Continued reflections on Gathering:Young Friends

One of the highlights of the week at Gathering for me was the opportunity to participate in an intergenerational interest group on Tuesday night, the night when all interest groups were convened in lieu of a plenary session.

But it isn't appropriate for me to share what happened at that interest group without giving some context of what led up to my participating in it.

As mentioned elsewhere, I had been invited by one of the high school co-clerks to attend their Meeting for Worship with a Concern for Business. I was able to attend on Sunday night, at least for a decent chunk of the first business session. Granted, throughout the week I was making a lot of late-night choices based on (1) my responsibilities as a workshop leader; (2) my endurance to traverse campus with a bad ankle; and (3) the availability of golf-carts at night to help with transportation. Nevertheless, I sensed an opening was in the making, so I kept my personal commitment to the high school program and to the young Friends who had expressed enthusiasm and openness for my being there.

That Sunday night was a long time ago. I was keenly aware of the invitation for me, an adult Friend, to be in another group's space. So, before Meeting for Worship with a Concern for Business began, when everyone but co-clerks were asked to wait outside and hold the silence, I didn't assert my "adult privilege." I went outside too, and I waited.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Occasionally on Monday and Tuesday, I'd pass Claire [Spiritual Journeys], or Erik or Inez from the meeting back home. There wasn't really a way to start a conversation: one or the other of us was always off to another meeting, another event, another golf-cart ride.

But I was changed because of my witness of the high school's Meeting for Worship with a Concern for Business and because of the felt Presence of the Spirit among these young Friends. I saw high schoolers and young adult Friends through new eyes as a result.

Tuesday evening rolled around, and I had no idea what group I'd go to, if any at all. As I hobbled into the dining center, though, I saw the big piece of flip-chart paper taped onto the doorway:

INTERGENERATIONAL DIALOGUE INTEREST GROUP
7:00 pm, OWENS BALLROOM

Right away, I understood where I was called to be.

I ate quickly, never knowing how quickly a golf-cart will appear after dinner, and not quite sure where the entrance to Owens Ballroom was, since I had failed to find it a previous time earlier in the week.

(Owens is a building in the shape of an H, with doors at all four outer wings, as well as doors in the "crosspiece." But wings were not connected and could really only be accessed through the outside doors, meaning quite a long trek around the building and up and down stairs before finding the wing, the door, and the room that you were looking for.)

Anyway, I arrived safely and promptly at the ballroom, along with nearly 50 or 60 other young Friends, adult young Friends, and adult Friends. We introduced ourselves, of course, and then soon moved into an exercise called "Four Corners." It's very much like the exercise of creating a spectrum or continuum in the room, where a question is asked and participants are to place themselves in the spectrum according to the degree to which they agree or disagree with a statement. Four Corners, though, allows participants to group themselves according to the answer of a multiple-choice question:

I first came to Quakerism in my:
(A) childhood;
(B) adolescence;
(C) young adulthood; or
(D) older adulthood.
[Some of the youngest Friends there only had two choices to consider...]

My meeting supports me in my spiritual journey:
(A) strongly agree;
(B) agree;
(C) disagree; or
(D) strongly disagree.

For Friends who didn't fit in a single category, they were invited to sit or stand in the center of the room. Each group, once gathered in their "answer space"—one of the four corners of the room—was then asked to share the main points as to why Friends stood where they did. And for those who found themselves in the center, they too had a chance to speak.

The Four Corners exercise was a nice way to warm us up without forcing anyone to talk or share from some artificial or lukewarm worship-sharing topic, and it was nice to have the exercise co-facilitated by an adult young Friend and an older adult Friend.

Afterwards, and appropriately "warmed up," energetic Friend Zachary Moon instructed the group to get into pairs with someone clearly a different age than ourselves. We were then given a roleplay to enact, around an emotional, real-to-life concern, perhaps similar to what he and Martin Kelley had done in their Gathering workshop,"Strangers to the Covenant" (which no longer has an active link, sadly). After a few minutes, we switched partners and roles, and had the whole conversation all over again. The room was filled with energy and excitement, to the extent that the conveners of the interest group could not bring us into worship to close the session.

We continued raising questions about how to build on this experience, how to keep the communication lines open between young Friends, adult young Friends, and (older) adult Friends. And suddenly, an ad hoc working group of interested Friends was formed, right then and there.

