and outward condition in the moment.
A value of expansiveness; a growth-oriented spirit; a desire for mutual liberation.
Generosity of spirit, time, and energy.
To be in deep, meaningful relationship, even with those who are different or who disagree with us.
A lifting up of a higher, universal Truth.
Use of religion, history, legislation, etc. to build up and enrich society.
Allowing and encouraging one another to view history, experience, and even Scripture as pointing toward faith, hope, and love.
Willingness to struggle with gray areas, for out of the compassionate struggle comes new Light.
Being gentle with oneself and with others during challenging times.
Compassion for those who do the hurting and oppressing.
Solidarity with oppressed peoples and individuals.
Light, light-heartedness, unrestricted joy.
A glint in one's eye, just because.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Thanks, as always, for reading me.

Blessings,
Liz

________________
*The video to which this link connects is raw footage of the scene at the Minnesota capitol just as the final vote of the House was being taken and immediately afterward. ...Does this look like a group of people defeated? Jeanne and I were inside the House's chambers, in the balcony ("gallery") as the entire event played out. We could clearly hear the chants "Just vote No! Just vote No!" inside. In the foreground of the first few seconds of the video is a White man holding a sign that says "Same-sex couples supported our marriage. Let's return the favor." He's a Quaker, and he and his opposite-sex partner, along with about 20 other straight Quaker allies, were at the capitol nearly the entire week, shouting and singing their hearts out. Despite the outcome of the week, Love was there, and it was palpable.

Guest piece: Witnessing to nonviolence on the eve of a long struggle

2011-06-02T20:47:00.000-07:00

Friends,

Some of you know that here in Minnesota, the Republican-run legislature voted last month in May to place a question on next year's ballot that would define within the state's constitution that a marriage is only between a man and a woman.

The Human Rights Campaign is working with statewide organizations that advocate and lobby on behalf of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) community. No doubt many progressive faith communities will be involved, too.

But HRC's recruitment email included the sentence "...[We] have enough time to build the infrastructure needed to win – and that means recruiting throngs of foot soldiers to fight the amendment." [emphasis mine]

One local Friend, whom I'll simply refer to as Heather, cc'd me on her personal reply to HRC's National Field Director, Marty Rouse, whose name is attributed to the recruitment email.

Here's Heather's reply, with her permission.

Blessings,
Liz

Dear Marty,

Words can not express the gratitude I feel as a Minnesotan, knowing that HRC will help us accurately portray families headed by same-sex couples as loving, healthy, American, and deserving of the same legal protections that other families take for granted.

Your letter did however raise concern for me in one area. I can not abide the conceptualization of this as a "war." Even if "war" was declared on our families*, I do not agree to "fight." In my household, in my same-sex marriage-affirming faith community, there will be no "foot soldiers." There will be people earnestly engaged in non-violent resistance; there will be courage manifested in speaking truth to power; there will be "sweat-equity" invested in our democracy; there will be sacrifice and hard work and returning again and again to the belief that hate does not overcome hate -- only love can do that.

I ask you, on behalf of those of us who commit our lives to nonviolence, to please resist using the imagery of war to characterize the commitment I deeply believe that you and I share, to overcome the constitutional ban on gay marriage in Minnesota. We know the power of love, and I can not think of a better time to witness than this.

Sincerely,
Heather

*which it was -- I understand -- the MN Representative we have come to know through an extended family member told us, the morning of the vote, that his constituents are like "young recruits before the Civil War, hounding him with the refrain, 'Just let us fight!!'"

A testimony for marriage equality; a day in the struggle

2011-05-19T07:45:00.000-07:00

When has anyone ever voted on YOUR life?

It's after 11:00 pm on Wednesday night. Here's how I spent my day:

1. Up before 7:00 am (I usually wake around 8:00).

2. Carpool to the Minnesota capitol at 8:00 am.

3. 8:30-10:30 am, listen to Minnesota House of Representatives' Committee on House Rules: Shall the proposed constitutional amendment to define [restrict] marriage be advanced to the full House for a vote, the outcome of which, if it passes there, will be to let the people vote in 2012? Vote is 13-12 in favor. There are many tears, sobs, and shouts. One woman stands and says, "I shall not be moved. This is not my Minnesota." Bailiffs ask her to be silent and calm down. She does not. She sits on the floor and says "I shall not be moved." She is picked up and carried out of the room. More tears and sobs.

4. 10:45-11:30 am. Two GLBTQ advocacy groups tell those of us gathered what our next steps are: Call legislators in the House who are wavering. Prepare for a House vote as early as Thursday. Come to the office to make phone calls to Minnesotans.

5. 12:00-1:00 pm. Send emails and messages to friends throughout Minnesota, asking them to call legislators. Clear my schedule for Thursday.

6. 1:00-2:00 pm. Lunch break.

7. 2:00-3:45 pm More emails and calls; break up the monotony by looking at Facebook.

8. 3:45 pm Head to office for phone calling.

9. 4:30-7:00 pm Phone calls.

10. 8:00-9:15 pm. Conference call about Quaker event planning, unrelated to the amendment. None of us on the call identify as straight.

11. 8:45 pm Jeanne interrupts my call: The House has announced it will vote on the bill on Thursday; rally to begin at 10:00 am; expect the debate to go on all day. [UPDATE: Early on Thursday morning, the news goes out that the rally and House session is pushed back until the afternoon. Stop jerking our chain!]

12. 9:15-10:15 pm Call who I can to tell them about the vote.

13. 11:00 pm Write my family.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

As I got ready for bed, I felt rise up in me so many emotions. A great sadness that my life is something that someone else can vote on. A great hurt that so few of my friends--my straight allies--will cancel their plans in order to stand with us at the capitol. A great hole and deep sorrow...

...And at last I understand why women suffragists and laborers and Gandhi go on hunger strikes:

No one but myself can control my life, MY life, and I will use it or lose it as *I* choose.

Am I ready to go on a hunger strike for the sake of freedom to marry? I don't think so.

But my bones, my heart aches.

They ache for justice.

Blessings,
Liz

A busy life of service, ministry, and mourning

2011-05-08T11:21:00.000-07:00

For several weeks I have been waiting to have a bit of time to catch up on The Good Raised Up; thanks for your patience!

White Privilege Conference

In First Month 2011, I began working with Vanessa Julye of Friends General Conference to arrange for a group discount for Quakers who would attend the 12th annual White Privilege Conference. Vanessa, myself, and at least eight other Friends attended the previous year's conference, and all of us committed to work toward getting at least sixty Quakers to attend this year.

Through Facebook, personal invitations, sending flyers and Frequently Asked Questions to a number of individuals and yearly meetings, and with the help of my partner Jeanne, a few of us pulled together a group of nearly seventy Quakers from at least nine yearly meetings and were able to receive more than half off of the regular registration fee for the conference. Based on the evaluations we've received, it seems like it was energy, time, money, and human resources well spent!

Some highlights from my own experience include...

A wonderful and intense keynote by Michelle Alexander, whose remarks about mass incarceration of African Americans and the new Jim Crow paralleled what is on this video--with thanks to FGC for posting this or a similar video on their Facebook page, prior to the conference;
An engaging workshop on how to assess your community's or organization's success (or lack of success) in incorporating "best practices" toward becoming a multicultural organization [pdf];
Another workshop --which was set up to be more like a round-table--about the extent to which White people in the U.S. who are engaged in antiracism consultation work are making money off the backs of people of color. Ooh-la-la, it was inspiring to have people of color and people of European descent really labor and challenge one another, and see how we White people stayed present when called out on our privilege. A number of White consultants openly humbled themselves in order to listen deeply to the perspectives of their peers who are people of color. It's vital to see these accountability measures in place and to have models of how to engage in the tough questions. Quakers do not have a monopoly on Love being the first motion!
Having a room dedicated to the Quaker group, to allow so many of us to collapse during lunch breaks, have worship sharing when we were in need of some shared reflection time, and have a closing worship to bring it all together;
Finding out that there is already at least one Friend in InterMountain Yearly Meeting who is considering helping coordinate a similar Quaker group for WPC13 in Albuquerque in 2012!

I came away from this year's conference with a belief that there is the potential for some significant systemic change among Quakers and how we can address, collectively, racism and White privilege in order to bring about healing and reconciliation--from a place not of self-righteousness but of humility and love.

Ministry after WPC12

One of the advantages of attending the White Privilege Conference when it was just 20 minutes from my home is that I could then attend meeting for worship the morning after the conference ended.

I was exhausted and very full, and I was still playing host to an out-of-town Quaker friend who had stayed with us. If I was lucky, I'd be able to stay awake during worship, which had about 6-8 other Friends who had attended the conference.

Well, maybe God uses exhausted people sometimes to be a messenger.

I was Given one of those messages that not only made me shake in my boots but also made my voice, legs, and arms quiver... one of those messages where I was given just a fragment of what I was supposed to say, and then having said it, I was Given a bit more, and so on, for about 4-5 minutes.

The bit that I can recall went something like this:

Today as we sit here in worship, we are committing a radical act: we are praying and worshiping and listening for God together. It is indeed a radical act to be able to companion one another, in joy and in sorrow, whether we look like one another or not; whether one of us is old and the other young; one of us is light-skinned and the other is dark-skinned; one of us is wealthy and the other poor. It is a radical act to choose to companion one another, at a time when society says to be afraid of the stranger, to avoid the person you don't know, to be separate, to go it alone, to be independent. It is a radical act, instead, to choose to be a companion to someone in need, or to open ourselves and allow someone to companion us, so that we may truly be One Family...

I sat down and wept, grasping the hand of my friend sitting next to me: the Power was so fierce and truly dread-full. I was overcome...

The unexpected death of a Friend

Three days after the White Privilege Conference ended, I traveled to New Jersey for the better part of a week to help my aging parents prepare to move to the Boston area.

And shortly before I left New Jersey, I saw news online that a Friend in the meeting had died in his sleep, unexpectedly. He was leaving behind two young children, and he had already buried a daughter a few years earlier, after a boating accident.

So when I came home, one of the first things I did was attend this Friend's memorial Meeting for Worship.

The meetingroom was overflowing, with friends, coworkers, and fellow Quakers taking seats in the hall and in the meeting's library. For each Quaker in attendance, it seemed like there were at least two, if not three other friends, colleagues, or family members also.

Most of the people who spoke out of the silence weren't part of the meeting. They spoke, though, of how Steve's life was a testament of living a principled life and of how very present he was to whoever he was talking with at the time. Men spoke of how Steve's words and actions touched them; women spoke of how Steve's outbursts of singing made them laugh; and young and not-so-young people spoke of missing their Uncle Steve or of cherishing the lessons that they had learned, literally, from their schoolteacher so many years ago...

The messages that came during the worship got me to thinking that we as a meeting really didn't know Steve at all. In fact, we had opportunities to learn about the witness he was carrying out--giving up his car and encouraging Friends to take the bus to worship on First Day--and pretty much turned a deaf ear to him, with an occasional "Walk/Bus/Carpool to worship Day." I think we didn't want to be inconvenienced by what he was asking of us, or we didn't care for how he appeared to be pressuring us to live differently.

And when we stopped listening to Steve, we also stopped listening to how God was moving in his life. More importantly, we stopped listening for how God was asking to be in our lives, too.

Ministry after Steve

A few days later, it was First Day again, and I had made it to early worship, where I could settle a bit more readily into the waiting stillness.

I followed my thoughts as they wove themselves around Steve and the memorial, the things we knew about Steve and the things we didn't know that we didn't know. I wondered who else in the meeting wasn't known and yet wanted to be.

And I thought about my own yearning as an eight-year-old.

I followed my thoughts some more, and remembered an epistle that Ministry & Counsel had presented to the meeting a few years ago, which included a section on how we respond to ministry that is hard to receive.

Before long, the various threads came together, and a message rose out of me. I spoke about Steve and the stories we heard during the memorial. I spoke about myself, being an eight-year-old girl who yearned to be famous, because that was the only way I knew how I could be known by those around me. Famous people are known by everyone: I wanted to be known, therefore I wanted to be famous.

I spoke about how Steve's witness to the meeting was the kind that was like a big stone that is plopped into the middle of a still pond: At first, we are upset that our tranquility is shattered by the plop and splash of that stone, and we focus our anger and upset on the dropping of the stone itself.

But if we are disciplined and grounded enough in the Spirit, we can sit back and be mindful of the ripples of that stone, as they lap at our ankles, and we can understand what messages those ripples carry for us as a community. We can forgive the disruption of the stone itself because we welcome how the witness of that stone and its ripples may be speaking to us and may be bringing us into right relationship with the Spirit.

And so Steve has left us with his stone, and I am left wondering if Steve felt Known by us in the way that his family, friends, and colleagues seemed to Know him, in That Which Is Eternal.

And even if Steve felt Known by the meeting, are there others in the meeting who yearn to be Known but don't know how to reach out?

Do we, as a meeting, make ourselves vulnerable in order to allow the ministry and witness of others to reach us and change us in the Spirit? Do we, as a meeting, practice the sort of Love that is required of us, to know one another deeply, and to open ourselves to one another?

. . . . . . . . . . . .

The days of the White Privilege Conference are over, and my parents are now settled into their new home as they enter this next stage of their life. I look ahead toward the rest of spring, toward opportunities to be of service, and toward some travel both among Friends and with family.

Thanks for reading me.

Blessings,
Liz

Revisiting my Jewish identity

2011-04-02T20:51:00.000-07:00

This past week has provided another doorway into my Jewish upbringing. Jeanne and I have been going to a few films that are part of the local Jewish Film Festival.

Oy!

It's the first time since 1986 or 1987--when I left that faith tradition--that I've been surrounded by so many Jewish people.

I was nearly overwhelmed. In the few hours I spent at the community center one evening, I began to wonder--again--how my life would have been different had I been exposed to a different kind of Judaism when I was growing up.

...Or how my life would have been different had I actually followed the kind of Judaism that my family practiced!

At the first film we went to, it was hard to stay present: the crowd that gathered could have been the same people from the New Jersey synagogue I grew up in. Most people were in their 50s, 60s, and 70s; a number of women were rather dressed up for just a movie; some were even wearing furs (!).

And the women and men were LOUD. They greeted each other loudly, they interrupted loudly, they took their seats in the theater loudly, they whispered loudly, as if every utterance of theirs had an exclamation point at its end. ("Are you saving that seat?! Are there enough seats for all of us to sit there?! I don't like sitting so close, can't we move back another few rows...?!")

That's when it hit me:

extroverts.

And as if to affirm my observation, within two minutes of my mentioning that to Jeanne, a stranger sat down and struck up a conversation with her. Amazing!

In one of the venues, at a suburban Jewish community center, there was a small art gallery off the lobby. We had about 40 minutes of wait time before the film and so I went into the gallery, giving myself some space away from the throng of the enthusiastically loud extroverts.

The exhibit was about the mystical part of Judaism known as Kabbalah. As the explanatory material in the exhibit pointed out, the Kabbalah traditionally is/was studied only by men, and only after decades of study of the Torah and of the Talmud. But for this exhibit, these art pieces were all done by women, and their expression of this deep, forbidden part of Judaism that had long been cut off from me and my Jewish sisters, moved me deeply.

A week later, reflecting on what I saw and what I read, something still stirs in my soul...

Was it a wonder that my twenty-some years of experience of Judaism was so empty, if as a child or young adult I didn't have access to the mystical part of the Living Presence that speaks to my condition?

Is it a wonder that Quakerism--a mystical faith tradition that is accessible even to children and youth--is it a wonder that Quakerism continues to speak to me, thirty years after I was exposed to its manner of worship?

Having just had that opening and wondering, I entered the theater with Jeanne--and watched a film that was focused on true events from the Holocaust.

Raw would be an apt word to describe how I felt after that experience.

Seeing La Rafle with a Jewish audience--the persecution, the horror, the hope-against-hope even though we know how it ends--definitely has a visceral power that binds the nonobservant Jew with the devout one; the cultural American Jew with the practicing Israeli Jew, the Reformed Jew with the Orthodox.

With the Jews depicted in the film, their story was our story; their pain was our pain. This I had been taught religiously while growing up, not by words but by everything but words.

It seems that in Judaism, the Holocaust is one of those topics where it's whispered about within earshot of Jewish children, making them curious about what the grown-ups are talking about and never spoken of directly until the kids are older. Then, when we do find out, we are horrified and we don't have the skills or the mentors to help us learn what to do with our pain. We turn into adults who whisper within earshot of Jewish children about the atrocities that no one ought to have lived through, and the cycle and the connection-through-pain continues.

So it was hard for me to come up out of that shared event of the film. I had a familiar but awful feeling about the experience. It took me about ten minutes of silence and of averting Jeanne's concerned gaze before I could say anything:

The thing is, growing up and learning about the Holocaust, it's all about an identity that's sustained through pain and suffering. This is what happened to so many Jewish people, even though both sides of my family had been safely in the U.S. long before World War II, and yet I was taught verbally and nonverbally to accept this as part of who I am. And if I don't connect with the suffering, if I don't stay connected with the Jewish community, than who am I?

In Sunday school, I have no memory of ever having been taught about the

joy

of being Jewish. I had no models of that until I was in graduate school when I connected with one Jewish family who had showed me a different way to be Jewish. But I wasn't surrounded or

immersed

by that sort of community and so it never took.

And now I realize and remember that Quakers were also persecuted. Yet even while they were imprisoned and starving, they apparently still experienced such joy in the Spirit. A joy that I myself have experienced directly! And I see how much modern Quakers talk about the joy that comes with being faithful! It's such a different message, a different experience...

Somehow I feel I was denied a Jewish experience that could have been mine, which I suppose is exactly what happened, even if no one set out to make it like that.

And while I was having my real-time flashbacks to my life as a Jew, I was also getting reconnected a bit with my Quaker blogging friends, and my experience of worship has been having a new quality of depth to it...

Where God is taking me I cannot know. I do seem to be drawn into the community that is available to me at the time, provided there is authenticity, mystical experience, reflection, and joy.

Thanks for reading me.

Blessings,
Liz

Quaker bloggers move to the head of the class

2011-03-24T11:54:00.000-07:00

In the past few weeks, two Quaker bloggers have been appointed to serve a couple of international Quaker institutions.

First was Barry Crossno, who is the incoming General Secretary of Friends General Conference, an organization that provides programming and services to Friends across the U.S. and Canada, and regardless of branch affiliation (though most folks in the U.S. forget about Canada and misinterpret FGC's reach). Martin Kelley has a nice write-up about Barry's earlier place in the Quaker blogosphere.

There's also Robin Mohr, recently appointed as the next Executive Secretary of the Section of the Americas for Friends World Committee on Consultation. I consider Robin to be a personal friend of mine: we've talked by phone on a number of occasions and had a chance to meet up in person a couple of times, both at three FGC Gatherings and at one or two Convergent Friends events.

(Now is as good a time as any to throw in a mention that these two Friends also have personal essays in the print collection of Quaker blog posts, Writing Cheerfully on the Web.)

So what are the possible implications of having two Friends, previously or currently active in blogging--not to mention Twitter--at the servant-leadership helm of groups such as FGC and FWCC Section of the Americas?

For me, it gives me hope that regardless of branch affiliation, form of worship, language of theology, or system of belief, Barry and Robin will invite all of us to a deeper place of mutual respect for one another's authenticity of faith.

They'll likely affirm our previous and current participation in our own Quaker worship communities, be they Friends churches or fledgling unprogrammed worship groups--and then they'll ask us to consider the Inward Teacher more fully, side by side with messages that are from Scripture and with experiences that come from the perfectly imperfect realm of human experience.

I hope Robin and Barry will continue to let us peek into their lives a bit, too, letting us know what they are struggling with; inviting perspectives from beyond their own institutional circles in order to be true to the Loving Principle that draws all of us into the family that is the Religious Society of Friends.

God is good. All the time.

Blessings,
Liz

Tom "Bigfoot" Tannehill and his ministry to me

2011-03-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

The other day I had the opportunity to reflect on a person whose life ministered to me in ways I had not understood before. I suppose the passage of time and learning about someone's death provides the right opportunity for such hindsight to be made clear.

Tom Tannehill stood about 6-foot-four, and looked like a perfect candidate for a college wrestling heavy-weight championship team. He was so huge that his nickname was Bigfoot. Back in the late 1980s, I didn't know his real name for several weeks after I met him, I think.

Tom was born Deaf, and his friendship with me as a new sign language interpreter gave me a doorway into American Sign Language that few inexperienced interpreters would have access to.

I think our friendship was cemented at the time when we met each other, at the local Deaf club, which at that time was the main hangout for Deaf people--before fast internet connections, social networking, and webcams reduced the need for face-to-face communication.

While having a nice introductory sort of conversation, Tom inserted a sexual joke--something that a number of Deaf people do as a discreet way to check the comprehension level of new interpreters.

I not only understood the joke, I also sharply replied that I didn't care for it.

I think Tom was taken aback by what I said--not only because it indicated that I had understood what he had signed but also because for the most part, non-Deaf people aren't as blunt or as "plain speaking" as Deaf people themselves. So I caught him off-guard on those two points.

I turned to leave the conversation, but Tom apologized, we changed the subject, and became friends.

During the early years of our friendship, and as my own interpreting skills in American Sign Language advanced, I learned that Tom was a cherished Boy Scout Troop leader, beloved by non-Deaf troop leaders, by non-Deaf council members, and of course by the dozens of Deaf scouts who made up nearly all of his troop over the years.

When Tom asked me to interpret at the week-long Boy Scout camp that was 45 minutes outside of Milwaukee, I agreed. A year later, and for a few other years, I helped coordinate a small cadre of other interpreters for the camp. We interpreted everything from announcements at meals to classes about astronomy--I had to figure out how to sign concepts like "solar eclipse"--and lessons held on sailboats.

Tom's joy at being a Scout as a child and a Troop Leader, mentor, and role model to other Deaf scouts was contagious. He was using his gifts; his work was bearing good fruit.

And then he made a poor, terrible, unconscious choice when a scout in his troop came into his tent one night and manipulated Tom to touch him.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

A year ago this month, news broke that the Catholic priest at St. John's School for the Deaf near Milwaukee had molested hundreds of Deaf boys during their time there as students.

Among his victims was Tom Tannehill.

I remembered that Tom told me about Father Murphy; he told me about having gone to school at St. John's--which was closed a short while before I moved to Milwaukee out of college. Deaf people in the community identified the priest by using the sign for PRIEST, followed by the hand-spelled letter M, tapped at the breastbone two or three times.

When I heard the news about the molestation, my heart went out to Tom: over the years, I had heard he had moved to Indiana somewhere; that he wasn't working with Scouts any more.

At one point, I had managed to learn that Tom was back in Milwaukee, briefly, and I made my way to where he was staying--I want to say it was with his parents at the time.

When Tom came to the door and saw I was there, we hugged each other hard. He invited me in; we sat down to catch up.

And out came his story.

He had been molested by Father Murphy at St. John's long ago. He also had loved Boy Scouts as a kid, and he had gone on to become an Eagle Scout and to live out the Boy Scout's oath in his personal life and in his life as a Troop Leader.

He never suspected his lifelong passion to be stripped away years or even decades later by the unconscious actions taken by a Boy Scout who himself had been molested. But when that scout sneaked into Tom's tent one night, Tom's unconscious found a way out, and unfortunately, Tom couldn't cope, didn't think to reach out for help.

Did Tom go on to molest other scouts...? I honestly don't know; maybe it's better that way. But I do know that someone reported him to the Boy Scout Council, that he was barred from participating in Scouts again, and that he was sentenced to jail when he was in Indiana.

His days as a scout leader, and as a member of the venerated Order of the Arrow,* were gone. And until now, so was his story, perhaps.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

My move away from Wisconsin and from the interpreting profession in the late 1990s had long muted my desire to stay in touch with all sorts of people from that part of my life. So when the story about Father Murphy's molestation made its way to the mainstream media last year, I decided it was time for me to look up my old friend again.

I did a Google search and learned that my friend Tom had died in 2007. My opportunity to reach out to him in light of the news--which included an article from Milwaukee, saying that Tom also had molested students at the school--was gone. Time was up.

Despite the news that could have tarnished my view of Tom, my love for him and my friendship with him are still teaching me. Many who didn't know Tom, and many who did, may now think of him as a monster. But Tom was a friend to me long before I knew of his actions, and Tom was also somebody's son, somebody's brother.

God's love for him--including God's love through me--isn't diminished because of his shortfalls. Maybe God's love for us, and God's love through one another, even becomes more necessary, more warranted when we fail.

These days, when I have an opportunity to respond to someone who I'd rather view as a monster or think as someone to be fearful of, I will need God's grace to remind me that we are each a Beloved Child of God, with a story that at the very least might need telling, and at the very most, might need healing.

Thanks for reading me.

Blessings,
Liz
________________

*This was long before I understood about cultural appropriation.

Epistle from a new committee in FGC

2011-03-05T10:22:00.000-08:00

In recent months and during 2010, Friends General Conference has overhauled its committee structure and trimmed its gifted staff, feeling its own economic crunch. The epistle below is from one subcommittee of the new Committee for Nurturing Ministries, and it addresses how earlier initiatives are being addressed within FGC's new structure.

In addition to the epistle, at the bottom of this post, I have included links to just a sampling of related articles. --Liz

First Month 2011

To Friends Everywhere:

After months of wondering and praying, the new Transforming Subcommittee of the Committee for Nurturing Ministries has had two opportunities to meet—once face-to-face at [FGC's] Central Committee in New Windsor, Maryland 10th Month 2010 and again just this past month by teleconference. We want to let Friends know that we are under the weight of our work and excited for what lies ahead.

When Friends General Conference (FGC) undertook reorganization of our committees last year, there was much concern from Friends that the important work of many of our committees might disappear in the transition. Friends of Color and young Friends and young adult Friends who had been so hopeful with the establishment of the Committee for Ministry on Racism* and the Youth Ministries Committee* feared that perhaps FGC was creating a way to slide out of the commitments we had made to eradicating racism in the Religious Society of Friends and to creating the radical transformation needed to make meaningful space for younger Friends in the structures of our Society.

We are clear that the same Spirit which led to the formation of these committees is alive and well among us today. We are clear that the work will go on. We wanted to take this opportunity to let you know about the work in which we are engaged currently and the road ahead as we see it at this time.

First, we have heard from some Friends that the name of our group does not speak to them. Although the name may not lift up the groups we serve, it does acknowledge the nature of the work before us. We are clear that transformation is required if we are to become a community of seekers who are led by Spirit and who reflect the richness of the tapestry of our human family. At Central Committee several years ago, some of you may have heard about the need for a paradigm shift—for change at the deepest level if we are to develop intergenerational community successfully. Some of you may have heard about the profound change in assumptions required to make our meetings hospitable for People of Color. This transformational work—work which opens us to enact our belief that the Spirit speaks through each and any of us as Spirit chooses—is the work being undertaken by the Transforming Subcommittee of the Committee for Nurture Ministries. And, it is transformational work.

We know that for our society to come to reflect the blessed diversity of God’s creation will require each of us to open ourselves to the workings of the Spirit— We know that making our meetings hospitable places for People of Color and for youth enhances the fabric of the meeting and deepens our shared faith journey and we are engaged in seeking and developing those tools which will help us each move successfully on that journey to transform ourselves and our meetings.

Let us share with you some of the specifics of the work which is under way.

”Build It”: The project to create tools for Monthly Meetings to build more meaningful intergenerational community begun by the Youth Ministries Committee in response to articulated need in our meetings is continuing under the stewardship of a working group of the Transforming Subcommittee. We expect that the tools will be available for Friends by mid-year.

Templates, workshop materials, facilitators and facilitation training: Meetings who wish to understand the history of the relationship between Friends and People of Color in this country need support; using some of the understanding which has come from how we have worked effectively with intergenerational concerns, we are continuing to support this anti-racism work and to develop other programs in addition to the Fit for Freedom Facilitators already trained to carry forward this crucial initiative.

