A fragrance-free Gathering?

This past First Day morning, I attended a discussion about how to make the meetinghouse accessible to people who have asthma, allergies, multiple chemical sensitivity, or an otherwise compromised immune system as a result of disease or chemotherapy. Even people with migraines have symptoms that point to these same concerns, about certain environmental triggers that can provoke a physical, physiological, or even neurological reaction.

It was one of the most interesting discussion groups I've attended among Friends!

The Friends who presented the topic and helped facilitate the discussion participate in a support committee for a Friend who has moderate to severe chemical sensitivities. They are severe enough that if certain cleaning agents are used--say, to wipe down tables as potluck is wrapping up--the Friend has only a few seconds to clear out of the building or risk getting something akin to hand tremors as a result of neurological damage.

In many ways, it's been an uphill journey to educate the meeting and so success is measured in small-but-significant accomplishments, like changing out the whiteboard and dry-erase markers for flipchart paper and non-toxic markers; and converting the run-of-the-mill cleaning products in the kitchen and bathrooms from heavily fragranced (due to chemicals) to fragrance-free. Even items with ingredients such as "natural fragrances" and "essential oils" have to be avoided... for reasons I didn't quite grasp at the time.

It's a steep learning curve for many of us because our lives are unknowingly intertwined with chemical products and because those who experience reactions to environmental triggers are often invisible to us: they stay away from places and events that they know will be problematic.

It's a big task for a meeting with 200 households to go fragrance-free. It's even a bigger task for FGC to go fragrance-free. And this year, FGC's 2007 Gathering intends to take significant steps towards just that.

For more than 1,500 Quakers.

It's a big task. Understatement. But some big strides have been undertaken too.

For example:

For years, a very small handful of Friends have been doing a lot of behind-the-scenes advocacy and education. The result? This year, there is a housing cluster that is designated as fragrance free.

Also, a statement about avoiding scents and fragrances is likely to go out, either in a pre-Gathering correspondence or in the onsite registration packets. And free samples of fragrance-free toiletries are likely to be available to attenders, at least in some significant amount. What that "amount" is remains to be seen.

Another thing that I've heard is that the cleaning staff of the university where the Gathering will take place is being instructed to use certain cleaning agents in the fragrance-free housing. It's unclear to me if FGC is providing those products or if the university is. In the meantime, the university staff will be learning about these concerns, too.

Here are some resources and tips that I found worthwhile that came out of the discussion session:

Website for the Toxics Information Project, which is directed by a Friend.

Downloadable handout about the myths of chemical sensitivity.

FACTOID: Products marked as "unscented" may in fact have a "masking fragrance" that causes difficulties for people with chemical sensitivites.

FACTOID: Chemicals that are banned in the U.S. by OSHA for use in the industrial field are found in certain perfumes and other products--because those same chemicals aren't banned in the U.S. in cosmetics.

FACTOID: Dry-erase markers and Sharpies are terrible for folks with environmental triggers! And chalk dust is bad for people with asthma.

FACTOID: Crayola makes a set of non-toxic (fragrance free?) markers, which seem to be informally endorsed by a few Friends who are facing these concerns.

FACTOID: Good ventilation and open spaces can help alleviate or minimize some of the toxins in the air.

FACTOID: A pinch of baking soda for some people is a fine replacement for store-bought deodorant. I like this product myself; Arm & Hammer doesn't quite cut it for me.

One last thing I should mention:

I think FGC staff and the Friends who have been doing this education and advocacy seem to have realistic expectations. I don't think there's anyone who expects ALL 1,500 Friends to change their habits and their awareness overnight. Some might not even receive or look at the statement that goes out about using fragrance-free products.

As for me... Am I going to remember to seek out a new shampoo or get new sunscreen before Gathering? Will I avoid using bug spray if the mosquitos are particularly bad? Will I remember that "unscented" doesn't necessarily mean fragrance-free???

I may not remember everything I learned in a one-hour session, but I might remember--and put into practice--one or two new ideas... And tending to the small things will help with tending to the big things over time.

Blessings,
Liz

Anxiety and surrender

As I write this post, the 2007 FGC Gathering of Friends is less than one month away. Yipes!

Thank goodness for care-and-accountability committees. Mine met with me this past First Day, knowing that getting together so close to the Gathering would be important, and knowing that if we had met any closer to the Gathering, it would have been a hassle to interrupt whatever it is I'll have my hands, head, and heart into at the time!

I was able to express my growing anxiety over all the loose ends that need to be tied up between now and the end of June. I was able to express my worst case scenarios that were playing in my head. And I was able to remind myself that all I really need to do is pay attention to what God has put directly at my feet, what is directly in front of me right here, right now.