Participation of Friends in the White Privilege Conference: The 12th annual White Privilege Conference (WPC12) will take place in Bloomington, Minnesota, April 13-16, 2011. We will offer a workshop in order to share some of our work on racism and some support for Friends who choose to attend including a major discount on your registration fee. If you are interested in participation in this Conference, see the FGC website for more information.

Opportunities for Friends of Color to gather: We are continuing to plan Gatherings of Friends of Color which are so important for mutual support and expect to hold one before the end of this calendar year.

The People of Color Center at the Gathering: We continue to support the Center which provides important opportunities for Friends of Color and their family members and allies to come together, rest, share and plan for the future.

Opportunities for young People of Color at the Gathering: We intend to build on our initial attempts last year to provide particularly welcoming space for Youth of Color at the Gathering and to explore the ways in which we may address their particular needs, a project which seems entirely suitable for this new committee with its amalgamated portfolio to serve Youth and Persons of Color.

Support for Cross-branch inter-visitation: We continue to seek ways to support those Young Adults who are so committed to this work. We are exploring and planning new ways to advance this important undertaking.

The possibility for collaboration: We continue to explore the possibilities for ways we could join with the fledgling Quaker Volunteer Services group to help “incubate” this fledgling organization for the benefit of Friends and those communities of need they would serve.

You can find out about activities which relate to our Programs: Ministry on Racism or Youth Ministry just as before by finding these programs listed on the FGC website. As we engage in ongoing service to Youth and People of Color in the Religious Society of Friends we will have opportunities for Friends and seekers to join in the work in new ways. If you are interested in participating in this transformational work, please contact us through the website.(fgcquaker.org).

With divine guidance, we will continue to engage the need to “Transform our awareness so that our corporate and individual attitudes and actions fully value and encompass the blessed diversity of our human family.” (Goal 4, Friends General Conference Statement of Purpose and Goals 2009). We envision, and will continue to work toward the blessed community—where neither age nor color are criteria on which people are judged and where seekers can find welcome and nurture to grow in the Spirit no matter their race or their age. This is the transformation FGC seeks and to which we are dedicated. We ask that you join your prayers with ours, Friends, as we continue on this journey.

Jean-Marie P. Barch, clerk, Transforming Subcommittee (Philadelphia Yearly Meeting)

Beckey Phipps, clerk, Committee for Nurturing Ministries (New England Yearly Meeting)

Vanessa Julye, Ministry Coordinator, Ministry on Racism Program (Philadelphia Yearly Meeting)

Deborah Fisch, FGC Associate Secretary for Ministries (Iowa Yearly Meeting-Conservative)

Members of the Subcommittee: Seth Barch, (Philadelphia Yearly Meeting); Janice Domanik, (Illinois Yearly Meeting); Jaya Karsemeyer, (Canadian Yearly Meeting); Katrina McQuail, (Canadian Yearly Meeting); Miyo Moriuchi, (Baltimore Yearly Meeting); Miriam Mulsow, (South Central Yearly Meeting); Alma Sanchez-Eppler (New England Yearly Meeting)

_____

*These links will likely become inactive at some point...

RELATED POSTS, WEBPAGES, etc.

An article from Friends Journal on how White Quakers might work toward ending racism
An article from Quaker Life on the extent to which our Quaker meetings and Friends churches really want racial diversity
Martin Kelley's post about what young people want from their meetings
An FGC post about building intergenerational community among Friends

Spiritual accompaniment and joy from faithfulness

2011-02-10T17:35:00.000-08:00

This is the last of a three-part series, focused on the workshop provided by Margery Post Abbott. --Liz

Accompaniment

In the afternoon of her workshop, Margery Post Abbott asked us to get into pairs and reflect together on a number of questions about spiritual accompaniment:

Where do I need accompaniment?
What is nurturing and valuable for me, even if it is difficult to hear?
What kinds of words or behaviors make me withdraw or reject accompaniment?
What makes accompanying others difficult for me? What causes me to say "I can't do this work"?

Being safe and being known

Something I thought of as we returned to the large group and shared what came up for us was that there is a tension between wanting to be safe and wanting to be known. This too is a form of taking up the Cross.

To be safe, we withdraw a bit from our community, we don't risk being vulnerable or sharing how we might be struggling with some element of Quakerism.

But by keeping silent about our inward struggle, our doubt, our spiritual loneliness, we miss opportunities for others to know us at a deeply personal level.

I'm a believer in the concept that when one of us takes a risk and shares something vulnerable, it allows others to take a similar risk, too.

Here's an example of the Cross we live into:

And

Soon after our large group sharing, we identified a few ways we provide spiritual accompaniment for one another in our meetings:

Spiritual friendships.
Care committees and clearness committees.
Care-and-accountability committees (aka anchor committees).
Having a concern actively taken up by the meeting.
Meeting for Worship for Healing.

Faithfulness, freedom, and joy

I think I am not spiritually mature enough to grasp the connection between the taking up the Cross and experiencing joy...

I do know that when I am faithful, especially when I have feared or dreaded giving up my own will in a situation, in the end, I experience a visceral or emotional sense of release. Sometimes it's coupled with relief--"Whew, glad that's over!"--but more often, the feeling is of a burden being lifted, and in turn, a freedom of spiritual movement.

I've heard that for some people, when that happens, there is a subsequent sense of being uplifted, of feeling joy.

We tossed around a few comments and reflections about joy and the Cross:

"My yoke is easy and my burden, light." This might be a call to do the hard stuff joyfully. Not for the sake of suffering or for martyrdom but because we know we are doing God's bidding and we know that God loves us.
The Cross of Love, if we can see it as this, means the transcendent power of God and joy.
Taking up the Cross means laying down one's willfulness, and in this way, we can grow closer to God.
If we open to Love, even in difficult moments, we may ultimately find joy.

In the end, in the closing moments of the day, I jotted down this query for myself:

What barriers to love, faithfulness, and humility have I put in front of myself or between me and God?

Am I willing to stand in the Cross and await God's direction...?

Thanks for reading me. The time with Marge was so very fruitful!

Blessings
Liz

RELATED POSTS:

My own reflection on Taking up the Cross
More reflections and other tidbits from Marge's workshop

Reflection on Taking up the Cross

2011-02-06T09:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I participated in a one-day workshop with Quaker author Margery Post Abbott. Much of the day focused on taking up the Cross and what that might mean for today's Quakers. Marge gave us lots of time to reflect and talk with one another about that concept, how we wrestle with it, and how early Friends used the phrase.

Early in the day we were asked to spend a few minutes journaling our thoughts in response to three questions:

1. What is your intellectual definition of "Taking up the Cross"?

2. What is your emotional response to it?

3. What blocks rise up when you hear that phrase?

Here's my response:

Taking up the Cross means choosing to be obedient to the will of God, to be willing to sacrifice at a time when we greatly and intensely don't wish to--either because of societal pressures/expectations, our own fear or dread, or even distaste for what God has put in our laps. In essence, as Eleanor Roosevelt has said, taking up the Cross means "To do the thing we think we cannot do."

Over time I have grown into the phrase. I have come to cherish it, as one does when coming across a faded photograph of a dear family member, around whom there are stories and happy lore. The phrase "take up the Cross" captures so much about the human condition of the "push-pull" of obedience, of wanting to be a faithful servant and fearing how doing just that might turn out. The phrase gives words to an inward condition that contemporary American society resists, denies, squelches, minimizes, ridicules, or demeans--yet it is an inward condition that, when acted upon faithfully, can bring healing, transformation, and new Light to an individual, group, community, or the world.

Of course, there are blocks that rise within me when I hear the phrase. My Jewish upbringing generates tremendous cognitive dissonance within me, since all references to Jesus, even as teacher or rabbi, were kept out of my early religious education. And who can hear the word "cross" or see it in print and not also see the body of this historical figure being crucified...? In addition, my own dread arises: When will God call me to take up the Cross again? what will that task or ministry or witness look like? Who will be there to accompany me?

To me, there are phrases among Friends that are remnants of a way of life, an attitude, a body of disciplines that are on the brink of disappearing. These remnants give us a way to look through the looking glass of time and piece together much of the rest of the pattern that was and is traditional Quakerism. At least, this has been my experience. These remnants inform how I might be in the world, if I am faithful to what the Spirit gives me.

There were lots of tidbits about the Cross that others shared.

Taking up the Cross involves crucifying the ego and self-will.
It is about involuntarily carrying a burden that has been placed on us.
It is the intersection where Heaven and Earth meet.
It requires surrender.
The Cross is the consequence of taking up the way of Love: Love may lead us into some horrible places, but that Love will also sustain us and lift us up.
It is an attraction that can't be ignored without having serious consequences.
Taking up the Cross is being obedient to the power of God.
It is to be bold in spirit and gentle in action.

Through the respectful and authentic, energetic sharing, we were drawn together, and the boundaries of our individual meetings and worship groups, the boundaries of our individual lives, began to melt away...

Marge is a gentle presence with a gift for inviting deep and tender conversation about complex subjects and hard questions that live within and are the fabric of our Quaker faith.

I hope to write a bit more about other themes we touched on during the workshop. In the meantime, I'll continue to digest what was shared and reflect on how my spirit has been refreshed by the conversation yesterday.

Blessings,
Liz

RELATED POSTS:

I wrote about other tidbits I gleaned from the workshop.
I also wrote about spiritual accompaniment and the joy that comes from being faithful.

Sixty or more Quakers to attend 2011 White Privilege Conference

2011-01-24T07:32:00.000-08:00

NOTE: In addition to reading about my experience at last year's conference, below, you can contact me to receive a "teaser" flyer, an FAQ sheet, and other information on how to register for the conference! Email me at lizopp AT gmail DOT com

The twelfth annual White Privilege Conference (WPC12) will be held in the Minneapolis area, April 13-16, 2011. Early indications are that as many as 60 Quakers (and presumably attenders!) may be participating, allowing Friends General Conference to work with conference organizers and local volunteers to arrange for a sizeable discount for Friends.

Regular conference rates for an individual are $315. The FGC discounted rate for Friends who go through FGC's pre-registration process, are as low as $144--because a handful of Friends and FGC staff have committed to bringing sixty or more of us there.

All of the information in the teaser and FAQs is also on FGC's website, but only as text.

By the way, there are already 15 Friends who have already pre-registered or who have indicated they are planning to attend! That's already 25% of what we are striving for, and FGC's webpage has been up only for three days!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

My 2010 Experience as a White Friend

As a Friend of European descent, I probably first heard the phrase “White privilege” in the 1990s when I was working as a sign language interpreter. One resource that was inevitably reprinted, passed out, and discussed at each diversity training that I interpreted was the essay “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack."

One night in April 2010, I sat listening to the remarks of the woman who wrote that seminal essay, Peggy McIntosh. She was no longer a byline beneath the title of a photocopied essay: She was an attender at the eleventh annual White Privilege Conference--and 11 Quakers from the United States, including my partner and me, attended that conference.

Whiteness and White privilege aren’t topics that most North American Quakers talk about easily, even though our meetinghouse benches and chairs are filled nearly entirely with White worshipers on First Days in Canada and the U.S. Maybe Friends don’t talk much about White privilege because we mistakenly equate it with White supremacy, but more likely it’s because we Quakers of European descent don’t see or pay any mind to the Whiteness that we live, breathe, and incarnate. Many of us at one point believed that when it came to racial and ethnic differences among us, being “colorblind” was a goal we were to pursue.

Those four April days in La Crosse, Wisconsin early in 2010, however, changed my understanding radically--that is, at the root--of what White privilege means, as well as its relation to meaningful social change. Where once I had been stymied by how to engage in anti-racism work, now I am finding my voice to raise questions of how unearned privilege has been keeping me, my meeting, and my family unintentionally engaged in reinforcing oppressive social, political, financial, and educational structures.

I am moving from being a well-intentioned bystander to becoming an engaged agitator of sorts.

Quakers and non-Quakers ask me why I went to the White Privilege Conference and why I plan to go again in 2011.

About two years ago, I realized that when it came to “walking the talk” about anti-racism work and working toward equality, I was “talking the talk” but not “walking the walk.” That’s about the same time when a long-time non-Quaker acquaintance started telling me that the White Privilege Conference (WPC) that she had been attending would be coming to my part of the country and that I ought to consider attending it.

A year later, I found out that a few Quakers of European descent had also attended, or had been thinking of attending the conference. Then, in the last half of 2009, as Jeanne and I were reviewing our end-of-the-year donations, we agreed to devote more of our resources--time, money, and energy--to addressing racism, equality, and social change. It was an opportunity for both of us to walk the walk, and we made plans to attend the conference.

We soon learned that the White Privilege Conference offered discounts for groups as small as five. I thought to myself, “How hard could it be to round up another three Quakers from the area?” Then I learned that two Quakers from a nearby meeting were also planning to attend; that would make four of us. I sent emails to Quaker friends around the U.S.--I realize now that I need to work on building more relationships with Canadian Friends!--about the conference.

Given that the year before, FGC’s Quaker Press had printed Fit for Freedom, Not for Friendship, and given that FGC had a standing Committee for Ministry on Racism, I asked the organization if we could identify FGC as our “group” in order to take advantage of the discount, which was okayed.

These days when I talk about being Quaker and looking at White privilege, I explain that White privilege and racism are two sides of the same coin: Racism exists because White privilege is safe-guarded by those systems and individuals who have their hands on the reins. White privilege exists because racism is institutionalized, thereby retaining as well as passing along power and control to people of European descent.

Talking about anti-racism work quickly becomes politicized, intellectualized, and somewhat removed from our immediate circumstance as White people; but learning about White privilege as a White person becomes immediate and highly personalized. It creates a healthy cognitive dissonance for many of us of European descent: What is this THING that immediately seems to relate to who I am...?

The conference transformed my approach to anti-racism work, helping me realize that there’s a harmful way to engage my privilege, and there’s also a useful way to leverage my privilege as a White, educated, wealthy person.

For well-intentioned White Friends, the White Privilege Conference can open a door into anti-racism work that is personal, interpersonal, meaningful, systemic, and transformative. Just as Peggy McIntosh’s essay helped shift the focus in the last two decades from “diversity training” to “unlearning racism,” so too in this decade, we are shifting from “unlearning racism” to “looking at and dismantling White privilege.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

If you are a Friend, or if you are a regular or frequent attender at Quaker worship, you can pre-register for the 2011 White Privilege Conference. After completing the pre-registration process, you will receive an email with more information about the FGC discount and how to apply it to the conference's own registration form.

DEADLINE: We are asking Friends to pre-register through FGC's process by March 7, 2011.

For more information, contact me at lizopp AT gmail DOT com, or Vanessa Julye at vanessaj AT fgcquaker DOT com.

And please do contact me if you want to receive the PDFs of the "teaser" and/or the FAQs.

Workshop with Margery Post Abbott

2011-01-07T07:13:00.000-08:00

To Be Broken and Tender. Sitting with Hard Questions.

Talk and Workshop with Quaker author Margery Post Abbott. Supported by Ken and Katharine Jacobsen.
February 4 & 5, 2011
Minneapolis, Minnesota

The location of this workshop is still being finalized. Registration fee will be a sliding scale. Copies of Marge's book To Be Broken and Tender, will be available for purchase.

UPDATES!

LOCATION:
Minneapols Friends Meeting
4001 York Ave South, Minneapolis, Minnesota

SLIDING FEE SCALE: If 15 participants attend, that is an average of $38/person to cover minimal expenses. Some will likely pay less; others will likely pay more.
$0 Low income; inability to pay
$20 Suggested for people on fixed income
$38 Standard registration
$40-100 To support future workshops like this

ONLINE REGISTRATION is now available!

While this workshop is primarily for Friends in the plains and upper midwest of the U.S.--Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Iowa, e.g.--others are welcome to attend.

More details forthcoming, or send me an email at lizopp AT gmail DOT com if you wish to receive registration information directly.

Friday evening, February 4: To Be Broken and Tender
7:00-9:00 pm.
Minneapolis, Minnesota. Details TBA
Good will donations to be taken at the door.

In a talk on her new book To Be Broken and Tender, Marge Abbott will share about the strong leading she experienced to speak about the way the Spirit has been at work in her life. Her understanding of Quakerism is shaped by her efforts, as a very pragmatic, inarticulate person, to find language for a mystical opening. She found words in the writings of early Friends and found that because of her friendships with evangelical Quaker women, that she had to wrestle with the Christianity that they found so dear. Her book offers a perspective on being a Friend which grows out of long efforts to articulate who we are in a way that is true to the universal nature of Love while respecting our Christian heritage.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Saturday, February 5:
One-day Workshop, To Be Broken and Tender
9:00 am-5:00 pm; bring your own lunch.
In Minneapolis, Minnesota. Sliding fee TBA.

Sitting With Hard Questions.
Is the Cross obsolete dogma, harmful unwanted baggage or a living symbol of paradox at the intersection of heaven and earth? Marge Abbott and Ken Jacobsen.

Marge writes:

...I hope to make clear that I don’t use history as an entity in itself, but engaging with early Friends offers language for experience (mine and theirs), it helps me enter into the dynamics of their experience and bring it to life, and because of its biblical nature, it has helped hugely in breaking down my blocks to interacting with evangelical Friends. At this point I call myself a very unorthodox Christian if someone pushes me on this, but am not into such labels.

Preliminary Schedule for the day

8:30 Registration and settling in

9:00 Opening Worship

SESSION I. 9:15-10:45 Hard Words.

“Taking Up the Cross” is a phrase important to early Friends. What were they trying to get at? How might we hear these words with the inner ear if our own baggage gets in the way? From these early Friends we find the thread in Christianity which seems closest to the Buddhist way of compassion and self-emptying.
SESSION II – 11:00 – 12:30 Acting from a Place of Unconditional Love.

Marge’s spiritual ancestors have been opening her to the prospect of a way of letting love take first place, trusting that we will each be given the strength to walk into whatever situation that arises as a consequence.
12:30-1:15 LUNCH (Brown bag; bring your own lunch)

1:15 – 1:30 WORSHIP

SESSION III – 1:30-3:00 Walking With Others Who are Suffering or in Pain

What a gift it is to be with people who can stand with us and listen to harsh things or to the depths of pain without flinching. And without trying to fix everything. This becomes even more impressive when they are willing to take action which addresses the root causes of what is wrong.
SESSION IV – 3:15–4:00 Freedom, Power, Mystery: The Cross of Joy.

One paradox of being a Friend is what Bill Taber named the Cross of Joy. This involves many dimensions: knowing the joy and liberation which come with taking up the Cross; experiencing the Cross as the Power of God. We will engage with how we experience the Motion of Love in our lives and in our communities.
CLOSING 4:00-closing Sharing on “Where is the life and energy among us?”

Offering our hopes as we return to our meetings.
. . . . . . . . . . .

Rachel Naomi Remen, Kitchen Table Tales (p. 171)
Joy - is the unconditional wish to live
- Aliveness more than happiness: joy is less vulnerable than happiness
- Means not with-holding ourselves because life doesn't meet our preferences
- Is lack of attachment to a particular outcome: the less attached we are to life, the more alive we become
- A willingness to accept the whole, to show up and meet whatever is there
- It is the lover drunk with the opportunity to love despite the possibility of loss
- knowing that playing is more important than winning or losing

Silence and dying

2011-01-01T21:43:00.000-08:00

Sometimes this time of year can have a quality of silence to it... The silence of a twilight, windless snowfall, or the silence of a three-generation family gathered around a table just before the golden roast turkey is delivered from the oven to it's audience.

For me, this year in particular, I've noticed the silence of The Good Raised Up.

Blogging started for me as a way to connect with other Quaker bloggers: when their blogs were active, so was mine. (Yes, even Quakers are not immune to being codependent.) I've struggled to carve out time to write--which in turn means one of at least two things:

1. I've struggled to carve out time to reflect or

2. I've struggled to find time to dedicate to Quaker things--attend events, read Quaker writings, even attend business sessions.

To be fair--and gentle on myself--my dad has had two significant medical events occur in the past four weeks. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease, and three weeks later, he had a mild heart attack.

Each of us three kids are coping with the realization that we are losing our dad. There's a certain type of silence now when we are talking among ourselves that didn't exist before. Leave it to me to ask the question that pulls us into what is weighing on our hearts or drifting in our minds.

One recent conference call among us--we are spread across the country, in Boston, Minneapolis, and southern Oregon--began with my suggesting, "How about we just take a minute and share what it's been like for each of us, what our inward and outward reactions have been in the last week or so...?"

That's when I learned that out of the three of us, though we are only two years apart and I'm not the oldest, I've had the most exposure to people who I see regularly as they face end-of-life issues: sudden illness, slow, progressive illness, emergency rooms, rehabilitation after a long hospital stay, and hospice care.

Even watching my parents cope with their own immortality, I now more fully appreciate the witness that my Quaker friends have been living out--or more aptly, dying into. Aging Friends seem more willing to accept the physical limitations that their chronological age displays in their bodies and expresses through their intellect. They give up their car keys and ask for rides. They stop trying to lift the metal chairs in the meetingroom. They use the elevator in the building instead of insisting that they are steady enough on their feet to take the stairs.

And they surrender to their mortality with grace and dignity.

They're sad when they're sad, and they let their fellow Friends into a rather intimate period of their life. Rather than putting up a strong front for the sake of appearance, they come to worship and sit in a heap if they must. They welcome Friends to come to where they live, for fellowship and worship, sometimes to sing or share a meal; other times to just be, in the silence, the Great Silence, so holy...

I find I ache for the silence my parents cannot lean into at this tender time. And I pay close attention to how I wish to live into dying, when my time comes. With divine assistance.

Blessings,
Liz

God's manna

2010-11-30T06:05:00.000-08:00

This past First Day found me in a very dark time... one of those moods where no spiritual Light could come in; where bad thoughts bred worse thoughts, and where neutral words of greeting from fFriends easily were twisted into evidence of self-worthlessness.

But as on most First Days when I'm in town, I had the opportunity to attend two Meetings for Worship. Even though something within me wanted to keep me home, I heeded the Something Deeper that told me to go and wait on the Lord in worship.

In the morning at the local monthly meeting, there were messages about joy in the midst of strife, and how to acknowledge the strife without minimizing it or becoming depressed because of it. In the afternoon at the worship group, I sank a bit further into the Seed and found myself reflecting on a number of topics:

What am I seeking right now?
If I find what I'm seeking, how will I be changed?
Remember to give up the difficulty to God so that God may see it through.
What do I need in order to be sustained?

The last question held my attention, and I thought about my ankle.

About five years ago, I started limping because of pain in my right ankle. I went to the doctor, who happened to have a background in sports medicine. All of my best medical treatment for any part of my body that was ailing me was provided by physicians who had a background in sports medicine, and this doctor didn't disappoint!

After a series of short, low-tech muscle tests in the exam room ("Hold your leg up while I push down on it, and resist me"), I was told I have very weak muscles in my hips. Either my hips weren't strong enough to keep my ankles (and presumably knees) in alignment, or vice versa. Whatever it was, after a few weeks of physical therapy and regularly doing key exercises that focused on my ankles, my hips, and my core, my limping was practically gone.

It's four or five years later, and I'm keeping up with my workout routine. Some of the exercises haven't changed, like the calf raises; other exercises have been made a bit more complicated, like crunches that are done on the large stability ball. The net result is that I've been able to maintain my improved ankle, hip, and core strength. And I've also taken more responsibility for exercising on my own, working without a trainer at least once a week.

Last Sunday, in worship, I was thinking of how working one muscle group sustains the alignment in another muscle group, sometimes a half- or whole body away. Working on my core muscles helps my hip alignment; my hip alignment helps my knees; my knees work in coordination with my ankles.

I began thinking of how working one spiritual muscle sustains the alignment in another set of spiritual muscles, seemingly disconnected. My being away from worship for nearly two weeks while I was traveling took me away from my social time with fFriends who knew something of my ongoing journey. It seemed like in turn, being away from fFriends distanced me from the ability to see how Spirit was moving among us as a group, or even among any one of us as an individual.

Not seeing or hearing stories of how the Spirit was moving left a hole in my psyche that I wasn't conscious of, as the road trip and visits among non-Quaker friends continued. By the time I returned to my home, I was feeling the darkness of dejection start to creep in, and I didn't have a plan to interrupt its intrusion.

So it came.

And in worship in the afternoon this past First Day, I was wondering what I was seeking, what I might find, and how one part of my body was supporting and sustaining the health of another part of my body. Might there be a parallel, between how one part of my spiritual life might support and sustain other parts of my spiritual life...?

Worship broke, and a Friend shared the passage from Scripture that he had been reflecting on Luke 11:9-10:

So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. (NIV)

Another Friend reflected on how she relies on God's grace to fall upon her whenever she needs it. A third Friend shared a bit of God's humor as he reconnected with the Spirit during worship.

Listening to these stories began to draw me in, to help me feel reconnected. And the commonality between my inward experience and some of the reflections of my fellow worshipers wasn't lost on me.

We were sustaining one another by sharing our experience of the Presence and of worship as a gathered body. We were able to see and hear and sense how the Spirit was working to bind us together--to one another as well as to God. Frequently, when we've taken the time to share like this out of the silence after worship, we hear similar threads in our experience. It's like we are gathering evidence that Something Happens inwardly and collectively that binds us together in our expectant waiting.

When I spoke after worship of the dark time I had been experiencing, I also acknowledged that that little bit of sharing was already bringing to me a bit of sustenance. Like God's manna, dropped by God's grace to the people traveling in the wilderness, searching for home...

Blessings,
Liz

Peter and twenty-seven dollars

2010-11-07T11:50:00.000-08:00

This particular night, not too long ago, I had plans to attend the yearly meeting's executive committee session since it's taking place in town. I wanted to provide spiritual support to the clerk, and to catch up with a few Friends who I had missed over the summer.

Yeap, those were my plans alright. But God needed me for other things that night.

When I arrived at the meetinghouse ahead of most of the committee's members, I saw Barbara, the Friend in Residence, sitting in the library with a man who I didn't know. He clearly wasn't dressed for the chilly November weather.

I introduced myself and started to hear Peter's story: lost his wife two years ago; lost his son last year to gang violence; out of work; holding onto his faith in God, even though he's been religion hopping; maybe Quakerism could be for him.

At different times, either Barbara or I would interrupt Peter to find out what he wanted or needed just then, but we also worked in tandem to provide an unspoken form of spiritual hospitality to him. At one point, I offered that we settle into a few minutes of Quaker worship--he wanted to know more about what we were like, so why not show him and include him?

Barbara and I used that worship, too, to consider Peter's very specific request: that he be given some paid work that night so he could pay to stay for a few days at something akin to a short-term, low-rent facility that also provides meals.

Peter wanted to maintain his dignity by doing paid work, and he refused any sort of handout.

"How much money would you need for where you want to stay tonight?" we asked.

Twenty-seven dollars,

"When do you have to be there?"

Eight o'clock.

It was a few minutes past seven.

We worshiped some more.

Out of the worship, Barbara identified a task that needed to be done, and here was someone willing to do it. Maybe it was a way for all of us to save face: Peter could help with the task; we could pay him for his time and labor, light as it was; the task could be crossed off of a long to-do list for care of the meetinghouse.

While Peter was working, I went to where I had left my things, including my money clip in my coat pocket. I recalled I had a few bills left over from an event I went to the night before, for which I had to pay for parking, in cash. "Maybe somehow I can ask folks who are here for Executive Committee to chip in for Peter," I thought to myself.

While still wondering about this to myself, introductions at Executive Committee were going around, and before I could grab my coat and scoot out the door, I was asked to introduce myself. "Uh... Sure," I said, and I offered my name and where I worship.

Then I jumped in a bit deeper.

"Actually, I have to leave unexpectedly. There's a gentleman in the building, his name is Peter. He's homeless and out of work. He's looking for paid work tonight so he can rent some space and have some hot meals for the next couple of days. The Friend in Residence here has found a task or two for him to help with, and I'll be giving him a few dollars for that work. Then I'm going to drive him to where he'll stay for the weekend, so please keep Peter in your prayers a little while, and I'll keep this gathered body in mine."