I just need to give myself and the experience over to God, day by day. The rest will take care of itself.

The committee of a few caring fFriends heard me out with love and compassion. They didn't talk me out of my worry and they didn't affirm my anxiety, either. Ultimately, we all came up with ideas to help get me through. Some of the ideas had us in stitches because they were so off the wall.

Whether or not you'll be at the Gathering, there's probably a way for you to participate, if you want, in helping me shift from worst-case thinking to best-or-better-case thinking. I'll take all the support I can get!

Here's a partial list of what we came up with.

I need to engage in daily worship, before and during Gathering, starting now.

Open myself to receiving prayer support from various fFriends.

Solicit ideas from others about dealing with pre-Gathering stress, especially from Friends and FGC staff who are familiar with preparing for the Gathering and making it to the other side.

Use humor.

Imagine: Dedicated lines for "4 complaints or more," and an express line for "3 complaints or fewer."

Imagine: Different directions for crabby people and for serene people:

"Please rate your mood: For "Crabby and worse," please follow this (long-and-winding) path to the Workshop Changes Table. For "Pleasant, serene, or better," please follow this (very simple and direct) route to the Workshop Changes Table."

Maybe for real: Post a sign, “We're in continuing revelation—Back in ten minutes.”

Reminders to be gentle with myself as well as with others. Allow myself and others to be very human, all week long.

Have the committee arrange for impromptu and periodic check-ins with me by pre-selected fFriends:

"On a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being 'you are loose and relaxed' and 5 being 'you are about to lose your Quaker cool,' how would you rate yourself?"

If my answer is higher than a 3, these Friends would know to take evasive action!

Similarly: establish a safe word or coded phrase to let other committee members and other significant Friends know when a break is Completely Necessary Right Now.

A “Friendly fire/forest fire danger" sign, visible to those in line ("Friendly...'Nice'...Un-Friendly" risk levels).

Notecards written with reminders:

God is with me.
These Friends are my neighbors and my family.
They've had a long day too.

Have food and water available, and a cooler filled with ice water that has bandanas soaking in it for my head!

Frequent short breaks.

More notecards:

I am a servant.
I am serving the registrants.
I am serving FGC.
I am serving God.

Pray and pray and pray.

Blessings,
Liz

QuakerPagan tags TGRUp as a Thinking Blog

From a comment I posted to Cat on QuakerPagan Reflections, after she tagged me for a "Blogs that Make You Think" meme:

Ah, blog memes.

Thanks so much, Cat, for including The Good Raised Up in the list of those blogs you've tagged.

And now I am in that awkward position of figuring out what to do about it.

I guess I'd have to say that as a blog writer, I don't typically "play well with others." The blog writing I do is very often an extension of the concern I carry among Friends. As a number of readers point out, I don't stray very far from the theme of Quakerism!

Some memes I've been tagged with I've simply ignored. On a rare occasion, I might pick up on someone else's "generic meme," in which no one has been tagged per se, but the theme travels among Quaker blogs at the very least.

Well now: You've given me something to think about (again). Maybe a girl like me can learn to play after all!

And now I'll pass along the Thinking Blogger Award (and all the relevant info) to:

1. Of course I'll point to Martin, the Quaker Ranter himself. Many of his Quaker posts make me think quite a bit about the state of the Religious Society of Friends, but more than that, it's how he's set up his blog and the spin-off site QuakerQuaker that gives me things to think about, about how best to connect with others through use of the internet.

2. Peterson of A Musing writes about his own experiences as a gay man, a survivor of the ex-gay movement, a theatrical performance artist and activist, his Quakerism, etc.

3. Heather of A Friend in Need writes stories about her experiences among Quakers and elsewhere move me in unexpected ways.

4. Rachel of the Velveteen Rabbi, gives me much opportunity to revisit the Jewish tradition of my family--and has helped me make better sense out of Judaism I grew up with. I don't visit the VR frequently but when I do, I am bound to rethink much about my early years...

5. James of Nontheist Friends--which isn't a blog at all, of course, but the website includes posts that have really stretched me. Plus, leave it to me to color outside the lines...

Of course there are lots of other Quaker blogs I could point to, but hey, I have to let others tag 'em, don't I?

AMENDMENT, a few days later: I heard from Martin that he's likely to be too busy to respond to the tag, so I'm going to tag my friend Robin of What Canst Thou Say. And, if I could do it over again, I would have "broken the rule" and gone ahead and tagged her earlier as #6, because I enjoy so many of her posts!