I took my coat into the hallway and pulled out my money clip, wondering how on earth I'd be able to go back to the room and ask for more money to help cover what Peter needed...

I pulled out the money clip, and to my surprise was not the ten-dollar bill I thought was there the night before, but a twenty. I opened that up, and inside of the twenty was a five. I opened that up, and inside the five were, of course, two singles.

Twenty-seven dollars.

I shook my head and probably turned my gaze heavenward before I went looking for Peter and Barbara. I found Barbara first and told her we were set for the twenty-seven dollars and that I could drive Peter. Barbara ended up coming along, and we dropped Peter off at the address he had given us.

Twenty minutes later, I was sitting with the yearly meeting's executive committee for their last 45 minutes of business that night.

During the closing worship, I stood. "I want to close the loop on what ended up happening with our friend Peter..." Their reaction to when I got to the part about the contents of the money clip were similar to my own: some gasps, some chuckles, some headnods.

I closed my sharing with this awareness:

"The more I give up the privilege I have,"

"the more Light I am given."

I later understood that the more privilege I give up, the more opportunities I'm given to give up even more privilege.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

EPILOGUE...?

The morning after all this happened, I woke up and found myself thinking about the story of the woman (or man) walking along the beach and throwing stranded starfish, one by one, back into the water.*

A seemingly useless task, since the beach was covered with starfish, and each subsequent high tide would leave so many more starfish stranded all over again. But when asked by a passerby what difference it makes, in the long run, to toss the starfish back to the ocean, the starfish thrower simply picks one up, tosses it into the sea, and replies, "Made a difference to that one."

But my mind was blending the starfish story with the babies-in-the-river story: So many of us are focusing on helping the down-on-their-luck individuals who we meet by giving them a dollar, a hot meal, a few extra bits of winter clothing. We seldom stop to think that maybe, in addition to that work, we should work to change the system that puts so many people--and especially people of color--"out on the street" to begin with.

In the case of the "babies in the river" story, we need to go upriver to see who is throwing the babies into the river, and intervene there, at that stage, which in turn will eliminate the need to pull out the babies downstream, since the babies won't be thrown into the river anymore.

Sometimes, tossing a starfish into the sea, or giving a man twenty-seven dollars while he is down on his luck, is enough. But more often, there is a larger system that is in play, and sometimes that system is exploiting or institutionalizing racism, xenophobia, sexism, and more.

Blessings,
Liz

*This and similar versions of this story are shortened, popularized versions of the Loren Eiseley essay Star Thrower.

Grappling with questions

2010-11-04T14:55:00.000-07:00

I've been grappling with a few questions in recent weeks:

1. How can I get a grasp of whether or not Friends believe they know "enough" about Quakerism, and how do I do that so I come across as curious rather than judgmental?

2. How can I get a grasp of the needs and "readiness" Friends have to explore Quakerism more than they maybe did through a Quakerism 101? ...and how do I do so in such a way that Friends connect with my curiosity and not with my judgment (though I do have both, y'know)?

3. How can I get a grasp of how interested Friends are in attending workshops that would be presented by a Quaker not only from out of state but also from out of the yearly meeting territory?

4. What is it, really, that the local Quaker community is ready for and interested in about Quakerism?

5. Is it really true, as one distant Quaker has told me, that it's fairly typical that most Friends don't participate in other Quaker activities in their area, that they keep close to themselves and to their meetings? If it IS true, WHY is it true (other than, "People are busy; people are tired; people are overcommitted"), and how do we work to overcome that sort of isolation-insularization?

I've drafted an online survey I'm thinking of distributing to my local community. I could send the link to you if you're interested. It doesn't feel quite right, yet, to send it out to local Friends, so if you AREN'T part of my Quaker community (as in, you don't typically worship where I worship on First Day) and want to look at it, let me know.

You can leave me a note in the comment section, or send me an email at lizopp AT gmail DOT com. Many thanks.

Blessings,
Liz

Guest piece by Marshall Massey: Why we practice corporate discernment

2010-10-23T07:28:00.000-07:00

my previous post

What I appreciate about Marshall's remarks, once again, is the interweaving he provides between Quakerism's historical figures, our faith tradition's spiritual discipline, and Biblical references that relate to and undergird our practice. --Liz

P.S. Emphasis in the text below is Marshall's. At times I have added links and an occasional paragraph break or blockquote.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Hi, Liz!

This is in response to your blog posting of October 11...

I cannot agree with Arthur Larrabee’s take on why Friends engage in corporate discernment. We don’t do it because it nurtures community. We do it, alas, simply because we are following the pattern of early Friends. And then some of us come up with rationalizations for why Friends follow that pattern, as Art Larrabee has done. But such rationalizations are simply guesses, no more.

So why did early Friends actually engage in corporate discernment? They didn’t do it to build community. They already had community, without seeking it, amongst themselves. Their reasons for engaging in corporate discernment were quite different.

Early Friends understood that God does not just address and teach individuals as individuals: God also addresses and teaches His people as a people. "Christ has come to teach his people himself," as George Fox put it. “God has given greater judgment to his church than the individual members of it,” wrote William Penn.

The Bible, indeed, gives illustrations of God instructing a group as a group, as for instance the story of Susanna (Daniel 13, which is omitted from Protestant Bibles), and also the story of the apostolic council at Jerusalem (Acts 15:1-29). The latter story provided the specific model that Friends followed in structuring their meetings for business. (Cf. Robert Barclay, The Anarchy of the Ranters, §VI.)

Early Friends actually had a fairly clear sense of the reasons why God might prefer to instruct His people as a people, rather than as individuals. It was clear that His people had to make policy decisions somehow, and it was quite clear to them that God did not want any single human being making these decisions for them all, in the fashion of the Pope or the King, because it was evident that such an autocratic approach led more or less inevitably to the corruption of the Church, and indeed had done so ever since the time of King David. Thus William Dewsbury pointed out, “There should not be a man in Israel to rule one over another, but ... the rule and authority of man should be overturned, & Christ alone rule in the hearts and spirits of his people.” Corporate decision-making removes the rule of any single man, and replaces it with the rule of Christ speaking in the hearts of all.

In one general letter, James Nayler advised Friends to “meet often together and wait upon God for his teaching ... in a cross to your own wills, for therein is the secrets of God revealed.” Corporate discernment provides better discernment in the long run, because it crucifies the wayward will of the individual — whether that individual is a leader or a follower.

“All Friends, submit yourselves one to another, in the fear of God,”wrote George Fox in one letter, and in another one he elaborated,

“let nothing be done with strife, but in love, to the glory of God, in the name of God, and in his power; so that you may all see and feel Christ among you, ordering you all to his glory with his wisdom, which is pure, peaceable, and easy to be entreated; so that none may be burdened nor oppressed in your meetings.”Corporate discernment involves practice in submission to one another — mutual servanthood, such as Christ taught at the Last Supper (John 13:3-17) — and practice, too, in dwelling together in the state of reconciliation that is Christ himself. Corporate discernment is transformative in necessary ways.

All this, however, does not mean that early Friends wanted the prophetic leadings of individuals squelched, as so often happened in Friends communities in subsequent generations, including our own. They were constantly repeating the apostle Paul’s adjuration that congregations must “quench not the spirit” where it arises. Fox said it forcefully in a letter of 1656, titled To Friends, about Christ having the best room:

“Quench not the Spirit nor despise prophecy where it moves.... You that stop it yourselves do not quench it in others.... The sighs and groans of the poor, judge not that ... lest you judge prayer. ... Every one exercise this gift and every one speak as the Spirit gives them utterance. And Friends be careful how that you do set your feet among the tender plants that is springing up out of God's earth lest you do hurt them and tread upon them and bruise them or crush them in God's vineyard.”In another letter Fox went further and advised, “Be one with the witness of God in all, and look at that....” Or in other words, Practice feeling what the witness feels, and seeing through her or his eyes. William Dewsbury wrote in a similar spirit, “Dear people of God, be tender over the least breathings of God's Spirit in one another.” Be tender. In other words, Be sensitive to what is being said.

So what is involved in this practice is something quite different from community-building. It is a particular way of connecting to God, and being changed thereby, that the rest of the world does not know. If we lose that way, and come to treat it as community-building, then we have lost an essential part of what makes us Friends.

All the best,
Marshall

The weightiness of prophetic ministry

2010-10-11T09:28:00.000-07:00

While reading an essay by Thomas Gates about covenant community and deepening the life of our meetings, I found myself deeply reflecting on two pairs of elements of our meetings that are in creative tension with each other:

the individual worshiper vis a vis the community as a whole

the community as a whole vis a vis God's leadings and instruction for us.

My reflections deepened while I was considering Tom Gates' paraphrase of something that Philadelphia Yearly Meeting Friend Arthur Larabee said.*

Here's what Tom writes:

I keep going back to Arthur Larabee's question about business meeting: "Why is it that we persist in deciding things in this way?" His answer: not because it is quick or easy or efficient (it is not), but rather because we have found that over the long run, this way of deciding builds and nurtures community. In other words, the point of our business process is not to make decisions, but to build community.

Granted, the context of the essay itself is about addressing conflict among Friends while placing conflict squarely in the wider context of covenant community. And this paraphrase of Arthur's words points to the Quaker practice of giving greater weight to the sense of the meeting rather than to the sense of an individual within the meeting.

Most of the time, I'm down with that; I unite with that.

But . . .

What happens when we "persist in deciding things in this way" to the detriment of the bringing about the kin(g)dom of God? What if we give so much weight to the role of the community and to testing the sense of the meeting that we fail to recognize prophetic ministry that has risen from among us?

What if we allow the sense of the meeting--for the noble purpose of "building and nurturing community"--to outweigh God's Divine Instruction itself?

This is a question that has been looming in my peripheral consciousness as I'm nearing the end of reading Fit for Freedom, Not for Friendship. The authors of this massive 2009 book offer example after example of how an individual Friend felt convicted by the Spirit to take action against some form of social injustice--from the earliest enslavement in the late 1600s to the modern race-based and class-based oppression of the American Quaker educational system--how these few persistent and faithful Friends labored with their monthly meetings and their yearly meetings so that they might heed God's Instruction to them...

And time and time again, the weight of the sense of the meeting--not the weight of the individual's prophetic ministry--slowed or prevented the social change that was striving to emerge.

I would say this:

1. Certainly there are times when the need to go more slowly is crucial, to bring the meeting community under the weight of a concern, with hearts and minds clear. But can we not also release the Friend with such a call to do as God bids her or him? Can a letter of introduction or a travel minute from the meeting indicate the labor that the meeting is involved in around the topic, rather than shut the Friend down and close our hearts and ears to that Friend's ministry?

balance,

2. Too often, our collective privilege gets in the way of our willingness to hear, embrace, and live into true prophetic ministry. As a U.S. faith community, Quakers are predominantly comprised of worshipers of European descent who are also mostly middle-class or wealthier/highly educated. It's hard for those of us with privilege to give up some of our privilege, yet that is what being faithful servants of the Spirit often must do.

"If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." --Matthew 19:21-24 (NIV)

3. I need the support of my community--my Quaker covenant community--to help me loosen my death-grip on my privilege; to help me see how I act, think, and speak out of a place of privilege; to help me work for the betterment of the wider community around me and not equate my service to God exclusively with the building up and nurturing of my own Quaker meeting.

Blessings,
Liz

*For those readers who don't know Arthur, he's frequently recognized as the "go-to guy" when it comes to clerking and navigating Meetings for Worship with Attention to Business. I personally believe there are other "go-to" people, but they are doing quieter, less visible work.

Dangers of today's implicit Quakerism

2010-09-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

This post is an extension of a comment I left on my previous post. My apologies for bouncing readers around...

The discussion around Martin K's low-tech outreach program--invite a newcomer to lunch--has a few of us sharing our own experience of being newcomers at one point and having received that sort of invitation to linger, to join a group for lunch on First Day, to learn more about Quakerism by way of simple gestures of fellowship.

It's easy these days for any of us as individuals to bow out of such opportunities, though, for First Day fellowship because of our responsibilities to children, to partners, to preparation for the upcoming week's grind...

But we are missing the role of the larger community--the Quaker worship community--when we consider ourselves as individuals, disconnected from the larger group:

A healthy, vibrant meeting will have a critical mass of Friends who are available to do the work that not every individual can. It's that critical mass--made up of individual Friends, but with a shared understanding of the whole--that can regularly provide outreach and opportunities to talk about Quakerism with others.

It's that same sort of critical mass that recognizes and acts upon the need for Friends to attend Quaker weddings and memorials that are taken under the care of the meeting, something I have written about previously.

When we as a community stop talking openly among ourselves about the responsibilities of membership (or of long-term attendance-ship!), then those responsibilities become implicit and invisible--which used to be okay when we would spend oodles of time with one another during the rest of the week.

It used to be okay because during our time together away from Meeting, we'd learn that Friends would be making plans to go to committee meetings, or to attend Meeting for Worship for Business, or to check in on a Friend who was going through a particularly painful time, etc etc. We saw and heard about the interweaving of Quakerism through the fabric of the lives of those around us.

But when we see each other and interact with each other only (primarily) on First Days, we lose our direct exposure to how Quakerism impacts our day-to-day lives: how we might pull out the Scriptures to remind ourselves of a story that can help us through difficulty; how we might call on one another to discern this-or-that; how we might quiet ourselves to settle into worship during a spiritually dark time so that the Light may reveal something to us that we need to know and we may submit to it, letting mercy come in...

Our isolated, individualized brand of Quakerism is likely in stark contrast to the religion of our youth--for those of us who grew up in a religious household. That "earlier religion" was probably made explicit to us in all sorts of ways, perhaps many of them as empty forms: references to certain members of the clergy; traditions, ceremonies, and meals that followed a certain calendar of holidays; prayers that were recited on specific occasions; and lessons that were taught so we'd understand the history, struggle, accomplishments, and teachings of our particular faith.

But today, the implicit nature of today's Quakerism is not one that will allow our faith tradition to be passed onto future generations, because we have confused an embodied or "implicit Quakerism" with not knowing how to talk about our faith--or not being willing to do so, out of fear that others will be turned off by our forthrightness.

An active, receptive, participatory silence is expected during our unprogrammed periods of worship. But we fail our Quaker ancestors and our Quaker tradition when we remain silent about our faith away from our meetingroom's doors.

Blessings,
Liz

Invite a visitor to lunch (a la Martin Kelley)

2010-09-26T11:56:00.000-07:00

The other day, I started catching up on some overdue Quaker blog reading, and I came across Martin's post on The Biggest Most Vibranty Most Outreachiest Program Ever. Like other readers, I chuckled as I read how EXTREME a program like his could be.

I wanted to comment, to share a bit of my own story with this sort of OUTRAGEOUS approach to outreach, except at the time, there was a message that said "Comments are closed." What better way is there to get me into a blogging mode, than to realize I can't post a comment on someone else's blog?!

(Comments appear to be open now, by the way. But this is too good of an opportunity for me to pass up.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I was exposed to Quaker worship while I was at a private college whose origins have its roots in Quakerism. A handful of students would attend worship on First Days, but if someone from the nearby Meeting invited us students to lunch, I don't recall taking the Friend up on the offer.

Years later, I would find myself among Milwaukee Friends in Wisconsin. Theirs is a warm, friendly environment, with one greeter in particular who often hugs the long-time worshipers as they arrive on First Day. (She appropriately offers a handshake if you are unknown to her!)

After worshiping a couple of years there, I attended my first FGC Gathering, where I was struck by the number of people who invited one another to go to lunch together, following the morning activities.

The first First Day immediately after I got back from the Gathering, I rose my hand during announcements and said something like, "I got so used to going to lunch with Friends while I was away, I want to ask others here to go to lunch with me after worship, if anyone's interested."

I think three or four worshipers approached me afterward... and we ended up going to lunch weekly after that, with others joining us occasionally, for at least a couple years!

Later, that practice of inviting someone to lunch morphed into my asking an older, experienced Friend to provide me with eldership--which we did, of course, over lunch each month.

Now it's even years after that: When Laughing Waters Friends Worship Group happens to have a visitor, we always have some fellowship afterward--and we have at least one Friend who has a gift for inviting visitors and newcomers into the conversation. Plus, when we have a potluck, we welcome visitors and newcomers to join us for that, even if the meal is small. When we have a planned guest or speaker, we typically have a potluck at that time, too.

But Martin in his post goes beyond the action of inviting a person to lunch. The next step involves the preparedness and the willingness to talk about Quakerism, to explain our peculiar faith tradition, to connect our activities with our beliefs and vice versa. Again, the worship group is blessed to have a few experienced Friends who can move us from introductions to answering questions about Quakerism and then back to more casual conversation.

If we skip that step--asking the visitor, "Do you have any questions about Quakerism?" or "What was your experience like during worship?" or even "What did you know about Quakerism before you came here?--we risk perpetuating the perception that Quaker meetings are really more like a social club where we don't talk about God in our lives, a perception which in turn can be carried by visitors into meetings for worship.

These days, especially when I attend the larger worship at the monthly meeting on First Days, I've noticed in myself a growing willingness to introduce myself to someone I don't know when worship breaks. After all, we're shaking hands anyway, so why not just add a quick, "G'morning. I'm Liz; nice to meet you"? So far, folks have been willing to tell me their name in return.

From there, it's just a short reach to add an additional ten words or so that Martin suggests:

Would you like to join me for a bite afterward?

Blessings,
Liz

An open letter to George W. Bush

2010-09-16T11:02:00.000-07:00

16 September 2010

George W. Bush
Office of George W. Bush
P.O. Box 259000
Dallas, TX 75225-9000

Dear George Bush:

Ramadan is over; Eid has brought countless numbers of American Muslims together this month, and I have been wondering why no one in the United States has heard your voice to calm the recent hysteria that so many politicians and even members of the clergy have been demonstrating toward American Muslims and toward their faith.

Yours was the voice of calm, respect, and Christian love in the days that followed those horrific attacks on September 11, 2001:

The terrorists practice a fringe form of Islamic extremism that has been rejected by Muslim scholars and the vast majority of Muslim clerics; a fringe movement that

perverts the peaceful teachings of Islam...

I also want to speak tonight directly to Muslims throughout the world.

We respect your faith.

It's practiced freely by many millions of Americans and by millions more in countries that America counts as friends.

Its teachings are good and peaceful,

and those who commit evil in the name of Allah blaspheme the name of Allah.

The terrorists are traitors to their own faith, trying, in effect, to hijack Islam itself.

(emphasis mine; from the History Place website)

I respectfully say to you, Friend, that your silence during this time of grave misperception, harmful stereotyping, and fear-based rhetoric is like the Santa Ana wind: it cannot be seen, but when there is fire, that which cannot be seen adds to the enormity of the destruction and ruin of American lives.

As a Quaker, I am reminded that my faith’s practice of silent, open worship cannot take the place of speaking out, of showing up, of offering myself as a grounded presence in times of wrongful action and hate-filled speech.

I pray that the Loving Presence stirs thy heart and lifts thy spirit so that thee may remember our Muslim brothers and sisters in this country and around the world; that thee may remind our wider American family that American Muslims are Americans; that Islam is a way to peace.

Thy shoulders may well carry a burden specific unto thee, thy voice a message to speak unto a nation that is in distress. Do not bury thy talent and believe it is being well-used.

Taking responsibility for learning about Islam

2010-09-07T09:19:00.000-07:00

Recent sobering news about how one house of worship in Florida wants to "acknowledge" the events of 9-11 has gotten me to start thinking about what I can do, as one person.

At least for the remainder of September, each day I am going to read a passage from the Qur'an. (I've changed my homepage on my computer to this link as a commitment to doing so.)

I got to thinking about this after I learned from Robin M. that San Francisco Meeting will be talking with some of their young Friends about recent developments around the proposed Islamic Center in New York and historical examples of religious persecution. Sounds like a good way to teach and learn about tolerance.

I also find myself wondering: If we can take the time to talk with our children and youngest Friends about Islam and the religious persecution that Muslims in America are currently facing, maybe I can start educating myself too.

Perhaps others will join me.

Blessings,
Liz

Silence on a stick?!

2010-09-01T17:40:00.000-07:00

Here where I am, the end of the summer is marked by what is called the Great Minnesota Get-Together: the Minnesota State Fair.

One theme for the food that is sold at the fair is "food-on-a-stick": fried Twinkies, chocolate-dipped cheesecake, and caramelized bacon--on a stick.

The other day while hanging out with some Quaker friends, one of them suggested we could have a Quaker booth at the fair next year and sell Silence-on-a-Stick.

The idea got some laughs, but in light of what is happening with the increase in "Islamophobia" in the U.S., I was struck by our initial corporate Quaker silence across the country. When I started this post a few days ago, I took heart at what rabbinic student Rachel Barenblat wrote shortly after a drunk man urinated on the rugs of a New York mosque. I left the following comment:

...Not only did I post the link on my Facebook page but I also called my local TV station and referred them to your blog, asking that some air time be dedicated to the GOOD THINGS that Americans can do for one another.

One downside to the portion of Quakers that has no formally recognized clergy is that we sometimes lack the leadership such as what you and apparently Stu provided in this instance: in a moment of inspiration, to act and not just pray.

While I search my own heart for how I might be led in these horrifying times, I also ask that others point me to positive responses and goodwill outreach that is taking place.

What are the Quakers in your corner of the world doing to refute the blame and the hate that is going on?

What does our faith call us to do, in addition to pray?

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

I'm grateful to see messages now put out by New York Yearly Meeting in collaboration with AFSC, as well as a statement from Friends Committee on National Legislation.

Some highlights from these statements:

NYYM and AFSC:

We dare to imagine the site of the World TradeTowers surrounded by the evidence of our nation’s commitment to religious freedom, and our nation’s pluralism. We welcome it alongside current mosques and other houses of worship, and other interfaith and community centers near the site and throughout our city.

FCNL:

To counter the distrust and misinformation, more people need to state publicly that they support the freedom of American Muslims to worship and to gather together.

But I also return to this haunting piece, which could just as easily begin with "First they came for the Muslims..."

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out --
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out --
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out --
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me -- and there was no one left to speak for me.

What do these melancholic words impel us to do, at the very least...?

Blessings,
Liz

Why I am still a Quaker

2010-08-25T06:51:00.000-07:00

a. Why are you a Quaker?
b. How are you a Quaker?
c. Please give an example of how a Meeting for Worship is conducted in your tradition.

These are three questions that a friend of Wess' asks and for which she seeks answers from a wide variety of Quakers. My answers are below, and I acknowledge that I skimmed a few earlier posts I've written, believing I had covered some of these topics... and curious to know what, if anything, still holds true.

a. Why am I a Quaker?

When I am asked to consider this question, I often think of when I was in elementary school, and some classmates of mine would ask me things like, "Be honest! Do you like my new dress?" ...or "Tell me the truth: Am I your best friend?"

I don't know why, but I was never taught to tell even a white lie, so when I discovered a people of faith who--as human and as flawed as we all are--do their best to be honest in all their affairs, well, I was relieved to learn that I wasn't the only person in the whole world who believed it was more important to be honest than it was to be liked.

There are other reasons why I'm a Quaker, like this one:

I yearn to be faithful to the leadings I am given.

Or this one:

We can help one another live up to our measure of the Light. And if we can't, then the Light itself can.

But perhaps a more important question for long-time Friends to answer with one another is this:

Even after a number of painful experiences and disillusionments, why am I still a Quaker?

After each painful experience, I certainly reassess if I am to remain among Friends or not! But I believe I have remained among Friends because I have reached outside of my monthly meeting when I have been hurt or disillusioned by something that's happened--I've reached out to other Quakers to hear me out, give me counsel, and hear a bit about how they themselves "came out the other side."

I'm still a Quaker simply because I have chosen to stay--to stay in worship, to stay engaged with the pain until God shows me the way through, to stay involved in the life of the meeting that exists outside of the painful incident.

And I'm still a Quaker because so much of Quakerism brings me emotional and spiritual fulfillment.

b. How are you a Quaker?

This question reminds me of the query, If you were accused of being a Quaker, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

I hope my life as a Friend reflects the practice of living according to how we are led by the Spirit; that I live from a place of Love in my life, even and especially through conflict; that I fall into worship when I have large and small decisions to make; that I seek out others when I am not clear of the way forward; that I place God at the center of my days, of my worship, of my faith.

There are certain Quaker practices and traditions I engage in, like (most recently) intervisitation among Friends, along with seeking and receiving eldership from seasoned Friends.

Most important, I am a Quaker because I place myself in Quaker contexts--not exclusively, but primarily: be it with other Quakers for socialization; or reviewing Quaker writings for inspiration and guidance; or engaging in corporate worship, even on a sometimes irregular basis.

But as I read over what I've already offered, I find myself returning to this:

I am Quaker because of how I open myself to listen for and follow God's guidance. The "how" is based on 350 years of practice by my Quaker predecessors.

c. An example of how a Meeting for Worship is conducted in your tradition.

In recent years, in addition to worshiping with Liberal Friends, I have had the opportunity to worship with Conservative Friends in the U.S., mostly during their yearly meetings. As a result, I have learned to talk about how both Conservative and Liberal Friends worship in the unprogrammed tradition. I worry that there's a misconception that Conservative Friends are more fundamentalist in theology than Liberal Friends (more fundamentalist, not entirely; a bit more Christocentric, yes) and therefore there's the misconception that Conservative Friends have programmed or highly structured worship with a pastor of some sort (they don't).

From the outside looking in, Meetings for Worship have looked the same in these two U.S. branches* of Friends: people gather in a meetingroom that has chairs roughly in a circle, or in concentric circles, and quietly take it upon themselves to "center down"--with no outward direction by a person or a chime.

"Centering down" is not a phrase I often use, but what I mean by it is that the worshipers begin to get less fidgety; their mind-racing usually slows down; maybe their breathing even deepens or becomes more intentional for a time. If we could get a glimpse into the most invisible workings of these worshipers, we might understand that their hearts, souls, and minds all turn away from the rush of the outside world and turn toward the Light.

Ideally, we become entrained to one another and to the Living Presence that has been awaiting us.

Among a group of Friends who know one another very well, I have found this shared or corporate centering to be nearly palpable and somewhat invigorating, and I feel like we are all leaning forward, spiritually, as if someone is whispering something to us and we strive to hear...

And when in fact a worshiper confirms for herself or himself, in a wordless, internal discernment process, that she or he has heard God's message, that person speaks out of the silence, being mindful of staying close to the message that was given and keeping away from, as much as possible, the temptation to change the message, lest it be made "nice" if it's a challenge to the community, or lest it become needlessly "polished" if there are parts that seem uneven.

For about an hour, unless someone has specifically convened an "extended" Meeting for Worship, the worship continues in this manner, mostly worshiping in a cohesive and active silence (ie. corporate worship), with perhaps one or more spoken messages adding to the experience--that is, ideally, deepening the stillness in which we listen for the Loving Principle that many Friends call God or Christ or the Inner Light.

At the close of the hour, Friends shake hands and quietly greet one another. A number of monthly meetings then move into an added bit of time to share of their experience--either what they experienced during the worship itself, the sense of the Spirit among them; or about thoughts and reflections that emerged for them in the worship but "didn't rise to the level of vocal ministry" in their own hearts and minds. Some meetings share prayer requests during this time or share news of how the Spirit and Truth has been moving among them during the previous week. Usually then there is a time for announcements, fellowship, and maybe a bit to eat.

A final reflection

Putting words to the experience of Meeting for Worship is a difficult task, because there is a qualitative difference between the words I use (and you read) and the experience of worship itself. It's like searching for words to describe the water that one might swim in, as compared to swimming in the water itself.

Blessings,
Liz

*Because of my service on the Central Committee of Friends General Conference, I know not to call FGC a "branch." There are FUM Friends, Conservative Friends, Liberal Friends, and even friends of Friends who participate in programs or otherwise use the services that FGC offers. But because of how FGC talks about affiliation and constituent meetings, there remains a persistent misconception that meetings in the U.S. or Canada might be "FGC meetings." Not so: Monthly meetings belong to a yearly meeting, which typically has its roots of one branch of Quakerism or another; and monthly meetings are accountable to their yearly meeting (and vice versa), not to FGC.

RELATED POSTS:
Ten Reasons Why I'm Quaker
I Should Have Known I Was a Quaker

Root bound?

2010-08-19T13:52:00.000-07:00

In the room where the worship group meets, there is a single large pot with five plants that look like miniature palm trees. Sometimes they look thirsting for water, their slender leaves folded down, close to the candle-stick sized trunk.

This past First Day, I couldn't help but wonder if those five trees were root-bound, given that the pot was only about eighteen inches tall, was about a foot in diameter, and has been there, unchanged, since we started worshiping in this location, I think.

That got me thinking:

Our meetings can get root bound, can't they? ...Like when we fall into spiritual ruts of faith and practice, never seeking new opportunities to listen for God's call, or letting those new opportunities slide by, or failing to take a stand publicly for an important social-justice issue because it's too much work to organize and step out into public.

Or when our committees are root-bound, they tend to focus on whatever is on their plate in front of them and seldom take time out to consider rising concerns that might lead the committee and its members onto a new and interesting path, maybe incorporating a longer view or a way to involve more worshipers over time.

Our worship can get root bound, when we stop anticipating the Living Presence to dwell among us and we fall into our own private reveries, or when we stop sharing our experience of God in our lives and substitute such tender sharing with a litany of complaints about our worldly concerns.

Similarly, having too little soil in the pot can leave the roots overly exposed to air pockets and without enough nutrients. There is a necessary Something in the ground that surrounds the roots and fills the pot, and we must be careful to learn when the pot's soil is too dry; when it is too wet; and when the plants themselves need to be transplanted to some new pot for greater freedom for the roots to grow and for the soil's nutrients to be refreshed.

Maybe my choice a few years ago to begin worshiping with the worship group was a way to transplant myself into a pot that seemed to have more fertile soil, more nutrient-rich dirt. More than once, though, someone in worship has cautioned us to be wary of becoming "spiritually sleepy," and we have stayed open and alert for an opportunity to participate in a service project, to stretch ourselves beyond our familiar pattern of worship.

This fall, we'll be finishing a formal commitment to help a refugee Somali family resettle in the Twin Citiesl. Also we'll return to our experiment with providing some Quaker adult education for the worship group. We may also consider having a retreat since recently the worship group has added a few people who are new to Quakerism.

And always, always I'll be on the lookout for an opportunity to travel among Friends or to bring a visiting Friend to us: Such opportunities are good reminders for me that no one has to stay rooted in one place; that we often grow from being exposed to new environments and even to some cross-pollination.

We can remain grounded in our tradition, faith, and practice but that doesn't mean that we must restrict our roots from branching out...

Blessings,
Liz

UPDATE: While reading additional Quaker writings on the internet shortly after I posted this piece, I came across this Minute of Exercise from the 2010 annual sessions of New England Yearly Meeting.

Qualities of a Quaker worship community

2010-08-13T08:12:00.000-07:00

A short while ago while traveling in southern Oregon, I worshiped with South Mountain Friends in Ashland. A couple of us shared after worship that we each had been reflecting on Thomas Gates' pamphlet Members One of Another.

In addition to thinking on the relationship between the meeting and its members, I was thinking about those who have written about the qualities of the Inward Light, especially Samuel Caldwell.* I then found myself considering what are some of the primary qualities of a healthy and vibrant Quaker worship community, be it a monthly meeting or a worship group.

*I believe I've read at least one other Friend's remarks on the topic but can't come up with who it was or with any link...

Qualities of a Quaker worship community

Provide spiritual nurture and pastoral care for one another. It seems like many meetings provide pastoral care pretty well: when a Friend is in crisis, our meetings rally around the person to help her or him over the hump, providing careful listening and regular support--be it financial, medical, familial, vocational. On the other hand, how regularly do we ask questions of one another about God or the Loving Principle in our lives, or how the Truth prospers, when our lives aren't in turmoil...? Must we wait for workshops or adult education sessions to learn of and share about our spiritual lives? Must spiritual nurture be limited to confidential clearness committees and ad hoc care committees?

Welcome the stranger as one of our own. I sometimes fantasize that as worship breaks, the Friend who closes worship rises and says, "Before we move into announcements and introductions of visitors, please look around the room and if you see someone near you who you don't know, please welcome them and introduce yourself to them..." It seems like a challenge to discipline ourselves so as not to rush across the meetingroom at the rise of meeting in order to talk to a fellow committee member, when what we could do is take the time to welcome the stranger and the visitor to meeting, asking these newcomers why they came that particular day, what their experience of worship was, and what questions they have about Quakerism.

Call out and provide stewardship for each other's spiritual gifts. Especially in large meetings, this task seems to have been relegated to the Nominating Committee. But what about the spiritual gifts that don't apply to "regular" committee service? What about the Friend who has a gift for providing hospitality when people come to visit in her home? or the Friend who can build an intergenerational community through storytelling and games? or the back-bencher who whispers spot-on insights to his neighbor during Meetings for Worship for Business? How do we ourselves feel when someone "finally" affirms a talent, gift, or perspective we have but feel like few others ever notice? I have had the opportunity to witness one Friend in particular who will say, "I wonder if Such-and-so Friend could help us with that particular task, since I see she (or he) has a gift for such-and-so..." It's one way the worship community becomes responsible for the nurture and stewardship of the spiritual gifts among us, since these gifts belong not to the individual but to the community.

cf. Lloyd Lee Wilson has an excellent chapter on "Community Stewardship of our Spiritual Gifts" in his book of essays on Gospel Order.

Guide one another into greater faithfulness, discipline, humility, obedience, and love. In order to offer such guidance, we have to be willing to share our vulnerabilities, our leadings, our struggles, and our overall experience of the Inward Teacher more openly with one another and with the community as a whole. We learn not only by formal study and by informal discussion but also through watching how we conduct our lives both in and outside of the meetingroom. When under stress, do we take time out to pray and to seek God's guidance? During a conflict within our meeting, do we respond to others harshly or with kindness? When a particular activity goes well, are there Friends who insist on grabbing all the credit, or is there gratitude for the Spirit for having led us into such a happy opportunity?

Knit together the corporate body in the Spirit and sustain the corporate nature of the faith's tradition. This is perhaps the least tangible, least visible element of our worship communities. There's a wordless, visceral experience, though, when we are gathered as a corporate body, whether it be during a Meeting for Worship on the occasion of a marriage, or having a special event to celebrate all the young people in the meeting. That said, there are ways to watch and listen for the increeping of individualism in our Quaker community, such as giving weight to personal and individual preferences; the use of the phrase "I think we should..." or "I'd like to see us..."; the (unintended?) attempt to hold a meeting for worship for business hostage by saying "I'm going to stand in the way of that decision" or the more subtle "I'm not in unity with that decision so therefore we don't have sense of the meeting and can't move forward."

How to live into a vibrant and healthy Quaker community

Here are a few specific steps we can take to strengthen and deepen our worship communities as Friends.

Study together: Scripture, Quaker writings. By studying and learning about our faith tradition together, we develop a shared language about Quakerism. We also develop a shared understanding about our earliest roots, about our growth as a "people to be gathered," and about the people and events that continue to shape who we are in modern times.

Worship together. During tragic events; to honor momentous occasions; during times of struggle; and out of a yearning for healing, worship is our touchstone where we come to lay aside our personal agendas and to lift up our hearts, be it in celebration or in sorrow. Contrary to what it looks like to those visitors unaccustomed to Quaker worship, we are not individuals sitting in a dead silence: we are seekers of the Truth who yearn to know God's message for us, to live out God's call in our daily lives, individually and as a body joined in the Spirit.

Cherish one another as family. Bitterness toward our fellow worshiper cannot easily coexist with our desire to cherish one another. We can learn to love one another without condoning irresponsible or disrespectful behavior: it is a discipline for which we need much practice--and much forgiveness when we ourselves fall short. But let us try what Love can do, regardless.

Provide measures of loving accountability. In a healthy, vibrant Quaker community, there is what I call an "appropriate nosiness" for us to engage in with one another. Surprisingly, setting limits and providing accountability--such as testing our leadings with one another and meeting with a care-and-accountability committee--can be a source of support and spiritual nurture. When we understand that such things are part and parcel of Quakerism's practice, we feel cared for when members of our Quaker worship community engage with us around sharing our spiritual gifts and around our steps and missteps on the way to being faithful to God's call.

Labor together... and stay to see the results over time. Sometimes it is easier after a hard, contentious decision has been made to leave the community altogether, especially if things did not go "our" way. As a corporate body, staying despite the pain or disillusionment allows the community to reflect on how things are going afterward, whether or not there are fruits of the Spirit, or how good or poor those fruits actually are. Plus, when we are struggling with one another, those may be the times when God breaks through and reveals a new way to move forward. Laboring together can also mean finding a service project or a hands-on activity in which to participate as a worship community. Sometimes unknown gifts are brought into the Light when we are taken out of our comfort zone and we are forced to draw on resources that we otherwise hadn't known were available to us. New voices among us might be drawn out; previously hidden skills may appear, and we learn anew who we are as a community.

Bear witness together. Similar to laboring with one another, bearing witness together can develop or strengthen a sense of interdependence, a reliance on one another when witnessing to Truth in public or against "the establishment" may feel risky or even dangerous. Bearing witness can also be less visible--not as confrontational--while still carrying weight because the entire worship community has agreed to take action together. When we feel responsible to a group we care for, we are likely to engage in action to which the group as a whole has committed itself.

Point out to one another when individualism is threatening to take hold and then re-engage our corporate practice. When our Quaker worship community and the worshipers within it are surrounded by the distractions and even lusts of the secular world, even Quakerism's corporate nature can be undermined by the wider culture that swirls around us. We need one another to remind us of our Quaker heritage, of the disciplines of corporate worship and corporate discernment, of the practice of waiting on the Lord rather than making decisions out of convenience of time or of money.

Speak openly of our struggles, joys, and successes in following the Inward Teacher. We grow our identity as Friends and sustain our worship communities as Quakers by telling our stories of God in our lives and by remembering the roots of where our peculiar practices, vocabulary, and witness come from. If we gather only for worship, we miss the opportunity to hear about the rest of our lives as we strive to put our faith into action.

Critical mass, "togetherness," and being a corporate body

As I was finishing up my list of the qualities of a Quaker worship community, I realized I wanted to address the concept of doing things "together" as it relates to the corporate body.

"Being a corporate body" does not mean having 100% of the body together 100% of the time, but it does mean striving to have 100% of the body engaged in the entire life of the community over time.

By "life of the community," I mean worship; meetings for worship for business; committee service; projects involving the community; intergenerational activities; care and nurture of our youngest and of our eldest community members; and so on.

It's unrealistic to assume that everyone within a Quaker meeting or worship group will be available to participate in a given activity on a given day. But it is realistic to assume--and I would say reasonable to expect--that over time, everyone will be able to participate in a given activity; that no one will completely and forever stay away from worship, or from meeting for worship for business, or from an opportunity to bear witness against injustice.

The element of participating in a corporate body together is more than having critical mass for any single event. Through worship, struggle, witness, service projects, adult education, intergenerational activities, learning about Quakerism, there is a cumulative experience that occurs over time and it is the cumulative experience among Friends that both shapes and is shaped by the worshiping community and all of its participants.

As always, thanks for reading me.

Blessings,
Liz

RELATED POSTS:

Martin Kelley's suggestion that we invite a newcomer to lunch is the Outreachiest Program Ever

my blog post that refers to critical mass of a Quaker meeting in light of weddings and memorials

2010 Iowa YM Conservative annual sessions

2010-08-01T13:35:00.000-07:00

How is it that I am refreshed after four days of this routine, with 12 hours of worship, neither drained nor eager to return home?

These are the words I posted on The Good Raised Up after returning from my first visit to Iowa Yearly Meeting Conservative during its annual sessions in 2005.

This year I return from sessions--my fifth journey there--with the same sense of sweetness and fullness, though I came home a day early, missing the final business session and the closing worship on First Day.

Unlike last year, which I missed entirely, I was able to attend most of the annual sessions for Iowa Yearly Meeting (Conservative). I was eager to get to the Scattergood campus, in part because my summer had involved travel and activities that made it hard for me to have quality continuity with Quakers. I also was looking forward to seeing a few Friends I knew who would be visiting IYMC for the first time: I think of these Friends as having a deep and alive relationship with the Inward Light, and I was looking forward to getting to know them better during the week.

Panel on outreach for the 2011 FGC Gathering

The evening when sessions started, we heard a few stories from five Conservative Friends who have been to FGC's Gathering. Part of the reason for having this panel is because the Gathering will be held for the first time in Iowa next year at Grinnell College.

There are questions at FGC's end about whether Friends will be willing to travel to Iowa--after all, it's not part of the densely Friend-populated areas of the Mid-Atlantic or of New England; and it's not in a "destination" like the Pacific Northwest, when the 2006 Gathering was held in Tacoma, Washington. Another concern is whether eastern Friends even know where Iowa is--and I'm not being facetious. It wasn't until I moved to the Midwest that I began to care about knowing which Midwestern states were what and where!

Anyway, the panel was a way to explain to IYMC Friends a bit about what the Gathering is (or isn't), as well as to hear any concerns from the body about the event coming to the region.

I was impressed that there were two young adults and one high school student on the panel, as well as two older adults. Some had experienced the Gathering only once ("It was a really important experience for my family."), and others had attended a number of times ("I went through spiritual depths and growing; anger and exhaustion. But there's something to being among Quakers and not feeling weird about being Quaker.")

One of the younger Friends commented on how the Gathering can help "cement" one's identity as a Quaker... which may be true for a young person, but I personally worry that the "cement" at Gathering is more often associated with being among a peer group and having fun, often with activities that aren't necessarily rooted in the practice of Quakerism, or in the growing together in the Light and in the Life of the Spirit. (Some Friends familiar with the Gathering call it a "hot house"--an artificial environment where community grows quickly but might not be able to be sustained outside of the event itself.)

I was also struck by an insight that a particularly shy young adult Friend said:

The Gathering is the best when you come out of your shell and put your best self into it.

This reflects some of my own peak experiences at Gathering, when I feel I am pulled into a greater measure of the Light than I had experienced in my local worship community back home.

The remarks that caught my attention the most, though, came from Marshall Massey, who used to write regularly for a wonderful Quaker blog and is now very active on Facebook... Marshall is knowledgeable and challenging, and sometimes I'm uncomfortable in my skin when he takes up an issue and speaks very thoroughly about it, sometimes calling on us to see the world--or Quakerism--through a new lens. I've learned to continue to listen for the Light in anything he has to offer.

This particular night, he raised the question--and I'm paraphrasing here:

Is FGC bringing the Gathering to IYMC as part of a "courtship dance," to build ties with us, hoping we might affiliate with FGC? As a host to the Gathering, how do we explain ourselves, how do we explain how we practice our faith, and how do we share the stories of how IYMC has shaped our lives?

After a few other remarks from the panelists, we moved into a quieter time when those of us there could speak of our own experiences or concerns. Here are some that particularly stay with me:

One Friend commented with some disgust that he had once seen a sign at a Liberal Friends' event saying, "You can believe whatever you want." The Friend went on to testify that being a Quaker isn't about believing what you want. It's about living your life by following the leadings of the Spirit.
Another Friend spoke about the rootedness that is encountered and experienced within IYMC, and that FGC sees that IYMC has something that other Friends not only lack but also hunger for.
And one or two Friends spoke to the possibility that perhaps IYMC is being called to minister to the FGC Gathering in some capacity, and we may not know what that is just yet.

It was just the first session of our five days together, and already there was a lot to think about!

Interconnectedness between the yearly meeting and its monthly meetings

This year as in other years, I again was struck by the nature of the relationship between the monthly meetings and the yearly meeting. (Readers from IYMC: if I misrepresent this relationship or make an error in my summary of the tasks below, please put a correction in the Comments or contact me directly at lizopp AT gmail DOT com.)

As I understand it, several monthly meetings are responsible for the non-business sessions during annual sessions, and that responsibility rotates among all the monthly meetings, rather asking for individual volunteers to serve on a planning committee (though it may be that individuals from each of the appointed meetings comprise the committee).

Each year a monthly meeting is identified to serve as the "Document Committee," reviews all the epistles received by the clerk of IYMC, and identifies excerpts of epistles that are to be read aloud during annual sessions. That responsibility also rotates among the meetings.

Each meeting is to appoint one of its own members to serve on the yearly meeting's Nominating Committee--no need for a Naming Committee!--as well as the Representatives Committee, which proposes a budget and a few other things. The same process is used to identify what IYMC calls the Caretakers for the annual session: the Friends from across the yearly meeting who will help with the logistics of the annual sessions: setting up rooms, getting water to the clerks' table, making announcements, etc.

Also, a good number of meetings--maybe all of them--have Friends who participate on the yearly meeting's Peace and Social Concerns Committee, and it appears that many meetings actually take action in response to recommendations made and issues discussed during sessions.

Ken and Katharine Jacobson

On the second night of sessions, Ohio Yearly Meeting Friends Ken and Katharine Jacobson spoke tenderly on the theme "The Way of Love."

It happens that in recent years, I have been counseled and encouraged to meet these Friends, especially since they moved to southern Wisconsin a few years ago. It seems some of our concerns about Quakerism overlap, or maybe our mutual fFriends believed we would just get along so well... It so happened that last year, Way opened for a phone conversation between us, and I was eager to meet them here at annual sessions. They are warm-hearted people with a generosity of Spirit that is visible in their eyes...

By the sound of things, Ken's engagement and study at Chicago's Theological Seminary has brought important Light to his fellow seminarians. He spoke to us of how astonished they were by the possibility that worship doesn't have to be a "performance" packaged in liturgy, hymn singing, and preaching, but that rather that worship "can come out of nothing and out of Presence." Ken joked about how eager these colleagues were to learn about the Quaker way of waiting worship: "Can you say more about silence?!"

Katharine spoke quietly, in part due to her declining health as she deals with Parkinson's, but her Light shone clear in her words, gestures, and smile. She spoke about her movement into greater Listening and she hinted at her service to Friends as elder and spiritual companion.

Ken did much of the talking, and his exuberance for living in the Life was palpable:

Practicing the Way of Love is something that not a lot of Friends know we have: it can come and go very quickly.
Tapping into God's Love means that God's Love is close, available, and accessible.
There are three words connected to the practice of the Way of Love: choice, obedience, and discipline.
The rhythm of Friends' life moves in three steps: releasing all that we hold onto, that keeps us from living the Way of Love; receiving the Light and the Love that is available to us; and the offering out to others and to the world all the Light and the Love that we ourselves have received.
All of us are being called to live the Way of Love, so we have a responsibility to help one another live into that call.

It's this last point that gives me pause:

All of us are being called to live the Way of Love, so we have a responsibility to help one another live into that call.

Isn't that truly what is meant by answering that of God in everyone, to help one another live into that deep, silent call from the Inward Teacher...?

And wouldn't that reminder put an end to all the fuss over theological differences--and even the seeds of war--when all we need to focus on is how we are being called to live the Way of Love?

There were other evening presentations but this one had the most impact on me.

Meetings for Worship for Business

When the yearly meeting takes up its business, the first session or two consist mainly of reports from a number of smaller committees, reading of excerpts from epistles of other yearly meetings in the U.S. and from around the world, as well as the sharing of epistles from the two other Conservative bodies, Ohio Yearly Meeting and North Carolina Yearly Meeting (Conservative).

This year it was noted that each of the three Conservative yearly meetings has welcomed a new monthly meeting into the fold: Crossroads Meeting (Michigan) became a part of Ohio; Davidson Friends Meeting (North Carolina) became a part of North Carolina; and Yahara Friends Meeting (Wisconsin) became a part of Iowa. (For the record, Laughing Waters Friends Worship Group remains unaffiliated, with some worshipers having affinity for Iowa, and others having affinity for Northern Yearly Meeting.)

Among the reports that I was able to hear--I left a day early and missed the final business session--there was one from the Earthcare Subcommittee of the very-active Peace and Social Concerns Committee. The Earthcare Subcommittee included information on Yahara Meeting's program on evaluating the true cost of travel. Apparently, this program includes information on how to calculate one's petroleum use and the true cost of that use. Friends who are following this program then put the amount of money needed to cover that "true cost" into a fund for Scattergood Friends School to use as the school explores the use of wind power on its campus. (The school was recently made local news about its new solar panels and about its new head of school.)

Other energy-conservation related initiatives were mentioned, such as

Each of the above websites offer some creative thinking that is going on around the world in order to address climate change.

Two other topics brought to the yearly meeting in recent years and again this year address immigration issues and the events surrounding the Postville, Iowa Agriprocessors raid. This year in particular, the Peace and Social Concerns Committee crafted a minute, which the yearly meeting approved, encouraging each Friend and monthly meeting of the yearly meeting to come under the weight of the concern for how the U.S. is addressing immigration. The minute, as I recall, directs Friends to become "well versed" in the issues and explore how to get involved locally, making the issue more personal.

As someone who typically doesn't care for the activist element of many Friends' meetings, I am taken up by the hope and by the real-world practicality--grounded in Friends' testimonies, practice, and faith--that IYMC and its Peace and Social Concerns Committee lift up year after year. There is a humility among these Friends that I seldom experience in other monthly and yearly meetings, as they seek the way forward with complex and potentially overwhelming issues. That humility and keeping low appeals to me and speaks to me of the abiding Love that makes us all of one Family...

Answering the Queries

Every year, at least in the years I've attended, each monthly meeting sends answers to the Queries to the the assistant clerk, who then selects a representative response to each query to be presented during annual sessions. First the query is read aloud, followed by the selected response, with no mention made of the monthly meeting from where it comes.

What was different for me this year as compared to other years was that for a number of months in 2009, the worship group I attend experimented with answering these queries "in the manner of Iowa Conservative Friends." As the queries and their responses were read, I fell into my own silent review of what some of our own comments were, as well as the overall deep worship and holy fellowship that we engaged in each month to consider that month's query. I found myself missing those opportunities of collective reflection, now that the worship group's ad hoc committee on affiliation has been laid down for a time.

Answering queries as a body requires all of us to listen for and help articulate the True Response that exists wordlessly in the life of the worshiping body--which pragmatically means resisting the temptation to write "One Friend said this; another Friend said that; still another Friend added such-and-so..."

Instead, when recording a response to a query, that response is to be representative of the extent to which Truth and Love prosper among us, as a gathered body, and relative to the topic of the query. When our replies authentically express our struggle as well as our success, and when those replies are shared with a larger body, such as a yearly meeting, we are likely to work harder to live in Gospel Order, tap into God's Love, and reach out to the stranger in order to bring about God's kin(g)dom.

A few miscellaneous closing thoughts

During one of the business sessions, we heard a report from the Ministry & Counsel Committee of the yearly meeting. Part of the report included a reference to the concern that some meetings have about diminishing numbers of worshipers. The committee encouraged Friends to resist the usual worry that accompanies this decline and instead focus on the opportunity that is given: to work together to deepen and grow the Life that is within the remaining worship community, to continue to focus on the Presence of God's Love in their midst, and to continue to answer God's call as it is revealed to them.

To me, such counsel speaks to tending to the quality of the practice, not to the quantity of the practitioners.

Lastly, this year is the last that Friend Deborah Fisch is serving as presiding clerk of the yearly meeting. She has served as clerk for more than ten years, and the clerk before her, Bill Deutsch, also served for (I believe) ten years.

IYMC's practice has been to have a committee discern, together with the clerk, whether that Friend is to continue serving as clerk the following year. So it goes, year after year, allowing the Spirit to guide Friends as to which gifts are needed by the yearly meeting at what point and from whom.

While it may well be true that my Conservative leanings as a Friend have been impacted directly by my personal friendship with Deborah over the years--I believe we met in 2000 when I began serving on the Central Committee of Friends General Conference, where she works; and she has provided me with loving eldership over the years--I'll learn experimentally about the deeper nature of Conservative Quakerism in the midwestern U.S. as the incoming clerk presides over next year's annual sessions.

I have put the dates in my calendar already: 26-31 Seventh Month 2011.

Blessings,
Liz

Packing interrupted

2010-07-26T20:31:00.000-07:00

I'm forcing myself to interrupt my preparation for the annual sessions of Iowa Yearly Meeting (Conservative) so that I can spit out a blogpost that's been sitting with me recently.

I've been reading a few pages a day of Fit for Freedom, Not for Friendship. Some of it is truly educational, at least for me, like the two competing abolition movements among Friends: one that advocated for the gradual ending of the slave trade--first by prohibiting the importation of Africans to the colonies, then moving into requiring the freeing of enslaved Africans and African Americans--and the other advocated for immediate emancipation of all those who were enslaved.

Other parts of the book--at least, the first few chapters--have been rather horrifying and ego-busting, like just how few Quakers of European descent truly worked for abolition and how many Quakers were reluctant to give up their privilege of "owning" one or more Africans. ....I'm pretty sure if I had been an adult back in those days, I would have been among those who enslaved my African brothers and sisters. ...though I'd like to think, too, that I would have been opened by the Spirit and would have lent my help in some regards to the Underground Railroad or other elements of the abolitionist movement, but it's hard to know for sure. After all, these days I'm still slow to act when I see an injustice occur...

And still other parts of the book are kind of a mirror for today. Back then, there were extremely wealthy Quakers of European descent who could direct enormous sums of money to efforts like the establishment of schools for emancipated African Americans. It makes me reconsider just where am I directing my surplus money? Am I sacrificing enough? It can't possibly be rightly ordered for me to hold onto my financial privilege, so how hard will it be for me to surrender to just what is rightly ordered?

This book is not just about debunking "the myth of racial justice." It's also about allowing God to transform the book's readers by way of seeing how Friends from earlier times either turned from the Light or heeded it.

Blessings,
Liz

To clerk or not to clerk...

2010-07-22T13:44:00.000-07:00

Recently the informal fellowship-through-singing group of Quakers called Nightingales got together at a family farm in Wisconsin.

In recent years, we've been moving through a transition that has meant saying goodbye to many of the long-time Friends who founded Nightingales. Most have either passed away or have become too frail to participate. As most of these "Celestial Mamas" have left us, their biological and spiritual offspring have been reluctant to step forward, but we've kept at it anyway. The thought of not having Nightingales is more painful than the work of understanding who we are as the torch is passed to us.

We still gather about once a quarter to sing, eat, and camp. We still take work-shifts to help with food prep and clean-up. We still rent a Port-a-Potty and set up tents on people's land. And we still wrestle with how to welcome newcomers and who will say any words of explanation about "Nightingales' culture"--like, that we encourage folks to look into people's eyes and sing to one another, rather than have our noses pointed into our songbooks.

Or that we have no designated leader but we ask that each person pick a song and then wait for others to have a chance to pick a song before requesting another one.

Or that we allow the person who has requested a song to start it off as she or he wishes, to set the pitch and tempo, to select any alternate verses we are to sing (or skip), to ask someone else to start the song if he or she doesn't want to do so.

It sounds like a lot to keep track of, but in practice it's very very simple.

There's a comfort in sinking into the small pools of silence that frame each song, allowing us to consider what song to ask for next, or letting us absorb the tenderness of a hymn we just sang with especially sweet and delicate harmonies.

There's another element to being a non-hierarchical Quaker-based somewhat-transient fellowship of Friends, and that is that on occasion, we have a request to address some business as a group.

Maybe it's that there's a request for us to consider holding Nightingales at a campsite or joining with our smaller sister group to the south, the Meadowlarks, composed of Friends from Iowa Yearly Meeting (Conservative).

Or maybe there's a concern that we don't make explicit enough the extent to which we welcome and incorporate children and young families, and we take some time to consider that need and craft some language that may (or may not) be used in future mailings.

Lately, there's been a repeated concern about how we can be consistent from gathering to gathering so Friends may find it easier to join with us: What if the gatherings were the same weekend in April, July, and October? What if we had some guidelines around how many stories can be shared before introducing a new song?