Here are the expectations for participating that I'm supposed to post. They're called "rules" in the original post from The Thinking Blog:

If you’ve been tagged, here’s how you play:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think;
2. List to this post at The Thinking Blog so that people can find the exact origin of the meme;
3. Optional: Display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award.’

Blessings,
Liz

Hard choices to make at the Gathering

This week I sent an email off to the assistant clerk of the Workshops Committee for FGC's 2007 Gathering in River Falls, Wisconsin. Basically the email said:

Hi, K--. I'd like for you and me to start thinking about what 2-3 events we each really would like to be able to attend or participate in during the Gathering, so that we can support one another in helping get to those things. I hate the idea of building up resentment or having regrets about missing something because we've forced ourselves both to attend to the onsite work of the Workshops Committee without giving forethought to how else we'd hoped to have spent our time. And maybe only one of us needs to be "on call" at any given time, for the most part...

Between the two of us, we'll have daily meetings to attend each afternoon to provide updates to the larger Gathering Committee, the Gathering co-clerks, and the FGC staff who support all of us. We'll also have our own share of mishaps, concerns, and messages to respond to, and I can't imagine both of us would enjoy doing only that for the entire week...

...not when there are 1,500 other Quakers to meet, worship with, and play with!

I've begun making my list. I'm afraid there's a few more than just "2-3 events" that I'll want to get to!

Attend with my sweetie at least one of the wildly popular "noon sings" that happens each weekday immediately after workshops. The "noon sings" are a time to sing from Annie and Peter Blood's popular Rise Up Singing with all the heart, love, and joy a person can muster. There are dozens of devoted noon-sing attenders and families, and handfuls more who drop in. It's hard to imagine missing all of the noon sings during the week, but it might be a stretch for me to get to one, let alone two of them.

Have lunch or dinner with my dear friend MC, who I've known for about 8 years, ever since she was about 5 or 6 years old. We see each other, if we're lucky, only twice a year: once at yearly meeting and once at Gathering. Boy, do I ever see my younger self in MC! The shyness borne out of feeling different from her peers; the fierce resolve to be who she is; the concern that she'll hurt her friends' feelings by being who she is; the yearning to be understood, even if what she's going through doesn't make logical sense. I do what I can to allow MC the space to continue discovering herself, and it's a blessing to be invited into a young person's life the way that MC has invited me into hers... I'll definitely want to carve out time with her.

Be present to prepare for and facilitate the interest group with Robin that I've already committed to. Just thinking about spending time together and worshipfully considering how to structure the interest group gets me excited. I love witnessing how the Spirit shapes us and moves us and brings us together as we share our faith journeys in formats like workshops and interest groups.

So right there, that's three things, three events, three people! But also on my "would have regrets if I didn't get a chance to see or do this" list are:

Get together with my dear, sweet friends N & P, who have been dealing with a chronic disease in the family that has been hard and tender to witness as it takes its toll... These two fFriends are family to me. When my partner was suddenly unable to travel to help move her own parents from Delaware to Florida, P flew with me to pack up what was to her a complete stranger's house. And in contrast to my own folks who were slow in coming around to support our wedding under the care of the meeting, N & P made the 3-1/2 hour drive each way to serve on our clearness committee, which met several times. I'd feel bad if I didn't have a chance to spend some quality time with them at Gathering.

Attend the Wednesday night performance of In the Heart of the Beast (HOBT). (I think HOBT will be the sleeper event of the Gathering.) This amazing, family-friendly theater group will be working with one or two groups of Junior Gathering to create oversized puppets, masks, and other props that will help tell the story of the Good Samaritan, in response to the Gathering's theme, "...but who is my neighbor?" If I were to combine going to HOBT with my meet-up with MC and with N & P and with my sweetie, that would take care of all those opportunities in just one evening!

To cap off the week of noon sings, there's usually a very fun Friday night last hurrah sing as well. If the group has been in fine voice all week ("fine" is defined as a willingness to sing at all!), this final sing is amazing and very Spirit-filled.

Attend at least a couple of Meetings for Worship in the afternoons, under the care of FLGBTQC. These meetings for worship are consistently among the most grounded, most tender opportunities I've experienced to listen as a people for God in our hearts.

I'm sure I'm forgetting a number of other events I'd want to attend and people who are incredibly important to me with whom I'd like to "do lunch." I'm also sure that I will be mindful of carrying out the service that has been asked of me, in my role as clerk of the Workshops Committee.

After all, that was an opportunity last year that I consciously stepped into. I haven't looked back.

Blessings,
Liz