At the recent spring Nightingales, there had been some discussion about how to be more welcoming, how to make the most out of our time together, and how to "foster gathered singing," but what wasn't clear was what to do about that discussion. So it was that when we gathered for our summer Nightingales, a Friend asked that we have a short business session to follow up from spring.

When the time came, though, the Friend realized she was not in a place to clerk, and the question came up, Who will clerk the session?

A number of what I think of as "clerking decoys" were offered:

What if we each just said what we wanted to say and made sure there was time between each sharing?

How 'bout we go through the list of topics that was brought up last time?

Let's just do worship-sharing around whatever the concern is.

Why not use a talking stick?

That last offering, as many readers might guess, turned my stomach. So of course that's when I spoke up:

All of us here are at least familiar with Quaker practices so I prefer we not use a talking stick!

Eventually, and in part because I felt a couple of Friends were hopeful I'd offer to clerk, I went on to say that I felt like we often talk about these same topics--how do we become more welcoming; what would help us be more consistent from gathering to gathering; how do we get the word out that Nightingales is gathering again...?

I think I also added something like, Rather than rehash these same topics, I think we have to start living into the answers.

To say the least, I was frustrated. We ultimately moved on to firm up plans for fall Nightingales (in October, outside of Milwaukee) and for spring Nightingales (in April, hopefully at the same camp in western Wisconsin where it was held this past spring).

But what I came home with and have been reflecting on are two questions:

When does a gathered body need a clerk, and when does it just need space to reflect on something together?

Would Nightingales be served if one or two Friends were identified ahead of time to step in as clerk if a matter came up that warranted clerking?

Of course, as an ad hoc group with little infrastructure between gatherings, there's no clear process to nominate anyone, other than in the moment.

But as I was re-reading the summary of spring's discussion, I saw these two things, which had a way of making the other concerns melt away:

We like to talk with each other and we don't want too many rules.

We come together to sing because we love each other.

I would add:

We come together to sing because we love singing with each other. Somehow the Spirit just rises up in all of us, singing, and we are gathered in that experience.

Blessings,
Liz

Chart of intersection between "belongings" and themes from Thomas Gates

2010-07-04T12:58:00.001-07:00

NOTE: This chart is more extensive than the one I embedded in the previous post (I had abridged it for easier reading, but oh well). At least one reader reported to me she had trouble viewing the first chart.

Note, too, that many of the terms and phrases in the far left column come directly from Thomas Gates' pamphlet Members One of Another. The notation I used in the previous chart didn't carry over to this one... and neither did any of the links, it turns out.

Blessings,
Liz

Love and Belonging: Consideration of how we as Friends belong to one another, to Quakerism, and to God, regardless of how long we have been among Friends.

	Belong to one another	Belong to Quakerism	Belong to God/Love
Welcome & Acceptance	provide and request care and nurture
	be there for one another (crisis of faith; marriage; memorials; clearness; etc.)
	be curious about the movement of the Spirit, of Love, in one another's lives
Shared Values	participate in one another's lives, not just knowing about each other	commit to engage in Quaker practices and disciplines	maintain Love at the center of our life and faith
		be active in the life of the Meeting during and between Meetings for Worship	waiting upon the Light in times of difficulty³
		act together and reflect together on Root and fruit of the Testimonies (indiv and corporate levels)
Transformation	share our ministries, leadings, and struggles with one another; be vulnerable with each other	be willing to seek new Light in difficult times and from difficult people; be willing to wrestle with others	be willing to grow into our measure of Light
	bear witness to the transformation of one another	provide mutual accountability and mutual encouragement	be willing to wrestle with God
Obedience		test our leadings with one another	Engage in faithfulness and a humble obedience; be willing to yield
		"exhort one another daily" to be faithful to how we are called¹
Caution	feeling accepted does not provide an automatic "in" for membership; feeling accepted does not mean individualism and secularism should replace tending to the Root and minding the Light	can the Meeting allow itself to grow because of a Friend's ministry/new Light? "what is important is not how far one has traveled, but rather one's commitment to travel this particular path we call Quakerism"²	can the Meeting allow its members to grow beyond the confines of the Meeting; can we avoid pressuring one another to conform to the Meeting's "culture"?
Challenge	inconvenience ourselves to make time for others	inconvenience ourselves to uphold Quaker practices and to grow as a Meeting	inconvenience ourselves to receive God's love, to be broken open, to be obedient to God's call

1. Epistle XXII, by George Fox.

2. Members One of Another, by Thomas Gates, p. 36

3. see Epistle X, by George Fox.

Notes from the presentation "On Being A Quaker"

2010-07-02T16:38:00.000-07:00

At the end of June, I met with Friends and spoke (mostly) out of the silence on the topic On Being A Quaker. Normally for a presentation or workshop, I use a combination of outline and mindmap, but the closer I got to actually opening my mouth for this event, the more strongly I understood that I was supposed to lay aside my handwritten notes and speak out of the silence.

The outward preparation

Originally, I was thinking of what it means to be "a new kind of Quaker" as compared to "an old kind of Quaker." But I kept coming back to the theme of belonging to one another, belonging to Quakerism, and belonging to God.

As I was rereading Thomas Gates' pamphlet Members One of Another, I found myself drawn into considering how his themes of transformation and obedience intersect with the theme of belonging, and so I took some time to clarify what was beginning to take shape in me by creating a chart, which I've included below.

The inward preparation

A few things caught me by surprise.

One was that a few weeks prior to the 2-hour presentation, I became clear that I needed to have a companion in ministry--what used to be called an elder. I hadn't requested that sort of spiritual companionship for a short thing like this but I'm glad I did for this occasion. One person's name rose up for the Friend who was providing all the arrangements--and it was a person I had met literally just three or four week's prior. It all felt rightly ordered.

I also put out a number of prayer requests--again, not something I had done for other presentations. One Friend offered to bring the prayer request to a group of Friends she knew who intentionally prayed for traveling ministers.

And just a few minutes before I was to begin speaking at the event, I sat with my companion in ministry on the back stoop of the meetinghouse, overlooking the Meeting's very old cemetery. I felt myself being called out by the presence of those Friends long buried, and I sensed their affirmation of the need for me to "go deep" and stay deep during my remarks.

The last thing that caught me off-guard was the number of times that I myself was moved to tears as I was speaking! I recall the Power that was expressed, for example, when I spoke about the need for us to make ourselves vulnerable with one another, to be deeply authentic, as a way for us to belong to one another and to understand how it is that the Spirit is moving among us... that we cannot keep the stories of how the Spirit is prospering in our lives out of a secular need confidentiality, for if I, as a new or maturing Friend, never or seldom hear these stories from my Quaker brothers and sisters, from my Quaker parents and grandparents, how am I to know what such movement of the Spirit looks like or feels like or is like? How is a newer Friend supposed to learn these things...?

A synopsis of what I shared

As what sometimes happens when I speak out of the silence during a Meeting for Worship, I don't recall exactly what I said, though I did touch on a number of things I had previously written down for myself, about how we might go about inviting one another to consider how we as Friends belong to one another, to Quakerism, and to God, regardless of how long we have been among Friends--that is, regardless of whether we are a "new kind of Quaker" or an "old kind of Quaker."

And after organizing my notes and my thoughts into a systematic whole--a chart!--I realized that if I had had the opportunity, I may have changed the title of the presentation:

Love and Belonging: Consideration of how we as Friends belong to one another, to Quakerism, and to God, regardless of how long we have been among Friends.Or maybe I would have called it "Transformation and Obedience," since those are the threads I seemed to return to...

Anyway, below is the main part of the chart I created and referred to during my message. It's not complete by any means, so feel free to shape it and rework it and fill it in or expand it as you feel led.

In particular, I paid attention to the "cautions" and the challenges or "inconveniences" of each of these layers of spiritual development and belonging. I also emphasized the word "belonging" by breaking that word apart:

BE ... LONGING,

as in:

Be longing for one another;

Be longing for Quakerism; and

BE longing for God.At the very end of the evening, I closed with a number of queries that had arisen for me as I was finishing up my outward preparation, so I share those after the chart.

NOTE: In the chart, I use the notation TG, in brackets, to refer to language used by Tom Gates in his pamphlet.

(UPDATE: If you have trouble viewing the chart below, or to view a more extensive version of this chart, click here.)

TOPIC	Belong to one another	Belong to Quakerism	Belong to God
WELCOME & ACCEPTANCE [TG]	Provide and request care and nurture; be curious about the movement of the Spirit, of Love, in one another's lives
SHARED VALUES [TG]		Act together and reflect together on the Root and fruit of the Testimonies, on indiv and corporate levels; commit to engage in Quaker practices and disciplines	Maintain Love at the center of our life and faith; wait upon the Light in times of difficulty
TRANSFORMATION [TG]	Share our ministries, leadings, and struggles with one another; be vulnerable with each other and bear witness to the transformation of one another	Be willing to seek new Light in difficult times and from difficult people; be willing to labor with others	Be willing to wrestle with God; be willing to grow into our measure of Light
OBEDIENCE [TG]	"Exhort one another daily" to be faithful to how we are called	Test our leadings with one another; provide mutual accountability and mutual encouragement	Engage in faithfulness and a humble obedience; be willing to yield
CAUTION	Feeling accepted does not provide an automatic "in" for membership; feeling accepted does not mean individualism and secularism should replace tending to the Root and minding the Light	Can the Meeting allow itself to grow because of a Friend's ministry/new Light? "what is important is not how far one has traveled, but rather one's commitment to travel this particular path we call Quakerism" [TG, p. 36]	Can the Meeting allow its members to grow beyond the confines of the Meeting; can we avoid pressuring one another to conform to the Meeting's "culture"?
CHALLENGE	*Inconvenience ourselves to make time for others*	*Inconvenience ourselves to uphold Quaker practices and to grow as a Meeting*	*Inconvenience ourselves to receive God's love, to be broken open, to be obedient to God's call*

The queries I shared

What new ministries or new messages are emerging, or are struggling to emerge in the meeting? Who is carrying them? Are the Friends who resist the new Light being held in Love? How ready is the meeting to outgrow its old skin? Can the meeting allow its members to grow beyond the abilities and even the identity or culture of the meeting? What would help?

What ministries have long-time Friends brought into the current life of the meeting? What of their Light and spiritual gifts still needs attention and nurture? Can the meeting live into the tension between supporting the emerging ministries and laying down the ones that may be outliving their usefulness, and can that be done with compassion and care for all involved? Can the meeting embrace both fresh and “institutionalized” perspectives, allowing each to inform the other? Does the meeting grieve together what was, in fair balance with rejoicing what is being birthed?

What would it mean if we saw Quakers as one family? How do we wish to treat our younger and older brothers and sisters? Do we feel like we belong to one another, that we belong to God? What would help?

If your meeting and you heard that Quakerism offers you and the meeting more than what you and the meeting are currently experiencing, would you be interested? Would your meeting be interested? When has God called you to be More than Who You Are, and to what extent were you able to live into that call? Are you willing to let go of “your version” of Quakerism to discover how else the Spirit is moving through Friends?

As always, thanks for reading me.

Blessings,
Liz

An impermeable seal

2010-06-20T21:02:00.000-07:00

For the past few weeks, I've been reading Fit for Freedom, Not for Friendship, a few pages a day.

One of the things that struck me from the first two chapters was that, for the most part, during the time of slavery, American Quakers of European descent were not that different from their non-Quaker American counterparts. Just a handful of individual Quakers, it turns out, were the ones who were taking radical steps to draw attention to the evil and harm of enslaving other human beings. Most Quakers back then had the privilege to "look the other way" or could say they were against slavery but wouldn't necessarily take action that reflected what they professed.

I am also struck by how there are sufferings in the world today--injustices to GLBTQ people, to people of color, to people who live in poverty--and how few Quakers (and non-Quakers) are taking radical steps to draw attention to these injustices.

And I, a person of privilege because of the color of my skin, my education, and my financial status, also have the privilege to look the other way--because the situation is overwhelming, because the situation is "over there," because because because.

. . . . . . . . .

The other day, Jeanne and I began seam-sealing the new tent we got, since the first new tent we just got leaked during the rain we had while camping recently. I'm amazed by how the seam-sealer works: it creates a rubberized, impermeable seal. It reminds me of the yellow slickers that we had as kids...

I've been thinking that in some ways, having the privilege that I have is like having an impermeable seal around me--so impermeable that it keeps God out too. So today I've been particularly grateful for the worship community I'm a part of because somehow, when I'm with them and we are worshiping, the Light of God seems to be able to sear through that otherwise impermeable coating, and I feel like I can take on a bit of what would likely be for me "inconvenient" radical activity.

O God, how I need your help to burn away the seam sealer.

Blessings,
Liz

On Being A Quaker - an upcoming presentation

2010-06-20T07:31:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

This coming Friday, I will present a two-hour session to a Fallsington Friends in Pennsylvania. These Friends had had a discussion earlier this spring about some of what was written in a recent Quaker Life magazine, about "old and new kinds of Quakers. That discussion set off a larger conversation--something I learned about when I participated in the QUIP conference last spring.

Way opened for me to share my own journey around this sort of topic with these Friends. Here's a brief write up of what I'll be focusing on:

On Being A Quaker
Friday evening, June 25, 2010
7:00-9:00 pm.

"Dear Friends, watch over one another in love, and stir up that which is pure in one another, and exhort one another daily." —G. Fox, Epistle 22 [Thanks, Mark!]

Our peculiar faith tradition shifts and morphs over the generations as we listen for God, resist the temptations of secular society, and rediscover the principles of Love, faithfulness, and witness that guided early Friends. This two-hour session will invite us to consider how we as Friends belong to one another and to Quakerism, regardless of how long we have been among Friends.

I'd appreciate prayers for faithful service and staying open to whatever it is that God may give me to share.

Blessings,
Liz

Spiritual loneliness

2010-06-17T07:22:00.000-07:00

I was surprised to see it's been three weeks since I last posted something.... but then again, two out of those three weeks I was traveling.

I attended a Quaker wedding out of state--a trip that included a ferry ride across Lake Michigan--and then a week-long camping trip that turned soggy at the start but ended up with fun fellowship in a cabin "up north."

Now I'm back home, briefly, before I head out again to visit family and do a short presentation on "the old and new kinds of Quakers."

But in-between these recent travels, I've had a bit of malaise settle in my heart. Some of it, I sense, has to do with laying down my participation in Facebook: while the choice has given me time to dedicate to reading Fit for Freedom, Not for Friendship, as well as to considering other Quaker-related opportunities, the choice has also separated me from the ongoing exchanges among Quaker and non-Quaker friends.

This spiritual loneliness is something that visits me from time to time.

It settles on my shoulders and in the pit of my stomach when I am away for too long from the community that reflects myself back to me. With my recent and upcoming travels, I've been able to attend my local Meeting for Worship only about twice in eight weeks; and for the first time since 1995, I won't be attending the FGC Gathering this summer.

I chalk up this sense of deep loneliness to my being a twin, that without people around me who can mirror myself back to me, I start to feel a bit lost. Maybe this is a phenomenon that others experience as well; maybe it's part of the human condition. In any event, what's a bit different about the feeling at this time, though, is that I am recognizing it and I am conscientiously doing what I can to tend to my connection with God, despite my less frequent face-to-face connections with people in my own community.

....which reminds me: I've got a few phone calls I said I'd make this morning.

Thanks for reading me.

Blessings,
Liz

My long overdue commitment to QuakerQuaker

2010-05-25T12:09:00.000-07:00

Here in Minnesota, the Public Radio station has added a feature to its annual (feels like monthly!) membership drive:

They now encourage listeners and members who might renew their membership to become "sustaining members" of the station, which means that the listener signs up for monthly automatic withdrawals--which in turn allows MPR to predict more confidently how much money will be coming in on a monthly basis.

Plus, the way that MPR has their drive set up is, that the more sustaining members they get during the drive, the fewer number of hours they spend on the air hounding listeners for new members!*

It's that sort of thinking that led me to consider stepping up my commitment to QuakerQuaker and push the "Donate" button on the homepage. And not just to donate one smallish amount of money, but to click on the other link, the one that's easy to skip, about donating $10 every month--just below the "Donate" button.

Here's the thing:

When I clicked the button, I was sent me to a page that looks nothing at all like QuakerQuaker. If I didn't know that there was a "man behind the curtain" by the name of Martin Kelley, I probably would've thought I was sent to the wrong place, or maybe that it wasn't legit.

Don't be fooled: if you've never met, emailed, chatted, webcammed, or workshopped with Martin Kelley, chances are you know someone who has. Heck, since you're reading The Good Raised Up, there's your one degree of separation... and I think I can say I've done ALL of those activities with the guy. (He's on my short list to design a website for me if/when I get to that point...)

Well, I kinda chuckle at the idea of QuakerQuaker doing something as obnoxious as a membership drive, where, for a week at a time in the dead of winter, automated messages are sent every hour to our inboxes. And on the QQ site itself, every 45 minutes a pop-up window appears, with some talking head to promote the newest feature of QQ, or the most fascinating blog-post that all Convergent and non-Convergent Friends alike simply MUST read...

And if you donate now, you can receive one of these two great Thank You gifts: You can have an autographed copy of Martin Kelley's

Quaker Ranter Reader

or you can have an autographed copy of the Quaker blog reader,

Writing Cheerfully on the Web

Don't delay: Donate now!

But rather than suggest to Martin that he do something as obnoxious as a membership drive to increase his revenue stream--while simultaneously diminishing the effectiveness of the social network that is QuakerQuaker, I thought I'd testify here as to how much better I feel, knowing that I'm supporting someone to carry out the ministry he's been given--all through the simple click of a single button (followed by a few more simple clicks...) that was long overdue.

Blessings,
Liz

*Well, this might not be accurate, but it comes close to what the station has done in the recent past...

Look for this box on the right-hand sidebar of QuakerQuaker, about halfway down the homepage. (The image here is NOT an active link, fyi.)

RELATED MATERIAL:

The QuakerQuaker carnival: a series of individual Quaker bloggers writing about their appreciation for Martin and for QuakerQuaker

My own appreciation as part of the QQ carnival

Fear in the face of God's bidding

2010-05-20T07:21:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I offered the second in a series of workshops intended to raise seed money for bringing "bigger and better" workshops to the midwestern part of the U.S. The first workshop generated some new thinking and new materials for me, and the comments from participants were very encouraging.

I called the second workshop Fear Factor: Getting Out of Our Own Way. In hindsight, if I had it all over to do again, I'd change the title of the workshop to Fear in the Face of God's Bidding, because that's what the meat of my remarks were about.

I started the workshop last Saturday with the premise that there are a few basic reasons why we get in our own way--out of pride, ego, a fear of losing control; shame, fear of being successful, etc. From there, I had us consider a few questions:

1. What keeps us in our own way? What are the fears that keep us from surrendering to God's guidance?

2. How do we get out of own way? What do we have to do and how do we go about doing it?

3. Once we get out of our own way, where are we headed?

We did a bit of sharing about our own stories, about how fear has impacted our ability to be faithful. Since each participant was in a different place in her or his understanding and practice of what it means to be faithful, I was challenged to find a way to move us through the material at a pace everyone could appreciate.

It seemed as though what Friends appreciated the most were the long quotations that I shared, including the dreams that impacted early Quaker David Ferris. I lifted him up in particular because he's a wonderful example of what it's like to resist God's call! We modern Friends need more examples of what it's like to be a flawed vessel--and the story of James Nayler is a bit over the top, whereas David Ferris' experience is more akin to what many of us experience. At one point, for example, there is a reference to his being given a message to share in worship and his reluctance to give it because "a man of some note was sitting before me, which increased my reluctance to speak. I supposed he would not be present at the next meeting [for worship]..." (p. 51) How many of us convince ourselves not to share a message at worship "just because"?!

In addition to Ferris, I shared George Fox's Epistle X (at the end of this post), especially to point out that his instruction relates closely to how we get out of our own way. After some discussion and reflection on what it means to "stand still in the Light and submit to it" as well as times when the Light can be piercing and not just comforting, I gave us some time to think of what "trouble" it is that sometimes visits us--fear of letting go, the temptation to blame or shame another, the cruel self-talk and unhelpful second-guessing we engage in--and then I asked us to spend some time holding ourselves in the Light.

The quality of stillness and warmth in the room during and just after that exercise was palpable. After several minutes, it took quite a few verbal prompts from me to get the participants fully present once again. Such a simple activity that can restore us to God's love and grace, yet we partake of it so seldom!

We then spent a few minutes talking about "where we're headed" once we get out of our way and how the two questions--How do we get out out of our own way? and Where are we headed?--can be interrelated. We agreed that we're headed out of our own way and into God's Way, into the Stream, into Gospel Order. But then we had to answer for ourselves what we meant by that.

In particular, we spent time talking about Gospel Order and why contemporary Liberal Friends have, in a way, forsaken it, due to America's love of individualism, capitalism, consumerism, and more.

What surprised me the most, though, was the conversation that emerged when I shared a bit of Margaret Fell's writing. Friends especially liked the last two phrases of this excerpt:

…[If] thou wait in the Light of God in thee and be obedient to it, when it checks and calls and crosses thy own fleshly will, which is an enemy to it, and be low and watchful, and mind that which keeps thy peace, and it will show thee what brings trouble. And it will let thee see the truth of these things which thou never saw, and it will come near to thee in judgment, and raise up the witness in thee. . . And it will lead thee to another kingdom which is not of this world, which is righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Ghost. And then thou wilt see the vanity, and emptiness of these vanishing things, which all the world is busying themselves about.(p. 11, emphasis added)

The most senior Friend among our small group remarked how surprised she was that "even back then," Quakers were concerned about the petty, insignificant things that they and others were busying themselves with. They maybe didn't have iPods and smart phones, but they still had to make choices about how to live their lives as faithful servants.

It wasn't easy work back then and it isn't easy work for any of us now.

At the end of our time together, I summarized the four responses we had talked about, regarding the fear to do God's bidding:

1. We could take the long way around the fear, as modeled by David Ferris' 15-20 year journey to be faithful to God's call.

2. We could take the hard way, as in "The only way out is through"--what Marty Grundy points out that early Friends called the "refiner's fire."

3. We could engage in a slower, perhaps more gentle way of coping with our fear and resistance by acknowledging if we aren't willing to be faithful just yet, perhaps we could be willing to be willing to yield, in time.

4. Or we could take what I think of as the most loving way through the fear: To hold ourselves in the Light, open ourselves to God's Love, and wait for mercy to come in.

Blessings,
Liz

______________

George Fox's Epistle X. (10) To Friends, to stand still in trouble, and see the strength of the Lord

Friends, Whatever ye are addicted to, the tempter will come in that thing; and when he can trouble you, then he gets advantage over you, and then ye are gone. Stand still in that which is pure, after ye see yourselves; and then mercy comes in. After thou seest thy thoughts, and the temptations, do not think, but submit; and then power comes. Stand still in that which shows and discovers; and there doth strength immediately come. And stand still in the light, and submit to it, and the other will be hushed and gone; and then content comes. And when temptations and troubles appear, sink down in that which is pure, and all will be hushed, and fly away. Your strength is to stand still, after ye see yourselves; whatsoever ye see yourselves addicted to, temptations, corruption, uncleanness, etc., then ye think ye shall never overcome. And earthly reason will tell you, what ye shall lose; hearken not to that, but stand still in the light that shows them to you, and then strength comes from the Lord, and help contrary to your expectation. Then ye grow up in peace, and no trouble shall move you. David fretted himself, when he looked out; but when he was still, no trouble could move him. When your thoughts are out, abroad, then troubles move you. But come to stay your minds upon that spirit which was before the letter; here ye learn to read the scriptures aright. If ye do any thing in your own wills, then ye tempt God; but stand still in that power which brings peace.

Facing White privilege: Small openings lead to larger ones

2010-05-14T18:07:00.000-07:00

Back in early April this year, a group of ten Quakers attended the annual White Privilege Conference, along with 1,700 other attenders. I am still integrating and digesting what happened there, what happened to me, and what is still happening within me.

I know that something is happening because in the five weeks or so since that conference ended, I've had a number of race-based challenges and exchanges:

I sat next to an extroverted, self-proclaimed politically Conservative White male* on a 2-1/2 hour plane ride within a week after the conference, and interrupted his racist rhetoric several times. My main tactics were to tell him that I was offended by what he was saying and to ask him "How many Mexicans/Somali/Hmong people do you know personally by name...?"
I attended an orientation on my own, about sponsoring refugee families--an orientation that the worship group was able to participate in while I was traveling out of town. This is something I would not have done on my own before the White Privilege Conference.
I'm asking people of color who are store clerks and have name tags how to pronounce their name if it's clearly not an Anglo Saxon one. I also immediately offer my own name to them.

The list goes on.....

But my intention isn't to pat myself on the back (as a White, owning class, educated person, I inadvertently do plenty of that, truly). Rather, it's that I'm marveling at how much more I am "seeing" these opportunities to interact with my brothers and sisters that probably have always been in front of me.

I'm seeing these opportunities and I'm participating in them.

Quakers often talk and write about how, when we are faithful in following the small nudges we are given, we are being prepared to follow the larger, more burdensome leadings down the road. This feels similar: now that I've stepped through some small opening about facing my White privilege, I'm being given more opportunities, more openings, to continue to do so.

Blessings,
Liz

*I realize not all White men who are politically conservative are racist.

P.S. The 2011 White Privilege Conference is planned to be held in a near-suburb of Minneapolis. w00t w00t!

Dirty Words in Modern-Day Quakerism

2010-05-02T12:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I convened a small group of Friends for the first workshop in a series to raise money to bring notable Quaker presenters to the midwest. The workshop was called Dirty Words in Modern-Day Quakerism and was intended to identify words and practices that seem to be dismissed or underappreciated by Friends today.

The challenge for me as the facilitator was to create a process that would allow participants to reflect on why certain Quaker terms, concepts, or practices left a bad taste in their mouth and then move them towards considering those same things in a new light.

To start us off, after opening worship and introductions, we spent some time talking initially about how the meanings of words change over time in the first place. I broke it down into four steps:

NAME - the word itself, usually with a neutral meaning or positive intention.

STAIN - a distorted understanding or a negative meaning is attached to the word, usually the result of power, schisms, stereotypes, pain, etc.

REFRAME - a new or renewed understanding is attached to the word. Often the negative meaning is removed and substituted with something neutral or positive.

RECLAIM - the new/renewed understanding is integrated into language, behaviors, attitudes, etc. and there is a reengagement of the original word.

Then I read aloud a list of Quaker-related terms, a good many of which are also steeped in the Christian tradition. I asked Friends to identify one or two words from that list which repulsed them. After sharing those words, and before we got into any discussion about the "stain" or personal baggage that led to their rejection, I asked Friends to pair up and focus on one of the words that had been raised. Each pair then worked together to come up with as neutral a definition as possible about that word. In the remaining time, the pairs talked with each other about what had happened in their life that wrought some negativity to the word or that led them to reject it.

Back in the large group, each pair shared the definition for the word they had worked with, along with why the word had become "stained" for them: corporate, salvation, perfection, authority, etc. I think people appreciated having the chance to say some of these pieces aloud and be witnessed in their discomfort and pain around them.

Immediately after that sharing, I asked the pairs to reconvene themselves and spend some time in worship around the word they had worked with, allowing the Light and the Spirit to work on their hearts and to listen and watch for what maybe was the original meaning of the word--the meaning that existed before the stain had occurred, before any personal baggage had attached itself to the word...

And then I asked them, in their pairs, to rewrite the definition.

When we came back to the group, we shared that new understanding--that reframe--and had a conversation about the insights that such a simple exercise had provided. We drifted into looking at other words and topics, too: discipline, evangelize, obedience...

I'll have to revise the list if I offer the workshop again. Other words that we mentioned that aren't currently there are: sin, fundamentalist, and Liberal Friend.

Over the course of the day, we talked about the in-creeping of the secular world into our faith tradition, which also contributes to the staining of certain Quaker concepts. And we reflected a bit on how much to "explain" to other Friends what we mean as we ourselves reclaim some of this language while other Friends are still repelled by it.

In turn, that led to a short conversation about our spiritual development as Friends and how many of us are moving from being a "spiritual refugee"--running from a religious tradition--to being a "spiritual citizen"--consciously moving into, adopting, and integrating a new faith tradition for ourselves.

Towards the end, I spoke a bit more about the subtle difference I've experienced between reframing and reclaiming the words and practices that I had discarded; and we looked again at the list of "words that may cause unease," this time allowing for a Q and A session in case there were words that Friends weren't familiar with in the Quaker vernacular--which there were!

Given that I continue to carry a concern for how we convey our faith to one another and what it is that sustains us in our faith, I felt this was a good next step toward deepening our corporate understanding of Quakerism. Each of the participants mentioned that they had gotten something useful out of our time together, for which I'm glad.

Next up is in two weeks, another workshop for the Seed Series, called Fear Factor: Getting Out of Our Own Way. I've barely begun to think about the sorts of activities and handouts to use but I'm looking forward to what develops!

Blessings,
Liz

P.S. These workshops and the work I'm doing to coordinate local and regional presentations is a growing part of what I am calling my work as a Quaker resource coordinator in the midwestern United States. I'd love to hear from you if you want to offer a workshop in this part of the country or if you have ideas of who I can invite here for a presentation.

QUIP Conference 2010

2010-04-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

A number of months ago, I saw on Facebook an announcement about the annual QUIP conference (Quakers Uniting In Publications). I noticed that the theme of this particular conference was "Journals to Blogosphere," and despite already having two Quaker-related events penned in my calendar for that particular weekend, I could not deny the familiar pull in my gut that indicated God was speaking to me:

You need to be here.According to its website, QUIP is "an international network of Quaker booksellers - authors - publishers concerned with the ministry of the written word."

I found that to be true.

(It would have had a more international flavor had a certain volcano not interrupted flights out of Europe during the week. QUIP still managed to provide a bit of internationality: There was at least one Friend each from Canada, Bolivia, and Kenya, plus a State-side transplanted Brit.)

Among the people and presenters there, I was especially delighted by Tom Hamm's presentation on the history of Quakers and publishing; Brent Bill's remarks about the "trajectory of Truth-telling" in the age of blogs, e-books, and online presses; and Wess Daniels' interest group on Convergent Friends.

There was also an evening panel of three bloggers, including Yours Truly, Martin Kelley (the Friend behind QuakerQuaker), and Sarah Hoggatt.

(You know you've been around for a while as a blogger when another blogger tells you, yes she knows about QuakerQuaker but no, she doesn't know who Martin Kelley is.)

Another major accomplishment that held my attention throughout the four-and-a-half-day conference was the release of the amazing international youth book project, Spirit Rising. Since this QUIP Conference marked the book's release, there was a tremendous presence of young adult Friends there, including the entire 10-member editorial board, plus a few contributors to the book.

Below are my own reflections and record of some of what happened at this year's QUIP Conference.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It's been a few weeks since I've been among Quakers in a Quaker setting. I've not even been able to attend a weekly Meeting for Worship for the past four or five weeks. I went to the Midyear Meeting of Iowa Yearly Meeting (Conservative) in late March, got sick at the very end of the weekend, and fell too far behind to write anything about Bill Deutsch's remarks on living with gratitude. Maybe that theme is enough for Friends to consider and doesn't require a blog post of personal reflections...?

About a week later, a handful of Friends attended the White Privilege Conference in southwestern Wisconsin, but even then we struggled to find a time and place to allow for worship and fellowship together.

So when I saw five familiar Quaker faces in the small Dayton, Ohio airport last Wednesday afternoon on my way to QUIP directly from my grandmother's funeral, I felt as if I was taking a good long drink at the well. It was a drink that was to be the first of many that I experienced at my inaugural QUIP Conference.

In the filled-to-capacity 8-person van that would take us to the Quaker Hill Conference Center in Richmond, Indiana, I spoke with Nancy Haines of Vintage Quaker Books and another Friend from Wellesley Friends Meeting in Massachusetts. We talked easily of the writing we're each doing, which led to tangents about family, early Quakers, and challenges in our meetings.

"I like this crowd already," I thought to myself. "We're talking about our Quaker lives, our struggles, our calls to ministry..."

Thomas Hamm

That first night, immediately after a homemade dinner for 40, we carpooled over to Earlham School of Religion for a presentation by noted Quaker historian and scholar Thomas Hamm. His presentation focused on how Quaker publications have changed--thematically and structurally--over the course of our history as Friends.

What could have been a very dry and protracted lecture was instead a session filled with humor, warmth, and a deep love for the subject.*

Tom began by acknowledging that the history of Quakers and publishing "is in large part the history of Friends' writing and distribution of the Truth as they perceived it, with the sincerity and the conviction as they were led by the Light."

Then he expanded on three major themes that presented themselves as a form of narrative arc for Quaker publications:

Pre-1660s. Proclaiming and articulating Quaker beliefs to the world, whether as individuals or on behalf of the Religious Society of Friends. These writings and publications included materials related to doctrine; epistles; and letters of advice.

1660s-early 1900s. Engaging in controversy and actively confronting "the enemies of the Truth"--that is, those religious groups and other institutions that took issue with Friends. As Tom put it, "No attack should go unanswered," and Quakers back then made sure no attack did. Tom then added that Friends' answer to an attack was "often in the most vituperative way possible."

During this period of growth, there was a span of eight years when Quakers published 300 books and tracts, averaging about a book a month--mostly written by George Fox. In addition to responding to attacks, Tom explained, the letters, books, and tracts put out by Friends were also distributed to advise, exhort, uplift, and inspire those who received the writings.

The written act of "engaging in controversy" expands into the historic separations among Friends. Tom described how the start of of the information revolution and industrialization allowed for Friends to increase the volume of pages printed and distributed, due to the invention of the steam-powered printing press. Printing jumped from 200 pages per hour to 4,000-5,000 pages per hour.

And so with the ease and lowered cost of printing, the newer printing press facilitated in some way the theological separations that had already begun to emerge among Friends.

It was not lost on me how this new "information revolution" that we are currently involved in is also allowing for increased distribution of writings via blogs, online presses, and the like. Not to mention video, podcasts, Twitter, etc. And I also find it fascinating to consider that these increased communications today may be helping mend the original schisms that were accelerated by what was then cutting-edge technology...

Late 19th century-20th century. Tom says it was this period that brought Quaker writers and poets into the mix, whose purpose for writing was to entertain. He listed Philip Gulley and alluded to the Harmony series; Jessamyn West; and poet John Greenleaf Whittier.

I think a number of us wanted Tom to comment on and speculate about the 21st century, but he left that for Brent Bill to address later in the week.

Panel of Bloggers

The next night, after a full day of workshops, interest groups, and meeting for worship for business, QUIP gathered again, this time to hear from three Quaker bloggers about that particular form of publishing.

The exciting thing for me, as one of the panelists, was that one of the main conference planners, Stephen Dotson, had set up equipment to arrange for Martin Kelley to be "web-cammed" into the panel. So Martin was projected onto the wall behind where the other panelists were--the other panelists being Sarah Hoggatt (from Walking the Sea) and myself. At the same time, there was a computer in front of the panel, so Sarah and I could view Martin directly in front of us, and vice versa. The one minor setback was that Martin couldn't see the audience unless the computer with the webcam was made to do a 360--which it was, at one point.

Based on a few questions that Stephen had given us ahead of time, we introduced ourselves. Here were some of the talking points:

Why should Friends care about blogging or the blogosphere?
How do you sift through the massive amounts of information and find the gold amidst the noise and overload of the blogosphere?
How do you relate your blogging to your spiritual life and practice?

The discussion is pretty much a blur for me, much like any of us feel sometimes after we've spoken out of the silence during Meeting for Worship: it's hard to recall the particulars!

Some themes did come up, either through our own back-and-forth or drawn out by the questions that Friends asked. They included blogs as outreach and ministry; walking the line between sharing openly about an experience and keeping that experience strictly private--along with considering the privacy of others; the individuality of the internet; the anonymity of the internet and the interpersonal connections that blogging and social media can foster, especially in light of a yearning and willingness to be Known by one another; the growth of the Quaker blogosphere and how such growth has changed that sense of interconnectedness; the impact of Facebook on blogging...

I particularly liked a few of the questions that gave me something to think about more deeply.

One was about whether or not bloggers "fact checked" their posts, or how such fact-checking might happen. I was pleased to have remarked about the presence of at least two Friends with experience in blogging who seem very capable in helping in that arena!

Another question was about the extent we considered the privacy of another person before we would start writing about an event or interaction in which that person (or persons) might be involved. That was the question that led us as a panel to talk a bit more about being "public Friends," being modern-day publishers of the Truth, anonymity on the internet, and being transparent both in our meetings and online.

What I didn't say at the time but I'm thinking about now is that what we were talking about, in a way, was the concept of spiritual maturity: As we grow into our Quakerism, we may likely become less concerned about being asked permission to quote us or write about one another in our blogs, because we are becoming more concerned about being faithful to God's leadings and acting out of Love as much as possible.

The last question that caught most of us off-guard, I think, was about the change in how we might experience Spirit--or if we actually do experience the Spirit--when we are communicating through disembodied means, when we are physically removed from one another and the message is conveyed electronically and instantly, rather than through handwritten letters, voice-to-voice calls, person-to-person meet-ups over a meal.

The answer to that particular question will likely have to be lived out, just as early Friends had to find their way to stay in touch with one another--to exhort, advise, uplift, and inspire--as they left their homes to travel in the ministry, or were jailed for their bearing witness to the Truth.

Black Fire

A new anthology of writings by Friends and friends of Friends who are African American is due out in February 2011. It's called BLACK FIRE: Black Quakers on Spirituality and Human Rights. The book is being edited by Hal Weaver, Stephen Angell, and Paul Kriese.

Black Fire includes the poetry, essays, and other writings of U.S. Black Quakers, and Black friends of Quakers, from colonial times forward, though not quite into current times. The writings address Friends and race, Friends and religion, and Friends and human rights. The idea behind the book was to highlight those voices that went missing, even though "silence should liberate, not oppress," as Paul explained during the workshop.

Here is a list of who is likely to be included in the anthology:

Benjamin Banneker
William Boen
Paul Cuffe
"Elizabeth"
Sojourner Truth
Sarah Mapps Douglass
Robert Purvis
Jean Toomer
Howard Thurman
Ira DeAugustine Reid
Barrington Dunbar
Helen Morgan Brooks
Bayard Rustin
Mahala Ashley Dickerson
Bill Sutherland
Charles Nichols
George Sawyer
Vera Green

The hope is that Black Fire will both stand on its own as an anthology as well as be a companion book to Fit for Freedom, Not for Friendship. As one of the editors mentioned during QUIP, "This book tells a story that needs to be told by those who need to tell it."

Spirit Rising

This book is impressive.

It leaves an impression on your hands as you hold it.

It leaves an impression in your mind, in your heart, and in your soul as you turn its pages and imagine the young African Friend, the distant Norwegian Friend, the GLBT Friend, the evangelical Friend...

At QUIP, the editorial board shared a bit of their challenges to work together, across cultures, continents, and theological differences. In some places around the world, there were no computers or typewriters. Others had to travel hundreds of miles to gather a few young Friends together for a writing workshop that maybe produced a few paragraphs...

The board members talked about the tenderness they experienced during their face-to-face gatherings: tenderness around words, beliefs, practice, and faith. Yet all of these Friends nodded their heads when one Friend noted in the report how the bond of Love transcended the tension... That and how a good run on the beach could work its own form of miracle.

I was also impressed to learn that each board member had a support person or support committee "back home"--wherever home was for each of them--and that each person was willing to engage in the hard questions that they asked one another and that were brought out in the hundreds of submissions they were considering.

In essence, these Friends were living the Convergent Conversation. They were living examples of the inner and communal work that is needed in order to mend our schisms and live and worship as one family: the Religious Society of Friends.

Brent Bill

Brent was the speaker on the last night of the QUIP Conference.** He spoke about the "trajectory of Truth-telling" and began his remarks by quoting George Fox:

I spent much time in writing for Truth's service.

Then Brent moved onto facts and figures, including:

In their first 50 years, 650 Friends (of which 82 were women) produced 3,100 titles.
Currently, Amazon.com has more than 2,000 titles about Quakers and Quakerism.
Of the top 10 Quaker titles on Amazon.com, 7 of them are by Philip Gulley.
Currently there are 137 Quaker titles on Kindle.

Brent also lifted up questions around What should we write? and How should we write?

What should we write?
1. What am I called to write? What matters most to me?
2. What's needed? What do people need to hear?
3. What's wanted?
4. What do I have to offer?

How should we write?
1. Grounded in ordinary experience.
2. Grounded in personal experience.
3. Honest.
4. Revelatory of the writer: self-disclosure and specific to the writer.
5. Hospitable; providing a form of hospitality.
6. Accessible to many people, not just a few--the writing invites people in.
7. Invitational to stories and experience, to have readers think through things on their own.

In closing, Brent raised a couple of important points:

Quakers aren't doing enough to get involved in the new trend of e-commerce. We're not ramping up our book selection for Kindle, the iPad, or other book readers, so we're not keeping pace with the original call to write and publish "for Truth's service."

And:

QUIP has to look at whether it is in the book business or is it in the message business. If it's in the book business--and Brent didn't say this explicitly--then QUIP probably doesn't have many years of service left. On the other hand, if QUIP is in the get-out-the-message business, then there are many opportunities that await QUIP.

I was glad to have attended these four days with Quakers who work in publishing, who write about Quakerism, who are published authors. As I resign myself to missing all sorts of wonderful workshops in California, New England, and the Philadelphia area, I was pleased to be able to participate in an event that was a bit closer to the "breadbasket" of the U.S.

Blessings,
Liz

*The quotes I offer here are not intended to be verbatim, though I took careful notes.

**Brent has posted most of the slides from his Powerpoint presentation as a video, but be sure to have your cursor floating over the Pause button: you'll need time to read through everything.

RELATED POSTS:

Sarah Hoggatt has a number of photos on her blog Walking the Sea.

Martin Kelley writes about his experience at the 2004 QUIP Conference. His post includes a number of photos too.

Liz Yeats has added a few photos and reflections on her blog One Friend Among Friends.

Nancy Thomas has written up her thoughts on her blog Mil Gracias.

Goodbye Baltimore at One Hundred and Four

2010-04-20T06:19:00.000-07:00

My grandmother Sara Lichtenstein Goldberg died Friday morning, April 16. She was 104. When my mom, her daughter, asked me if I wanted to say anything during the funeral, I quietly said Yes, I do.

I felt immediately as if God had given me something to say. It went something like this:

After a conversation with my brother Alan, I understood more deeply how we all have our different experiences with Grandma. And we need all our stories about Grandma in order to make her whole. What I'm about to share is my story about her, and there'll be other stories we'll tell.

My story isn't so much about the woman who was my grandmother as much as it is about the lessons I learned from her about forgiveness and reconciliation in God.

As a child who visited Grandma and Grandpa a few times a year, I watched as Grandma argued--some might say they were spirited discussions--with her brothers, my mother, my uncle Saul. I watched and I understood: this is how she creates connections to people in the family, through arguments and fighting.

As a young adult, I saw how my mother Helene persevered through all those arguments, staying connected to Grandma by regular visits to Baltimore and through daily phone calls. The older my grandmother got, the more frequent the calls, sometimes two, three, or more times during the day. I watched how my mother chose to stay connected, despite the anger and bitterness my grandmother expressed.

Also as Grandma got older, my two brothers and I started calling her at least once a month.

About three years ago, Grandma stopped taking my calls.

I didn't know why, and Grandma didn't say. But each time I called, imaging that her anger toward me had passed, her caregiver Sandra would answer the phone, say to my grandmother, "It's your granddaughter Elizabeth..." And I would hear her say, "No, I don't want to talk to her. I'm angry with her, I'm not going to talk with her."

And that would be that, until the next month when I would call again.

I never did find out directly from Grandma what angered her so, and my calls because less frequent.

During that time, I understood how other family members, relatives, and friends were cast off by Grandma. I think most people just gave up. But for me, because I had witnessed my mother's perseverance, I wanted to be reconciled somehow with Grandma.

I changed my strategy, and I asked my two brothers and my mother to start inserting into their conversations with her that I was seeking forgiveness from her. I also called Grandma as Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement, was approaching in 2008. I think on that day, she took my call:

Grandma, it's Yom Kippur and I'm calling to ask you to forgive me. I know I've angered you and upset you, and I'm sorry for that. I'm asking for forgivness...

She said she would think about it.

From time to time, my mom would tell me, "She's still thinking about it but she's not ready yet."

So.

Here are the lessons I've learned through my relationship with Grandma.

1. God does not command us to be unhappy.

2. When I detach in anger, and when I stay disconnected, I lose the opportunity to reconcile with the other person.

3. When I stay emotionally connected--despite the anger, hurt, bitterness, and pain--I allow God the chance to work through us, to work through me. God has the chance to help us be reconciled to one another.

4. We can be leaven to one another, helping lift up the Spirit of God in each other and lighten one another's burdens.

5. We can choose love when there is pain. Difficult as that is at times, we can choose love.

Blessings,
Liz

Excerpt from a letter about racism

2010-04-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months, some of my first cousins and I have reconnected over Facebook. We weren't close growing up, maybe because the few times a year when we saw each other, our parents fought bitterly with each other. As a family, connection happened through arguments, raised voices, and mutually inflicted hurt feelings. As a child, to resist the impulse to take on the same behavior was a challenge, and having no other alternative modeled for me, I stayed fairly disconnected from that side of the family.

My maternal grandmother is still alive, at 104. I think it's her anger, bitterness, and resentment that keeps her blood pumping, but she's incredibly lonely...

Last week I returned from the White Privilege Conference, a four-day event where white people and people of color learn about the dynamics of internalized and institutionalized white privilege. And two days after returning, I saw something one of my cousins posted on Facebook, a joke about "rednecks."

If anything was reinforced for me during the Conference, it was that I have been protected too long by my white owning-class privilege.

And because one of the new behaviors I am consciously working on since the Conference is to see all women and men as my sisters and brothers in a world that needs healing, I took a stand.

I sent my cousin a message, letting him know my response to his words.

My very socially liberal, politically progressive cousin wrote back a longer response, which included a few sentiments all too familiar in our supposedly well-intentioned predominantly white middle-class society:

You're too sensitive.
I was just being funny.
These sorts of comments are out in the world, on TV, on the radio all the time. No one complains about those programs and no one has yanked them off the air.
All of us are poked fun at...

I took a lot of deep breaths and ended up writing an even longer reply.

But the part of my own reply that I hope he'll respond to with an open heart is this:

As a Quaker, I understand the value of "laboring" with each other. It's different from the sort of arguing that I grew up with in the Oppenheimer/Goldberg households, though.

Laboring involves listening for the truth and authenticity that each person is wanting to express, and being less willing to take an aggressive or defensive position. Through laboring together, each person usually comes away changed a little bit, while also willing to stay engaged in the relationship--in the moment as well as over time.

Arguing was, for me, more about working hard to get my own point across and not caring for whatever point it is that the other person wants to make. Arguing was more saying whatever came to mind, with a willingness to hurt the other person and with less regard for the nurture or even survival of the relationship.

Our grandmother, I think, has argued far more than she has labored.

You and I, I think, are a bit closer to laboring with each other but we're not quite there. Or at least, that's how I see it.

As I reflect on my exchange with my cousin, and while I await his next response, I'm remembering that laboring with one another starts with and is grounded in the motion of love.

Thanks for reading me.

Blessings,
Liz

UPDATE, 26 Fourth Month 2010: My grandmother passed away less than a week after I posted this piece.

Two workshops in May 2010

2010-03-30T07:25:00.000-07:00

Every now and then, I get the itch to create and present a workshop for area Quakers that I hope will join us together in a fun and fruitful way.

When I add to that a desire to find ways to generate funds to bring to my part of the country a prominent Quaker presenter or a notable workshop that goes beyond an introductory session about Quakerism, well, that just makes me all the more eager to get going.

Since last fall, I've been working with a clearness committee around short- and long-term plans to help transform Minnesota into a destination for Quaker presenters and not just a fly-over zone.

Ideally, these two workshops are the first of a series to raise seed money to be put toward Quaker presenters with some name recognition.

Dirty Words in Modern Day Quakerism
May 1st, 2010

Eldering.
Discipline.
Authority.
Obedience.

In this workshop, we’ll identify words and practices that seem to be dismissed or underappreciated by Friends today. We’ll dig into some historical and contemporary examples of those practices and explore the merit—or lack thereof—of reclaiming them for ourselves as modern-day Friends.

To register, or for more information about Dirty Words, click here.

Fear Factor: Getting Out of Our Own Way
May 15, 2010

Clerking.
Speaking up.
Offering vocal ministry.
Seeking membership.

In this workshop, we’ll look at what Friends today seem most afraid of pursuing. Through hands-on activities, answering queries, and worship sharing, we’ll learn how we get in our own way—and consider how to get out of it so we may be better prepared to serve the meeting, the wider community, and God.

To register, or for more information about Fear Factor, click here.

Blessings,
Liz

Job application for Faithful servant

2010-03-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

NOTE TO READERS

What started off as a fun idea for a blog post downshifted into a somewhat depressing and revealing exercise for me: There is so much more I could be doing if I were truly yearning and striving to be a faithful servant.

Maybe I'm merely worried about being a "good enough" Quaker and not putting enough attention or energy into being a true servant of the Spirit. Or maybe my few moments of deep faithfulness, humble obedience, and feeling well used are enough to sustain me in my life as a Friend.

Blessings,
Liz

CAREER OBJECTIVE:
To engage in activities where I feel well used and that help me feel good about my relationship with God and about myself as the result of faithful service.

EDUCATION IN FAITH BUILDING:
Dutiful participation in the Jewish faith.
Birth-1986

Hebrew classes at synagogue; Bat-Mitzvahed in 1975.
Voluntarily attended High Holy Day services during college.
Visited ill grandparents, even the miserable ones.
Called my mother each week while I was in college and after I had moved out of the house.
Looked for the afikomen during large Passover seders, despite the likelihood I wouldn't find it.

Crisis of faith.
1982, 1997

Blamed God after significant friendships fell apart.
Bargained with God, despite pain and anguish. Remained a believer.
Made peace with God.

Active participation in a number of Quaker communities.
1993-present

Committee service.
Some travel among Quakers in Canada and the U.S. to learn how other Quakers "do" Quakerism. Observed how some Quaker meetings keep Divine Principle at its center, while others allow for fair amount of secularism.
Pastoral care and spiritual challenges brought to me through care-and-accountability committee.
Extended myself to support a friend who was headed for homelessness; helped him maintain sense of dignity as well as practical help until his situation stabilized.

EXPERIENCE:

My "John Woolman moment": As a pre-schooler, courageously told my mother I had used magic marker to draw on kitchen floor. Felt awful for an eternity and now always place additional paper under tip of marker when using a Sharpie.
Convincement: As a college student, after questioning a series of coincidences that had occurred, involving a depressing morning and an unexpected visit by a friend, and came to believe that God had led me to that point for a reason.
Obedience: Without a job lined up and no practical rationale, moved halfway across the country immediately after college, because God told me to.
Deepening the well: Speak with those new to Quakerism about basic traditions and practices. Remind current Friends of value of practices that appear to be falling away. Offer to lead Adult Education sessions. Communicate with Quakers who live elsewhere and practice Quakerism differently from me.
Pray and listen. Listen and pray.

REFERENCES:

The teenage young woman whom I met out of the blue eight years ago when God told me at the last possible moment, "Get thee up and drive to thy yearly meeting session!"

The woman roommate I had immediately after college.

The Friends with whom I worship and whose buttons I push because I talk so much about God at the center, and Love as the guiding Principle.

Eggs, the roller derby, and hewing broken cisterns

2010-03-09T10:22:00.000-08:00

This past First Day, after a few months of planning, the worship group hosted visitors from Decorah Meeting, part of Iowa Yearly Meeting (Conservative).

We've been experimenting with how to incorporate Adult Education into our First Day routine, using a short piece from Scripture or from Quaker writings as a prompt for discussion. This time, after greetings and introductions, we started with a piece from Britain Yearly Meeting's Faith & Practice about being good plumbers and helping ensure a clear channel for the Living Water. Then we were asked to reflect on the reading.

What I remember is the verse from Scripture that opened the F&P excerpt:

For My people have committed two evils:
They have forsaken Me,
the fountain of living waters,
to hew for themselves cisterns,
broken cisterns that can hold no water.
Jeremiah 2:13 (New American Standard Bible)

As others began sharing their own reflections on being spiritual plumbers, I found myself thinking back to where I was the night before:

At the roller derby.

A group of friends that we've been getting to know through watching movies together had invited us to go and, to make a long story short, let's just say I agreed to go with Jeanne on that particular night and leave it at that.

The "legendary" arena where the event was held was sold out. Our friends and the two of us got free T-shirts and light sticks. I won a high-tech thermos by answering a trivia question about coffee. Another friend won a nice hooded sweatshirt. The music was loud; our friends and thousands of fans were yelling nearly the entire time. There were flashing lights and zealous announcers whose play-by-play calls echoed thunderously in the room.

And there were the rollergirls. Very hippy, very aggressive, very agile rollergirls, some of whom fell pretty hard while skating around what amounts to the same sort of short track that Olympian Apolo Anton Ohno excels on. But roller derbys are not held on an skating rink with nice people letting you go gliding by. The sport takes place on a hardwood oval track--and it is a contact sport.

At one point, I began to wonder what I was doing there. And when half-time came, around 8:30, I realized how overstimulated and overwhelmed I was. Jeanne was worn out too, so we called it quits and headed home. I was asleep by 10:15 that night.

And now it was the next day, and I was sitting in someone's living room, a very different arena, in a much more contemplative oval. The physical contact among us that morning had been warm and hearty hugs to greet the Friends from Iowa. Instead of watching where the lead jammer was and the hustle of the derby's pack, I was thinking about broken cisterns and not being able to hold and attend to the Living Water.

I felt a pang of sadness and I immediately understood how the roller derby had been a tremendous distraction for me at a number of levels:

I was caught up with the crowd, very detached from any sense of myself, let alone the Presence.

I was focused on possessions, rushing about to collect SWAG (Stuff We All Get).

And I was enraptured by the lights, colors, and action:

I was taken out of myself in a serious way, and I knew deep within me, that I could let myself become completely immersed in the roller derby culture, to the point of ignoring any attention-getting by the still small voice that I know as God Eternal.

In our worship sharing and discussion that morning, I was aware that there were other cracks developing in my cistern, not just because of the events from the previous night.

For example, as the spring emerges, so do new opportunities for me to travel among Friends and to visit family. It is only early March, yet I already have invitations and plans to travel to two events in Iowa, one event in Michigan, one event in Oregon, and events in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, and Indiana.

More cracks in the cistern.

Am I hewing my own cistern, taking broad, rough strokes at what I think will be opportunities to help nurture me and my spiritual life as a Quaker? Have I been so quick to dig a well that I have taken little care to check how well I am digging it?

I shared all this during Adult Education, and I added that I must take care in assessing where my cracks are and what causes them. The cracks must be mended if I am to be able to hold the Living Water and be filled, renewed by the Spirit.

After we each had a chance to share our thoughts about the reading, we entered worship.

A few minutes into the settling silence, there was a soft knock at the door. The woman whose house we were worshiping in stepped outside for a moment, came back in, went into the kitchen, and emerged with three or four eggs in her hand. She disappeared into the hall for half a moment before returning to the circle.

We resettled, and my thoughts returned to broken cisterns. And eggs.

Eggs are a certain type of vessel with a gift inside, I would share during our time of reflection after worship. We cannot know the gift until the walls of the egg are cracked and the egg is cracked open. I wonder if this is the same for we humans. We have spiritual gifts within us, and sometimes we cannot know the gift until the Spirit breaks us open.

Also, I have heard it said that when there is a break in a bone, for example, when the bone is knit back together, the area of the break is stronger than it was before. Perhaps that is true for us, too. When we are broken open by the Spirit, maybe something in ourselves is made stronger because of it.

I stopped speaking just then because I thought that was all I had to say. But then it seems I was Given a bit more, and I continued:

I also believe we must be humble and keep low in order to allow ourselves to be broken open. But sometimes, at least for me, my pride tricks me into believing that I need to protect myself from certain things, and I build up my walls, shore up my shell, thinking that I am becoming a better cistern and vessel for the Spirit as a result.

In fact, pride is not the best way to prevent cracks from forming, and pride only slows the inbreaking of the Spirit. It is humility that I need and a willingness to remain vulnerable to others and to the Spirit, because the inbreaking of the Spirit often starts with these sorts of cracks. And once I am broken open, and maybe after a gift has come to light for me, then I can allow for God to help mend me, too.

So there is a rich connection for me between humility, cracks, vulnerability, and being broken open that I hadn't fully considered before.

Thanks for reading me.

Blessings,
Liz

I blog because I dive

2010-03-01T20:31:00.000-08:00

NOTE: Thanks to Mary Ellen for reminding me to post this piece! Mary Ellen offers up her own answers as to why she blogs...

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

When it comes to Quakerism, I like a spiritual kind of scuba diving, going deep into the waters of the faith. Blogging helps me in do that.

I started The Good Raised Up in 2005, over five years ago. I had started reading blogs the previous summer, mostly because a fFriend, Martin Kelley, told me about the online writing he had been doing. Martin and I had talked about our yearning for a Quakerism that was more intentionally rooted in and centered on the Spirit; I yearned to explore the Quakerism that exists beyond the Meeting for Worship and outside of the bounds of Meeting for Worship for Business.

I began reading Martin's blog and the few other Quaker blogs that existed "back then"--in the early 2000s, there were ten or twelve Friends worldwide, it seemed, who wrote Quaker blogs; now there are hundreds--and I found myself writing long comments and returning to the blog-world at least once a day to see others' responses. The comments led to a great deal of reflection and longer exchanges among those of us who were reading and writing Quaker blogs.

As the weeks turned into months of commenting on blogs--something like short letters to the editor of a very small, very local newspaper--I soon understood that the perspective and the "voice" that I was bringing to the online conversation was unique and [at that time] not well represented in the Quaker blogosphere. I contacted a Jewish woman who was writing a blog about her studies as a rabbinical student because I wanted to know her experience as a female blogger, and she encouraged me onward.

When I started The Good Raised Up, it was clear to me that I would be writing about the Quakerism that doesn't often get talked about in our meetings: the foundation of worship, the historic principles that guide our actions today as a faith community, and the traditions that seem to be endangered or otherwise are falling out of practice.

As a result, writing this blog has been a form of ministry, and I have appreciated the eldership that a few Friends have provided over the years. These blog-elders call me to account when I overstep or when I have reacted to others out of judgment. They also give me support to keep up the writing I've been doing, which encourages me to go deeper.

The deeper I dive into our history and tradition, the more I learn about the quirky Quakerism we practice.

Blessings,
Liz

Western Friend's review of Writing Cheerfully

2010-02-26T10:29:00.000-08:00

Western Friend

Writing Cheerfully on the Web

Book Review: Writing Cheerfully on the Web: A Quaker Blog Reader

The complete title of the London Yearly Meeting Faith and Practice is Christian faith and practice in the experience of the Society of Friends.

While reading Writing Cheerfully on the Web: A Quaker Blog Reader, I realized I was reading the same book written from a different perspective—a contemporary account of faith and practice in the experience of the Society of Friends.

The Friends represented in this anthology cover a large geographic area, as well as a wide swath of the Quaker spectrum, ranging from Britain Yearly Meeting, North Carolina (Conservative), and Northwest (affiliated with Evangelical Friends International), to Freedom Friends, a Friends church not affiliated with any yearly meetings at all.

One uniting factor is that these writings all first appeared on the internet, on Quaker blogs. One blogger describes the virtual community shared on the web as an example of “electronic intervisitation,” a term once used for Friendly visits to other meetings to see how truth prospered there.

Another uniting characteristic of these Friends' musings is a shared frustration that the witness of today's Society of Friends feels so fragmentary and weak. Despite fluency in the Bible and in Quaker history displayed by individual contributors, they still yearn for a more immediate and more unified experience of the Friends witness today.

Editor Liz Opp provides a nice introduction to the world of blogging, and some suggestions about how blog writings might be understood from a Quaker perspective (as messages shared in open worship, for example), making this collection accessible for non-bloggers. And the personable, conversational tone of the writers offers a timely invitation to reflect on where each of us find ourselves in the faith and practice of the fragmentary, postmodern world of twenty-first century Friends.
__________
Reviewed for Western Friend by Sarah Peterson, a member of Spokane Friends, Spokane, WA (NWYM).

Worship, community service, and a meeting's identity

2010-02-13T20:37:00.000-08:00

At Meeting for Worship with attention to Business today--at 9:00 a.m. on a Saturday, an experiment that we as a meeting are engaged in--a Friend reflected on the dualism that Quakers are about two things: worship and service.

There is a balance to be struck between the two. If we worship for too long without taking ourselves out of our meetinghouses, we cannot do God's work in the world. If we only participate in acts of service, we potentially exhaust ourselves and risk losing our spiritual grounding and connection to the Inward Teacher, the Inner Light.

The comment about worship and service was made when Nominating Committee asked us to reflect on what it's been like since we as a meeting have gone without an active Community Service Committee and without an active Peace and Social Action Committee for a few years.

Friends spoke about a couple of larger projects that we no longer participate in because of the lack of logistical support that the committees used to provide. Other Friends spoke about the good works and steady witness provided by individuals in the meeting--Joe Friend attends peace vigils regularly; Lisa Friend writes letters to elected officials; Chris Friend drops off food at the local food pantry; Annie Friend every once in a while helps out with feeding people who are homeless.

After several minutes, I was stirred to bring up a different point, though we were asked to move on to consider other business.

What I see is that if we are to revive either the Peace and Social Action Committee or the Community Service Committee, then we must be willing to step into and work to sustain a new identity for ourselves, as a meeting--an identity that says We care about the communities in which we live and worship; we are witnessing to the world a way of peace and love; and we will not tolerate injustice.

It would be a tremendous experiment, and it would take time, effort, and commitment--not by a committee but from the corporate body.

Then again, it was a risky experiment to hold Meeting for Worship for Business on a Saturday morning, after decades of conducting business on First Day afternoons or on a weekday evening. Though many Friends suspected that the turn-out would be small and inconsequential, there were in fact more Friends there this morning than there have been in a good many years.

The clerk said to me during the break, "I think our energy is better in the morning, and that is helping us tend to business." I agreed with him. After the initial worry passed of how tired or small in number we'd be, we seemed to settle well and remained grounded for much of the morning.

Could we actually embrace, as a meeting, the "new way of doing business"--or at least the new time?

This is a question very similar to what I felt we were being asked by Nominating Committee:

Could we see ourselves, as a meeting, engaging in new or revived forms of service? Could we knit ourselves together in the name of lifting others up? Could we shift our energy away from the meeting activities and family busyness in which we are typically involved in order to make ourselves available to a different Purpose?Still, something troubled me.

Another Friend offered a question--or at least this is the question that I heard, even if it wasn't the question that the Friend stated: What about the committees that Friends are currently serving on? What if we need those gifts on those committees at this time?

Yes, well...

If we are going to shift the balance from worship and inward service (e.g. committees) to witness and outward service (e.g. community), then we are going to have to be willing to use our "discretionary time" differently. We are going to have to be willing to have smaller or fewer committees, to do fewer social activities within meeting, and perhaps to do fewer social activities outside of meeting.

When I say "we," I don't mean the Friends in the meeting we know who always show up at political events or at peace marches. I mean the Friends who talk about how important it is to engage in service or to have a peace witness--and that has included Your Truly--and we need to hold ourselves accountable to talk less and walk-the-talk, walk the walk more.

That's where the corporate life of the Quaker community comes in. I have been helped to step outside of myself and move beyond my comfort zone by those with whom I worship. They have invited me to participate in an activity that otherwise would intimidate me; they have been there for me, spiritually holding my hand.

I've gone to another faith community's open house and I've visited in the hospital someone who was barely an acquaintance. And when I've felt vulnerable or unsafe or uneasy in those circumstances, I was able to share that openly with my fellow worshipers. I could keep on the path, putting one foot in front of the other.

We need each other. We need to invite one another and encourage one another to "do the thing we think we cannot do." We need to work with one another as we grow into our new possibility, shed our previous identity, and explore our new identity as a faith community, as a worship group, as a meeting.

Blessings,
Liz

P.S. For a post that touches on a similar theme, read Mary Linda's My discomfort is my lack of discomfort.

More reflections on ministry, leadings, and gifts

2010-02-10T19:49:00.000-08:00

In recent weeks, I've been given more opportunities to reflect on the nature of spiritual gifts, ministry, and leadings. Other bloggers and I have written on these subjects before, but these additional reflections, borne of recent and revisited conversations, seem to want a bit of air, too.

Claiming versus having stewardship of a ministry, leading, or gift

I shared with Friends how I have been wrestling with whether or not I am acting out of ego or out of a true leading, as I sit with the vision of a Quaker resource center in my part of the U.S.

I had been talking with a Friend about this question at the rise of worship one First Day a few weeks ago. That Friend's response was "You have to CLAIM it; it's yours!"

My response was something like, "Well, that sounds like it's coming from a socialized white-American-male view of things." (I felt I could speak plainly to this particular socialized white American male Friend.)

Something about the energy of "claiming a leading as mine" didn't fit for me, I countered, and the Friend wisely suggested I look again at Lloyd Lee Wilson's book, Essays on the Quaker Vision of Gospel Order.

The next day, I did in fact pull out good ol' LLW:

...the gifted individual has become steward of a spiritual gift which God has given to the faith community for a particular task or occasion, and must learn how to be a good steward of that gift. The community in turn needs to learn how to encourage and nurture its gifted members... (p. 92)

...the task of claiming our giftedness has more to do with the individual's willingness to accept the gift being named as something for which (s)he is intended to be the steward... [Until] I claim, or accept that gift, it is bound up and incapable of being fully developed or exercised... We are stewards, not owners of our spiritual gifts, and to be a steward... of a spiritual gift is [to be] the servant of God who has bestowed the gift... [One] must exchange a portion of one's apparent independence for intentional servanthood. (p. 101)

Reading these two sections helps me understand that claiming a gift or a leading without the humility to use it in service to God is vastly different from accepting stewardship of that gift or leading.

I feel better for having wrestled about the line between the two, and for having that understanding affirmed by how Lloyd Lee has articulated it.

The Great River and a tether

In a committee meeting the day after the conversation I had with the "socialized white American male Friend," I was reminded of how living in the Spirit is often compared to being in the stream or in a river: There is a current, and we can either swim against it--tiring ourselves--or we can swim with it. Or we can float along and perhaps be tussled onto the banks.

This reminder strongly reflected some writing I had done the previous week.

The committee explored the River metaphor more fully, and I became aware of the helpfulness of being tethered. I sat with that felt-sense, of what it had been like for me to have been "tethered" to the monthly meeting over a three year period as I explored the concern I had, about how we convey our faith as Friends and what sustains us in our Quakerism.

I understood that night that having a committee of care-and-accountability, particularly under the care of a worshiping community, is in fact that sort of tether.* I went to bed feeling very full and enriched, both by the topics we had explored and by the spiritual hospitality that Friends provided me that night.

Blessings,
Liz

P.S. Friends General Conference calls these sorts of committees anchor committees.

What is dear to me about Quakerism

2010-02-05T20:46:00.000-08:00

What follows below is the major part of a letter I sent to a couple of Friends shortly after we saw one another at a local Quaker event.

I wrote them because they wanted to hear what I shared with a different small group. It is based on some journaling we were asked to do during the event, following which we were asked to "prepare a message" inspired by our writing. --Liz
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

What is dear to me about Quakerism

When we gather for worship, the living Silence embraces us and we are joined to one another: we are yoked together with the Spirit.

It is such a precious time.

And when, out of the silence, someone feels moved by the Spirit... when the Living Spirit speaks through one of us while we worship, we are being offered such a gift.

I wait to hear what my fellow worshiper has to offer. Perhaps it is a message of how God has reached that person and has helped her or him be transformed, broken open, brought closer to the Spirit.

And it is in the silence that the community who hears such vocal ministry will come to bear witness to that person's transformation and healing. We will help hold the Friend prayerfully as she, or he, sinks down into the Seed and begins to share the story...

So of course I become expectant in the waiting: How is God speaking to me, to us, through this person? What is God calling me, or us, to do?

When I hear of someone's experience of how God has been speaking to him or her, of being broken open, of wrestling to yield to God's guidance, of being transformed; when I hear how God has spoken so deeply to that person that her or his life is changed, then I myself am somehow also changed, at a deep and wordless level.

It is as if I am being made ready for God to open me, too.

Maybe not immediately, maybe not the next day, but at some point.

When that time comes, I know that I will be called upon to speak out of the living Silence, to share how it is that God has worked on my soul, has broken me open, and has helped me be transformed.

And when that time comes, not only do I know that the gathered body will bear witness to my words during worship, but I also know that I will be held tenderly by God.

Blessings,
Liz

On being an agent of God

2010-02-01T08:29:00.000-08:00

This is a short piece I wrote during a local Quaker event where we were given just a few minutes to journal about any part of our Quakerism. --Liz. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Power of God--the Loving Principle and Inward Teacher--lives and flows through me. It is a living current and I may step into it and follow its direction, or I may resist or struggle against it, or I may remove myself from it and watch it go by, at least for a time.

But when I am in that Stream, when I add my energy to the Great Current, I feel alive, ready, engaged, and attentive--able to risk in ways I hadn't before, and able to see how God is leading me--sometimes gently and sometimes insistently--into a measure greater than who I thought I was.

I am called into More--more of who I am, more fullness of Life, more depth of Love, more willingness to be an agent of the Living Loving God.

How God reaches us

2010-01-21T10:56:00.000-08:00

Shortly after I finished reading Marty Grundy's pamphlet Early Friends & Ministry, I considered more fully the purifying sear of what early Friends sometimes called the refiner's fire. Marty touched on how this quality of the Light helps us understand how we block God's presence in our lives and what blocks us from opening to receive God's love.

So it is that when we pass through the refiner's fire, we are made to become more truly ourselves and what God intended us to be. We become more ready to live up to our measure of the Light we have been given.

In a Meeting for Worship shortly after I finished reading Marty's pamphlet, I also began to consider the phrase "that of God in everyone." I found myself reflecting on some of the writings of Margaret Fell, as shared by Michael Birkel in his Pendle Hill Pamphlet The Messenger That Goes Before.*

Margaret Fell writes beautifully about "that of God" while making it clear that what each of us has inwardly that IS of God--our measure of the Light--is not identical from person to person.

And because of that, God must reach each of us through different means.

As I sat with that statement, I found myself thinking of how the key to my front door does not turn the lock to my backdoor, yet the doors belong to the same house. If my neighbor and I own the same make and model of car, the ignition key to my car does not start the ignition to the car my neighbor drives.

All mechanical keys are similar to one another, yet each one opens--or answers to--only one lock.

Once we ourselves understand both the refinement process and that "that of God" is unique in each of us, then we ourselves can practice the discipline of answering that of God in one another--not necessarily by being "identically kind" to one another but by striving to know how to interact with our brothers and sisters, so their own blocks to God's love and guidance might be cleared away; so that their lock may be opened and God may find a way into their hearts.

Blessings,
Liz

*There are other, more comprehensive books dedicated to the writings of Margaret Fell.

Marty Grundy's pamphlet "Early Friends & Ministry"

2010-01-14T09:40:00.000-08:00

In my previous post, I mentioned that I had recently read Marty Grundy's pamphlet Early Friends & Ministry. Marty is frequently called upon to speak to Friends about some element of early Quakerism and how it was practiced, or about the life and leadings of an early Quaker figure.

I was eager to get my hands on this pamphlet when it was made available. I was supposed to have attended a retreat for the Friends General Conference Traveling Ministries Program in the spring of 2009, during which Marty would've presented many of the remarks found in the pamphlet. I had to cancel my plans to attend that retreat because I was sick, and it sickened me in a different way that I had missed hearing her in person.

One thing I have consistently liked about Marty and her writing is that she articulates certain subtleties about Quakerism that speak to my condition. She also speaks to my concern about traditions that may be falling away from the faith as practiced by modern Liberal Friends.

For example, after drawing on the words of some early Friends, Marty reminds us that "the goal of early Friends was to experience and live in obedience to the indwelling Divine Presence, to be made pure and holy, and to live in friendship and spiritual empathy with the entire Quaker community. (p. 7)"

Based on some of the vocal ministry I've heard recently, I worry that some of us, some of our meetings, are losing our focus about just who or what we're supposed to pay attention to. Sometimes the messages in worship seem to focus on remembering how great we are, or remembering how great the community is, or remembering what good works we can do.

Without the reminder for us to "experience and live in obedience to the indwelling Divine Presence," wouldn't we be just like any other support group? Without that reminder, that a Living Principle can speak to our condition directly, what would distinguish a Quaker group from any other group or congregation, for that matter?

Is not having a minister, rabbi, liturgy, or hymns really the message that Quakers want to bring to the world today?

Another subtlety that Marty points out has to do with how modern friends have come to accept terms like "the Light," "the Inward Teacher," etc. Much of why we can use these terms so freely, especially when there is a broad variety of belief among us, Marty points out, is because "early Friends were not so shy" when it came to defining those terms.

Marty also spends time talking about the phrase "refiner's fire," how that phrase was used by early Friends, and how that fire acted upon them, including this example by George Fox:

...[And] then the spiritual discerning came into me, by which I did discern my own thoughts, groans and sighs, and what it was that did fail me, and what it was that did open me.... (p. 6)

Just that phrase alone, "refiner's fire," gave me something to ponder deeply during my next two Meetings for Worship.

(It may be that modern Friends are more familiar with George Fox's Epistle X, which speaks in a different way to this sort of experience...)

I reflected on times in my own life when I felt that the Light of God--this sort of refining fire--was somehow purifying me, shining a light into my soul that allowed me to look at where I had wronged someone, or where I had fallen short, or where my ego had gotten in the way of my listening for God. The experience was both a searing one and one of tremendous release:

I could look honestly at my behaviors, feel God's love for me anyway, and receive the spiritual courage and guidance on how to move forward.

It's a strange thing, to feel fear, love, and release, one on the heels of the other, in such a short amount of time, within a few ticks of the clock...

There are lots of other bits and pieces in this pamphlet worth savoring. For example, Marty has a gift for putting things in a much larger context, and in this pamphlet, she writes about the time that preceded the founding of Quakerism, the attitudes that were prevalent at the time, and how that era led into the next.

And she offers some challenges for modern Friends, too, including comparing today's individualism with that of early Friends, as well as the weight that early Friends gave to the corporate body.

With the Spirit working through Marty's voice, she also successfully pokes at me, personally, and the half of the coin I have been forgetting to consider in my day to day life:

It was also expected that they [early Friends] would add deeper commitments to their daily lives as they became able to do so; it wasn't a matter of picking and choosing bits with which they were comfortable and complacently ignoring the rest...

The question for us is, are we exemplars of faithful living...? Are we open to ongoing nudges from the Spirit to cling more closely to the Root while continuing to discard things, activities, acquaintances, habits, and thought patterns that distract us from closer obedience?... (p.11) (emphasis mine)

At the end of the pamphlet, Marty lifts up the prophetic nature of Quakerism--a topic that I can tell is working slowly on me at a deep level.

Like the corporate nature of our faith tradition, the prophetic nature of Quakerism seems to be seldom talked about. Or maybe more precisely, it's talked about a lot, but it's not named as prophetic.

Well, I sense this post has run its course, so I will leave it as it is.

Blessings,
Liz

The core and gestalt of Quakerism

2009-12-31T10:53:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, a new attender to the worship group was hospitalized and he desperately wanted some of us to bring him some books. I brought him a spare copy I had of Lloyd Lee Wilson's Essays on the Quaker Vision of Gospel Order, in part because he had read on our website that this book was one of the threads that had brought many of us together.

A week or two later, I visited the Friend and he started talking about the book and about the concept of a Quaker gestalt, mentioned in Chapter 2.* When he asked me how I myself would define the Quaker gestalt, I replied something like this:

I think of a gestalt as something that is bigger than the whole and all of its parts. And when I think about Quakerism, I often think of it as a tapestry.

disciplines

doctrines

won't

the immediacy and centrality of God in our lives; the place of corporate worship and meetings for worship for business; the covenant community; and the transformative power of the Inner Light on our individual and corporate lives.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Now that I've typed this out here, I can add some additional thoughts to the initial answer I offered a few days ago.

For one thing, I don't know that the Quaker gestalt is "hurt" as much as it is changed--for better or for worse--when we start pulling out threads of our Quaker tapestry. Clearly, some early outward forms for many of us Quakers have become empty and we've discarded them or otherwise rely on them much less than our predecessors did, such as convening a meeting of elders or wearing plain dress.

Secondly, I continue to acknowledge fairly openly that I was not raised in the Christian tradition and I don't identify as Christian. Yet I certainly acknowledge that Quakerism's Christian roots are also a vital part of Quakerism's tapestry.

I would say in my earlier days among Friends, I yanked the "Quakerism is a part of Christianity" thread pretty hard, insisting that Quakerism could exist just fine without it being Christian. In hindsight, that was my way of saying I felt I belonged and was accepted by my local Quaker community, and it therefore followed that a belief Jesus didn't have to be a requirement for being Quaker.

Nowadays, as a more mature Friend, others have held my feet to the fire, saying that to be Quaker, I have to at least be willing to wrestle with the faith's Christian roots. And I do.

I wrestle with being Quaker while not identifying as Christian. Sometimes I scratch my head in confusion: How did I end up here?! On my better days, I understand it is not a matter of how we name that Loving Principle: it is how we live by it.

I also recognize that the more time I spend with Quakers--in worship and in fellowship--the deeper I sink into the Seed and the more I learn about how the threads of the tapestry are intertwined. Over the years, I seem to understand more deeply and intuitively that when one thread is changed, the whole pattern of the tapestry is intrinsically changed, even if not noticeably so until years or generations later.

It is a lesson I need to revisit from time to time, and another indication that when I think I understand the wholeness and prophetic ministry of Quakerism, I really have so much more to learn.

Blessings,
Liz

P.S. As I was crafting this post in my mind, I also was reading Marty Grundy's newest pamphlet, Early Friends & Ministry. In some ways, her review of how Friends' travel in the ministry has changed over the centuries speaks to the historical changes of the gestalt of Quakerism. I hope to write about this pamphlet very soon.

*I include a quote from this chapter about the Quaker gestalt in an earlier post.

One hand blogging

2009-12-25T10:27:00.000-08:00

I jammed my wrist very badly while shoveling during our holiday snowstorm, making it very tedious to type with my non-dominant hand while I rest my right hand.

There are some things I wish to write about: a conversation I had with a Friend about what makes up the "gestalt" of Quakerism, the upcoming Pacific Northwest Quaker Women's Theological Conference, and thoughts about open worship and the related discussion going on at QuakerQuaker (click on Forum)...

But it's taxing me to type even this much.

I hope to be back online soon...

Blessings,
Liz

What I did with the high school teens

2009-12-03T08:20:00.000-08:00

A few of you have wondered how things went for me when I met with the high schoolers during their retreat a couple of weeks ago. Below is pretty much the response I gave to one person who asked me "How was it?"

If you were a teen who participated, I hope you'll add your own thoughts and perspective on what it was like.

Blessings,
Liz

First off, I mention a teeny bit about how my preparation went (or didn't) in the start of my previous post.

Parts of it fell pretty flat, but other parts went really really well.

WHAT I'D LIKE TO DO OVER:

1. I'd like to ask a few days before the event how many people were already registered! I had been planning for about 12 teens--and there were 22 of 'em!! The day before the retreat got started, I learned there were 17, so I had a little bit of time to rethink things.

2. I would have liked to have been better prepared to make explicit that if the same person (or persons) frequently wanted to comment, I'll stop inviting that person to speak--and encourage the person (or persons, in this case) to practice some discernment about whether or not that thing needed to be said. But with only a 2-hour timeslot, I didn't recognize the pattern of two of the teens until we were halfway through the morning.

3. I'd take more time--MUCH more time--to talk about how Quakers aren't perfect. I'd like to figure out a way to ask more effectively what gets talked about too much and what doesn't get talked about enough. Maybe I would search for a way to get a few of the teens who were registered to answer this question ahead of time...

4. When I started talking a bit about my own experience about God, some of the teens seemed to tune in and perk up. Wish I had stayed in touch with that energy and pursued it a bit more: how often do they hear about God/Jesus/faith from Quaker adults...?

WHAT WORKED WELL:

1. Following the nudges and hunches I had. For example, the teens were still eating breakfast 15 min before we were supposed to start--and they were still in sleeping bags, etc. about 15 min before that! So I ditched my high-energy ice breaker and instead had them do a step-forward exercise. All the questions were about family, since I was going to talk about Quakers and the RSoF as extended family.

Who here has a family? (After stepping forward and looking around, then we'd create the line again.)

Who has a large extended family?
Who doesn't feel like they know their extended family that well?
Who feels like they don't fit in with their own family?
Who is holding a grudge against someone in their family?
Who would want to know their family better, if the opportunity came up?

I also ditched the Four Corners idea I had been thinking about because there were so many chairs in the room, and the open spaces were very spread out.

And I didn't spend a lot of time talking about Convergent Friends, just because it didn't seem like where they were at. And it turns out, none of them write or read blogs (or so they told me when I asked).

2. There were a few times when I had a chance to talk about the importance of being authentic, honest, and real--not just as Quaker youth, but as people in general. I didn't know if this was an important point to make or not--but by the end of the time, two teens acknowledged to the group that they were atheist. Folks wanted to talk right over that, but I held the space and had all of us slow down and acknowledge what was just said. An opening, even if a small one.

3. BEST EXERCISE: A modified version of Chalk Talk, the exercise I've heard Peterson do with folks. I had three large pieces of paper (made up of 4 sheets of flipchart paper), each with a different word or phrase in the middle:

Evangelical Friends

Quakers aren't perfect

FGC

Then I gave each of them a marker and let them loose to write their own comments on each paper, and their own comments to each other, too.

Gave them about 15 minutes and they could have used 25. Two teens later told me that they really liked that exercise. (I also found out that none of them had done a Chalk Talk exercise before, so I hope I did it justice.)

4. Second best exercise, to wrap up: I gave everyone a piece of paper and asked them to write one or two WORDS or CONCEPTS that really had been lingering with them during our time together. Make the word (or words) big on the page. Then place the papers in the center, going every which-way, to form like a mosaic. After everyone has had a chance to add their page, then stand around and take a look at what's there, noticing what made you smile, squirm, or appreciate. All done in silence.

We closed with worship. I was hoping someone would be moved to say something, but that didn't happen. The things that were on the Chalk Talk papers and the mosaic sheets, though, were powerful evidence of things being stirred up in the group, and I made sure to tell the FAPs (Friendly Adult Presence) and coordinators to look over the papers, there might be opportunities for more discussion if the teens wanted.

...I was tempted to take photos of the mosaic and of the Chalk Talk papers, but I decided against it. There was a tender energy in the room and I felt it was important to "leave in the room" what had been shared in the room.

WHAT I WOULD DO "NEXT TIME":

1. At some point, after enough trust had been built within the group and between the group and me, I'd like to start a check-in round with "One thing I don't want you to know about me is..." I've used this check-in before and it encourages folks to get real authentic real quick.

2. Flesh out how Quakers are not perfect. Explore the "nice and pure" image of early Quakers (i.e. that all Quakers were abolitionists) as well as modern examples of our imperfections--as individuals and as meetings.

3. Do a spectrum about degree of belief in a Divine Principle and/or Four Corners about those beliefs (God - Jesus - Love - nothing, eg.)

4. Worship sharing instead of/in addition to worship.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

I have to say, just having those 2 hours to feel the group out a bit gave me a peek into what might be possible with a WEEK of them during an FGC Gathering workshop.

Blessings,
Liz

RELATED POST:

This post about raising young children as Friends from Amy of How'd I End Up Here?

The Convergent Friends talk I didn't give

2009-11-23T20:59:00.000-08:00

The previous week had been lesson after lesson about waiting for God to give me direction: what should I bring to the yearly meeting's high school group?

I had been asked to talk with them about Convergent Friends but I was having trouble sinking into the topic and understanding what it was I was to pull out and share.

For each of five or six days leading up to the presentation, I would spend anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour a half, writing notes, making lists, reading blog posts, asking Friends for ideas, searching the internet for interactive activities...

And the next day, I would get the feeling that what I had done the day before just wasn't what God was asking me to do.

By the event's eve, I started to let go and submit:

I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what the group is going to need. I don't know what materials will come in handy. And I'm not going to know until I get to the site where the teens are and be among them.

So that morning, I packed up everything I thought I might be able to use if Way opened--markers, blank paper, flipchart boards, my favorite Quaker books, ALL of my notes, handouts from an earlier workshop...

And I surrendered.

I'm not sure yet if I'll write a separate blogpost about how things turned out and what activities I ended up using. Overall, though, I feel things were... satisfactory.

But along the way, with all the planning and threshing and note-jotting, I ended up with a chart that summarizes my own take on how the Convergent conversation addresses certain topics.

Convergent responses

Jesus	Convergent Friends (Conv Fs) are not afraid to talk about or wrestle openly about Jesus. Whether Jesus is a teacher that we follow, a figure that we praise, or a legend that we acknowledge has relevance to our peers, we are willing to ask one another questions and listen thoughtfully for the Truth and Light that might be there for ourselves.
God or the Divine	Similar to Jesus, above. Most Conv Fs speak openly about an actively present God, Living Christ, or Divine Figure in our life, but a few are questioning: Is there a God? Can I call myself a Christian? Conv Fs are willing to ask the questions and listen for Truth that may speak to our condition.
Scripture	Many Conv Fs have some familiarity with Scripture. Part of the Quaker renewal that Conv Fs are coming into includes a growing openness to talk about and refer to Scripture. Some Conv Fs reference the importance of the Bible and the impact it's making in our lives.
Nontheists	There appear to be very few nontheists engaged in the Convergent conversation currently, but the ones who are involved challenge theist Quakers--or at the very least, they challenge me--to watch for how any of us *live our life* rather than listen solely to the theology we profess. Nontheist Convergent Friends are part of the Quaker family.
Pastors & Programmed Worship	Conv Fs recognize that Friends churches and programmed worship can bring Quakers closer to the Living God. Pastors explain Scripture, practices, terms, and history related to the faith tradition in a way that prevent or slow the loss of these pieces, unlike what may be happening among Liberal unprogrammed "Quietist-leaning" Friends.
Open Worship	Conv Fs recognize that this form of worship provides a powerful opportunity for worshipers to know God directly and to know God as a corporate body within a gathered meeting.
Faithfulness	Conv Fs often speak of a yearning to be faithful and obedient to the Spirit, and how that yearning needs to be pursued and needs to be helped. Conv Fs not only speak of our spiritual yearnings but also offer ourselves to one another for spiritual nurture and prayer support.
Accountability & Eldership	Many Conv Fs have established a shared trust that allows us to open to one another for this sort of spiritual exercise.
Power & Humility	The danger is that any Friend--Convergent or otherwise--may start to believe "I'm right, you're wrong" (or "We're right, you're wrong"). When we are low and keep love and God at the center of our searching, worship, and finding, we are more able to reach across the branches of our Quaker family tree and help mend the schisms.
Intervisitation	Conv Fs feel known in that which is Eternal, even on the internet, and so we often seek one another out as the Opportunity arises. Meet-ups that parallel other events allow Conv Fs to strengthen ties and experience the Presence together.
Finding	Conv Fs testify with one another, to the wider body of Friends, and beyond what we have found. Conv Fs testify to the Truth and Love experienced during our spiritual journey.

Not all my thoughts are fleshed out thoroughly, and though I use the words "we" and "our" when referencing Convergent Friends, I also recognize that I myself do not identify as a Convergent Friend!

I will say that I am involved in the conversation. I will explain what being part of the Convergent movement might mean. I will even devote a section of a book to the subject of Convergent Friends. But I find that I am not clear to name myself "Convergent."

That said, maybe I need to add one more part to the table above:

Attitude	If the yearning to go deeper into the Quaker tradition is coupled with an openness to the many forms that Quakerism takes; and if that yearning leads a Friend to pursue more time and experience among similarly oriented Quakers, all the while remembering the Source and Inward Teacher that others earnestly strive to Know, then that Friend may well be embracing the Convergent spirit and sensibility...

Attitude

If the yearning to go deeper into the Quaker tradition is coupled with an openness to the many forms that Quakerism takes; and if that yearning leads a Friend to pursue more time and experience among similarly oriented Quakers, all the while remembering the Source and Inward Teacher that others earnestly strive to Know, then that Friend may well be embracing the Convergent spirit and sensibility...

Blessings,
Liz

Approved minute on marriage equality

2009-11-22T13:11:00.000-08:00

The following minute from Twin Cities Friends Meeting was approved last month. The approval came after several months of threshing, discussion, and prayerful consideration.

Regarding item #6 in the minute, a few Friends have already come forward to coordinate and/or pursue particular actions that may help the meeting bear witness to the importance and right order of marriage equality.

NOTE: The phrases "same-sex couples" and "same-gender couples" are used interchangeably.

Many of us were holding our breath as this minute was considered because in previous discussions, Friends raised a number of concerns. It's my sense that Friends were put somewhat at ease because the minute includes a trial period of three years to test how rightly led this witness is and to have time to address any unexpected outcomes.

Time will tell...

Blessings,
Liz

Minute for Marriage Equality

Holding to our longstanding Testimonies of equality and integrity as they relate to justice for all peoples, we recognize the discomfort we feel when we provide civil marriage for straight couples but are unable to do the same for same-sex couples within the state of Minnesota.

The Quaker tradition is one of Spirit-led activism on behalf of civil rights and justice. Given that a foremost civil rights issue today concerns the right for all couples to marry, regardless of gender, [Twin Cities Friends Meeting] unites with a growing number of Quaker and other faith communities who are working for marriage equality.

We affirm the right for all caring couples to marry religiously and civilly. TCFM is not against the right of the state to give legal sanction to marriage. Rather we are called to witness against the injustice of the system as currently practiced.

In light of this searching, and because we often learn God’s Truth based on direct experience, we recommend a period of testing the following actions.

That TCFM:

while still retaining

civil

In addition, TCFM will:

2. Continue to provide clearness committees for all couples who request one for marriage;

3. Continue to witness religious weddings in the manner of Friends, that is, bearing witness to God’s marriage of two people;

4. Continue to take under its care all relationships and marriages that exist within the community;

5. Continue to support all couples who seek civil marriage, regardless of the gender of the partners;

6. Seek opportunities to bear witness outwardly until equal treatment under the law exist for all couples.We search for ways to expand the rights of some couples without restricting the rights of others. In the midst of wrestling within our meeting and in our state, we support marriage equality for all caring, committed couples. We trust that by TCFM’s action and witness, we will help hasten progress toward marriage equality for all.

Twin Cities Friends Meeting
Eleventh Month 2009

RELATED ITEM: Twelfth Month 2009, Minnesota Public Radio interviews the clerk, Paul L, about what this approved minute means from a practical viewpoint.

Wanted: Ideas for working with high school teens

2009-11-17T21:03:00.000-08:00

Hey there--

I'm working with the Northern Yearly Meeting high school program on Saturday for a couple of hours and I'm looking for ideas of activities to do with them (Topic: Quakers, the Internet, and Convergent Friends).

I've been in touch with two of the teen organizers who have assured me that all shall will be well, especially if I focus on the INTENTION, which I typically do anyway. They also mentioned on their own that having some worship is also welcome.

I find I'm having a hard time thinking of just what to do and was wondering if any of you blog readers have any thoughts or resources to share with me.

I've been thinking of questions to use with the "Four Corners" exercise, a spectrum exercise, and/or a fishbowl around some question. I've also been toying with a sort of "Chalk Talk" exercise that I know Peterson has used...

Have any of you ever done concentric circles with high schoolers? How was that...? Any other ideas you can offer....?

I'm really tired and have a bit too much on my plate, or so it seems. So I'm reaching out to gain some additional stimulation. I know many of us are busy too, but hey, two or more busy minds are better than my one!

Blessings, and thanks for the help,
Liz

Visibility of established Friends

2009-11-12T09:01:00.000-08:00

As I've been catching up a teeny bit on my blog reading, a thread has been piecing itself together for me. Or maybe it's been two or three threads, coming together to add some heft to an observation I've been mullling over...

First, as I mention in my previous post, I came across the proceedings from the 2009 conference on the Emergent and Convergent trends among Friends. The proceedings appear to lack a point of connection or a direct reference to the Quaker blogosphere that had promoted the concept of "Convergent." That apparent omission from the printed proceedings has not left me.

Then I read Martin's comment to that post, in which he explains,

I have a great concern that some of the most embedded institutional Friends (like some of those at the conference) are all but invisible online. Maybe they should jump into more blog conversations...

Shortly after reading his comment, I read Robin M's post on the essentials of Quaker practice, followed by a quick look at the list of blog posts lining up on QuakerQuaker.

Not only is the online community of Quaker bloggers and blog-readers missing out on the voices and perspectives of those long-time established Friends--whether "institutional" or not--but as the number of Quaker blogs grows, it seems that we, as Quaker bloggers, have been falling away from what had been a bit of online etiquette--that of using our name when first introducing the blog or when leaving a comment. Or, if we didn't use our full name, the practice had been that we'd use at least a recognizable part of it.

While crafting this blog post, I updated my post about online etiquette to include my thoughts about the value of using our names when blogging and commenting:

9. Use your real name, or at least a portion of it. Part of what reduces the anonymity of the internet and helps us to be known to one another in the Quaker blogosphere is that many of us have been using our name. Of course, for some of us who have a concern for privacy and internet security--myself included--that gets to be a bit tricky, which is why some of us use our first name and last initial, or we shorten our last name so it won't be [as] searchable through Google.

In addition to the disciplines of accountability and speaking plainly so that we might support one another on- and offline, using our names has been a great help in practical matters to find one another when traveling to events, such as the FGC Gathering. There's one less layer of society to have to peel away when I can know a blogger right away as "Robin" or "Martin" and not as "QuakerFriend" or "FriendlyWorshiper."

The name stuff is fairly straight-forward to address, but I'm harder pressed to think about the involvement and visibility of long-time, well-known Friends.

Here's part of a comment I left in response to Martin's remarks:

I'm conflicted about the degree of online visibility to afford to "embedded institutional Friends." On the one hand, these long-time Friends and educators most likely have a long and broad perspective that many of us "free-roaming," less institutionalized Friends don't have. It would be wonderful to have their experience reflected in the blogosphere, much like Brent Bill has been offering.

I recall that for a while, Friends' pastor Scott Wagoner was maintaining a blog, and also that every now and then, even Lloyd Lee Wilson would offer a comment.

On the other hand, I also think it's important that more established members of the Religious Society of Friends give space for less established Friends to find their voice and grow into whatever gifts and ministry may have been Given to them. Not to mention that some of [us] early Quaker bloggers have taken up new things--families and careers included--that reduce [our] visibility and presence online...

Maybe it falls to the less established, less institutional Quakers to say plainly, "Hey, we need a guidepost right about now. We're feeling a bit lost. What can you bring to the discussion and conversation that might help...?"

I'd like to think, as the years go by and as my hair is turning whiter, that I'll still be connected to Friends within the meeting and via the Internet. I'd like to think that I'll be willing to speak openly to an issue of concern--all while being "appropriately visible" to the Friends around me and to the body of Friends that may be treading just a few steps behind, to the side, or in front of me.

Blessings,
Liz

Pride and privilege

2009-11-04T15:41:00.000-08:00

God is wanting to teach me about the dangers of pride and the downside of privilege.

I'm a slow learner.

I know this because I am getting lessons about pride and privilege nearly every day it seems, from different people, over and over and over again. So it must be important and I need to pay closer attention.

Most recently the lesson came to light as I was reading the proceedings from a recent conference at Guilford College on a "new kind of Quaker" and the Emergent and Convergent movements that are influencing modern American Friends.

I found myself getting angry that Friends--Friends that I don't know personally--were talking about Convergent Quakers. That's when I realized I had unknowingly "bestowed" upon myself and a handful of others the "privilege" and the "right" to talk about Convergent Friends.

Ick.

My ego and pride had become overinvested in my (very ephemeral) place in the online conversation.

I needed to change my thinking about all of this: Many Friends all over the world have begun learning about Convergent Friends, and of course this isn't a new phenomenon at all. It's just a new word.

It took reading about this conference to burst my ballooning ego, and I'm the first to say I needed that particular balloon popped (again). If there is Truth and Life enough in what is going on to help Quakers reclaim and live into our vibrant faith tradition, then that is enough, and that fruit is of the Spirit, not of any single person's efforts or own good thinking.

It's painful to look in the mirror--but it also makes for good blogging fodder.

Pride.

I am thinking once more about being meek and staying low.

Oh, how frequently my pride and vanity get in the way!

So many times I do think I have really good ideas or I do think I know how to navigate through conflict and tense moments or I do think I know how to help convey Quakerism in meaningful ways to new attenders.

One of the dangers of this sort of pride, though, is that if I believe that I'm "so good," that often goes along with a deep and unspoken belief that so many others. . . aren't.

If in fact these are gifts that I carry--creativity, bridge-building, guidance--they are gifts from the Spirit and not of my own making. And these gifts aren't exclusively given only to me.

I will bow and be simple,
I will bow and be free
I will bow and be humble
Yea bow like the willow tree.

I will bow this is the token,
I will wear the easy yoke,
I will bow and be broken,
Yea I'll fall upon the rock.

Thinking that I am really good at a task can make me too quick to act when someone else may have an equally valuable--or even greater!--skill to offer or an important perspective to add. So many times I am reminded that we each have different gifts, different perspectives--and all are needed!

In my humanness, though, my pride often makes me blind and deaf to the gifts that others bring or that others may be developing, and I end up trampling on my comrades rather than "lifting them up."

Pride too can make me think I know what's best, and I become quick to discount or dismiss the opinions and ideas that others wish to contribute.

And then God steps in, or sends a messenger, to remind me...

Most recently, we hired Pete (not his real name) in the neighborhood for some fall yard clean-up. The leaves were many and were still somewhat wet from the recent rain. More rain was called for overnight, just before our morning pick-up for yard waste. I was glad that Pete was available and he filled up three-and-a-half of those extra-large paper sacks with the leaves from just our front yard.

In fact, Pete had filled the bags so full that there was no extra bag to fold over to keep out the upcoming rain.

I began to say something to him, like "Could you leave a bit of room at the top so the bag could be folded over...?" and he replied, "It'll be fine." A few days later, Pete told me he wouldn't do any more work for me, that I was too nit-picky.

Ouch.

I am wondering if there were other interactions that Pete and I have had in recent years that led to his perception that I was nit-picky, but the main thing is, my ego was bruised. My pride was hurt and I wanted to get angry at Pete for... for calling me names....?

I had thought I had been treating Pete well and with respect, but his comment to me has forced me to look at myself through his eyes. Am I too nit-picky? Do I insist too frequently that things be done my way?

Am I too prideful in thinking I have the right to interject what I think about any given situation?

Privilege.

Privilege pairs with pride for that reason, I think. Because I have privilege, I have access to any number of things--or at least I assume I do--and I internalize the message lived out by others of privilege:

The world at large and its institutions revolve around, and keep in power, those with privilege.

Privilege extends a number of assumed "rights" to those who have it and prevents access to those same rights to those who don't have "enough" privilege or the "right kind" of privilege.

The right to speak my mind--not only to interject my point of view but also to impose my worldview unwittingly onto others--without fear of retaliation, ridicule, harassment, or violence is among the rights that I seem to abuse the most.

When I stay awake to that abuse--entitling myself to have more power than I do, to take advantage of the access to more power than others have, to give myself more decision-making opportunities than others have--I am humbled.

I will bow and be brokenYea I fall upon the rock.

But staying awake, remembering that privilege begets privilege, is very hard in a society that whispers into my unconscious,

"There's nothing wrong, there's nothing wrong. You don't have to give anything up. Just help others to get a little bit more." You don't have to change because there's nothing wrong, nothing wrong..."

My worldview is formed by the unearned privileges with which I grew up, namely being white, being born into wealth, and being raised in an area that had families that looked and acted a lot like my own family.

I have to work hard to remember that racial privilege and social class privilege can only exist where there is racism and classism.

Where there is oppression, there is privilege. Where there is disenfranchisement, there is entitlement.

And because I am a person of privilege, I must resist the tendency to become defensive when I am pointed to as acting entitled or as being part of the systemic, societal oppression.

This particular sentence from Peggy McIntosh's essay White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack haunts me, as I continue to become aware of my deeply embedded classism as well as continued racism:

Describing white privilege makes one newly accountable. As we in women's studies work to reveal male privilege and ask men to give up some of their power, so one who writes about having white privilege must ask, "having described it, what will I do to lessen or end it?"

The phrase "what will I do to lessen or end it?" has a resonance in me the way I imagine Samuel Bownas' inward cry--"...Lord, what shall I do to help it?"--was called forth in response to the minister who chided him.

These are deep and difficult issues, tangled in my subconscious and in my heart. More and more these days, I work to untangle them.

Here's a piece from my journal, when I was taking a hard look at my unearned privilege as a white, well-educated, owning class American:

Privilege puts ME at the center.

MY needs.
MY wants.
MY preferences.
MY communication style.
MY comfort.
MY lifestyle.
MY feelings.
MY worldview.
MY advancement.

But my "needs" aren't necessarily needs at all.

And as I let go of any individual privilege, I go against the unspoken American Middle Class Norm--to be better, to have more, to keep more, to expect more, to be given more.

Once I have a privilege--earned or unearned--it's hard to choose to let it go for the sake of standing in solidarity with my brothers and sisters who have less.

The Light pierces my heart and reveals to me my ego's tight grasp on pride and privilege.

Ahh, break me Lord, if you must. But I pray it be gentle and that I be willing to yield, to bow like the willow tree.

Blessings,
Liz

Home is where the limits are

2009-10-26T06:58:00.000-07:00

Over on Plainly Pagan, Hystery has written about her stance against* becoming a member of a Quaker meeting that is affiliated with a larger body that has discriminatory policies against GLBTQ persons.

I began to leave a long comment to her post that drifted from her reflections into some of my own, so I'm continuing my train of thought below.

At one point in her post, Hystery asks a question that I myself had been thinking, regarding her experience among Friends. She writes:

Is it possible that my reaction to FUM is different than other liberals within the Quaker fold because I am so new? I honestly did not know that NY had affiliations with a religious organization that had anti-gay language.

I begin my comment by affirming that yes, I would say that this is very likely, since as convinced Friends our connections with our monthly meeting often provides our primary understanding of and initial exposure to what Quakerism is (or isn't) about.

And that understanding often is incredibly limited--and limiting. We base our understanding and build relationships with the Friends in the meeting and then we unknowingly internalize the thought that all Quakers must be like this.

After all, I continue explaining to her, "you are certainly not alone among the many attenders who don't find out for years after worshiping with Friends that there are other branches of Friends out there! I was among those attenders, and you have (1) good reason to be shocked at the way things are in New York Yearly Meeting; and (2) no reason to fear that "you should have known better." Chalk it up to Quakerism's quietist behavior."

After sharing that comment, though, I began to consider my early ignorance as an attender at Quaker meetings with my Jewish upbringing.

On the one hand, I readily understood how it was I gained a very early awareness about Judaism:

I grew up knowing there were (back then) three main branches of Judaism because my Jewish education as a child made sure I knew it. And because I had in my family Orthodox Jews, Conservative Jews, and Reform Jews.

On the other hand, how could I have been among Friends for months if not years before learning that Quakerism also has its splits and branches? Why was that? Why hadn't I learned that sooner, within my first 12 months of attending worship?

The question concerns me because I came to Quakerism twice: once as a college student (I attended worship twice a week but did absolutely no reading about the faith and no traveling among Friends, either), and again when I was 30.

It took me maybe a year or more to feel comfortable as a 30-something before I started going to Adult First Day School, and that's probably where I first heard about the other Quakers, the ones who had programmed worship and about the evangelical Friends... And then later, I participated in a Quakerism 101 session and learned about the historic splits and schisms.

Some of that late learning is my own fault. I didn't seek out adult education among Friends for quite some time. Some of the problem--maybe much of it, for non-pastored meetings--rests with the meeting itself. Are we too focused on worship, social justice, and welcoming families that we dedicate too few resources to "bringing worshipers into the fold" by offering regular book groups, Bible study, and adult education?

It would probably be different if I lived or worked as an adult in a Quaker hub while also attending meeting. If I had lived in Greensboro, North Carolina or in Plainfield, Indiana, or Des Moines, Iowa, I think I would have had a better chance of discovering at least two worlds of Quakerism: programmed and unprogrammed. Maybe I would have discovered Conservative, Liberal, and Evangelical Friends, too.

But with Hystery's experience as an example, it worries me to see new attenders, seekers, and young families come into our meetinghouses, maybe even get involved in the life of the meeting--the person's "home meeting"--without some early integration of the awareness of just who makes up the Religious Society of Friends.

(Not to mention that it isn't solely or even originally or primarily an American religion, but we do better in pointing out that Quakerism's roots are in Europe and the largest portion of today's Quakers are in Africa.)

I don't know if adults who, out of the blue, start attending Shabbat services necessarily know that there are such distinct branches among Jews, but I've heard that adults who begin to attend services are usually steered into taking Judaica classes to learn about the Jewish faith.

It's clear to me that something's amiss among American Quaker meetings and how we talk about today's Quakerism with new attenders. What do we tell them after we've invited them to have coffee and join in the fellowship hour...?

Blessings,
Liz

*Shortly after seeing Hystery's comment below, I imagine the phrase "stance against" would have been more accurate had I written "struggle about." Apologies to you, Hystery...

Putting God into SPICE

2009-10-18T08:37:00.000-07:00

A couple of times in recent Meetings for Worship--once at the monthly meeting and another at the worship group--a worshiper at each place made reference to the nifty little acronym SPICE. A lot has already been written about that acronym and the modern take on the Quaker Testimonies, and I've included a partial list of related blog posts below.

I agree that the mnemonic acronym--Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality--is a sort of tool to help our youngest Friends and our newest attenders understand what some of our key principles are. But it's like a mechanic who pulls out a Phillips screwdriver, a flat-head screwdriver, and a hammer and says, "Every mechanic should have a complete tool set like this!"

Well, of course it isn't quite like that.

One of the Friends who talked about SPICE has long-time connections with Friends education. To be fair, the Friend did say something about helping the young students understand some of the values that make the school what it is. And yet: at the rise of worship, an attender acknowledged that the acronym helped him finally understand what Quakerism is about...

Do we really want worshipers to leave meeting with an acronym? Or do we want them--and ourselves--to leave worship with a renewed sense of God's love, guidance, and presence in our individual and corporate lives?

The short-hand of SPICE doesn't relieve us of our responsibility to convey our faith and its invisible doctrines, principles, and complexities to those who worship among us.

What is it we really want those who find us to understand about our peculiar faith tradition? How can we share the fabric of Quakerism and not just a few of its individual threads?

The other person who recently spoke about SPICE has been worshiping with Quakers for a handful of months, and he talked about the acronym as if it was the best thing he'd seen or heard since sliced bread. I think he was disappointed to find out that the acronym has been around for at least a few years...

The thing is, if we stop at SPICE--as others have pointed out in their posts to which I link below--if we say in essence, "The testimonies are the crux of what we need to share when we talk about Quakerism with others," then it is as if we have pulled out a single thread that leaves marred the entire Quaker tapestry. In essence, we unintentionally sever these spiritual fruits from the deep root of our faith: the Inward Teacher, the Light, the Divine Principle that guides us to outward action that offers testimony to what it is we know inwardly.

If we are going to talk about SPICE in reference to the Testimonies, then we must also, and at the same time, and in the same breath, talk about the concept of the transformative power of the Light. Quakers would have no Testimony to the Truth had we not made ourselves low enough to submit to the Light's searching out of our shortcomings, yielded to it, and subsequently found ourselves changed.

So I want to suggest a new acronym, in order to put God first:

GPS ICE.That's God, Peace, Simplicity, Integrity, Community, and Equality.

But really, the acronym should be

GPS G ICE G.
Putting God first, last, and in the center of our Quakerism.

Blessings,
Liz

RELATED BLOG POSTS:
Martin's essay on the Quaker Testimonies
Chris M's thoughts on Creeds and Quakers
Melanie Douty-Snipes thoughts on Devotion as a Testimony (scroll down)
Pam's thoughts on Love as a Testimony
My own cautions about overreliance on an acronym
A more recent post by Quaker Jane, reminding Friends that Love is the fount from which the Testimonies rise

Ashley's meme: God told me to.

2009-10-13T23:28:00.000-07:00

I just read a fabulous post by Ashley W that reminds me of my own story of when God "told me to."

At some point during my senior year in college, I had decided that I wasn't going to live on the east coast after I graduated. I had grown up in New Jersey, had visited many relatives in Baltimore and in Washington DC, and had spent summer vacations in New England. I didn't feel much desire to do more of what I had already done.

I quickly eliminated living in the southeast (hurricanes), or the west (earthquakes), or the south (heat and humidity). Then I realized that nearly all of my good friends from college were from the midwestern part of the U.S. and THAT seemed worthwhile to pay attention to!

During that last year of college, I made plans to spend my breaks visiting parts of the midwest where my college friends were from, including Cincinnati and Columbus, Ohio as well as Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

But there was something else that was significant about my college years: Canada geese.

You see, I grew up in a very suburban area outside of New York City. The geese that I saw in my childhood were geese that I fed at a pond in New England during summer vacations. They were quiet geese, mostly white, and I certainly never saw them fly in a V.

But at college, there was the type of pond and semi-rural campus that attracted Canada geese, and the campus was part of a fly-zone during migrations. Every time I heard the honks of geese, I would interrupt my walk to class and look into the sky to see where the honks were coming from. Day after day, I'd spy the wedges of geese and stop and listen to them as they flew by.

Something about these Canada geese was calling to me, but what....?

Fast forward to my visits to friends in the midwest during my senior year. In October, I traveled to Milwaukee to see Linda, my closest college buddy, who had already been out of school for a while. While there in the city, wouldn't you know it, a flock of geese flew overhead and I was practically sold on relocating then and there.

But I had at least another semester to get through, so shortly after seeing Linda, I wrote her a letter that said, in part:

"I'm beginning to think about where I want to be after I graduate, and I'm thinking about moving to the midwest. I don't know what your plans are for the next year, but I might be in the area, looking for a roommate..."

It turns out that Linda was also writing me a letter at about the same time:

"I just found out that my folks are leaving Milwaukee to move to Indiana. I'll be staying in Wisconsin, and even though I don't know what your plans are when you graduate, if you need a place to live and want to come to Milwaukee, I'll be looking for a roommate..."

And the letters literally crossed in the mail.

So when people find out that I grew up on the east coast but have been living in the midwest since 1985, they often ask me, "Why'd you move to the midwest?" And I tell them:

God brought me here.

I've never looked back and God is still speaking to me, even here.

Blessings,
Liz