Most of the 6 or 8 Friends who expressed interest in serving on the working group were able to meet the next day (Wednesday) for lunch, and a minute was drafted to be shared with the FGC Youth Ministries Discernment Committee, with the High School program, with the Adult Young Friends program, and perhaps ultimately with FGC Central Committee.

The gist of the minute reflects the Opportunity for bridge-building among these groups, alluding to the challenge of addressing items of concern that impact one group or another (such as the still hot-to-the-touch, not-sure-how-to-respond-compassionately-myself Quaker Sweatlodge issue).

The main logistical challenge is this:

FGC's Central Committee meets only in the fall and it and its subcommittees are discouraged from conducting business during the Gathering.

High School and Adult Young Friends conduct business only during the Gathering.

What's wrong with this picture?

The High School program apparently was easy with the minute, as it was presented; the Adult Young Friends apparently were not. And the working group is at this time, via email, seeking to understand if there is an ongoing need that it can fill and whether the Spirit might be calling the group to go further with its initial work.

. . . . . . . . . . .

With such tender and enriching experiences behind me as early as Tuesday of the Gathering, it made clear sense and good order for me to attend the high-school sponsored Meeting for Worship on Wednesday afternoon. It would be hard for me to capture the tenderness, mysticism, and depth of the worship I had experienced there...

But my hope is that I'll remember to invite other adult Friends to consider rearranging their Gathering schedules in order to be among young Friends for worship, and to share in the Spirit that moves through them in a more alive, vibrant way than it seems to at times among older Friends...

...older Friends who, like me, need reminders that I don't have all the answers, and that I can be ministered to and receive eldership—and friendship—from those who are younger in years than I.

Blessings,
Liz

Let Love Choose:Marriage equality witness at Gathering

I'm having trouble with pulling my thoughts together cohesively, so I hope this will serve as an amuse-bouche. In the meantime, as an appetizer, Claire at Spiritual Journeys talks about how the High School program of FGC's Gathering made their way to the public witness for marriage equality.

While at the Gathering, I called my partner and asked if anything online from the Roanoke (Va.) Times was written about the witness and rally that FGC and Friends for LGBTQ Concerns had pulled together. Here's what she found [with my corrections in brackets]:

Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Blacksburg, Virginia

Quakers hold rally for gay marriage

BLACKSBURG -- A [bi-]national religious group that considered canceling plans to hold its annual conference at Virginia Tech because of a state law that bans gay marriage and may invalidate wills and powers of attorney between same-sex couples held a "marriage equality" rally on Henderson Lawn on Tuesday.

About 300 attendees of the Friends General Conference [Gathering], also known as [well, really, are made up of] Quakers, gathered near downtown Blacksburg in support of marriage rights for same-sex couples.

"We're not here to tell the people of Virginia what to do ... but be a witness for equality," said Petra Doan, a conference attendee.

Conference organizers planned to hold the weeklong annual gathering of Quakers from around the country [and Canada] at Tech before the Virginia General Assembly passed the Virginia Marriage Affirmation Act last year. That law bans gay marriages, civil unions and any "partnership contract or other arrangement between persons of the same sex purporting to bestow the privileges or obligations of marriage."

Gay rights advocacy groups say they believe the legislation may void wills and medical and financial powers of attorneys between same-sex couples who live in or travel to the state.

While Quaker organizers say they have no plans to boycott Virginia when planning future conferences, they did consider relocating the gathering of about 1,500 members to another state this year.

"We were concerned about [same-sex] couples and their children who might be hurt by the law," said Tania Lang Burger, one of the organizers.

What if a same-sex couple brought their child and one of them got sick or hurt? Would that couple have access to their loved one at the hospital? Those were just some of the concerns a special Quaker committee discussed, prayed and reflected on when deciding whether or not to move the conference, said Carrie Glasby, a conference attendee and a speaker at the demonstration.

In the end, they decided to come to Virginia and "witness to the truth" of marriage equality, said conference director [that is, the General Secretary of FGC] Bruce Britchard.

This is the second [Friends] general conference [Gathering] the Quakers have held at Virginia Tech. The last gathering was held there in 2001.

No identifiable counter-demonstrators showed up Tuesday and few residents were milling around during the event, which began at 2 p.m.

Glasby, along with her longtime lesbian partner, Kathleen Karhnak, spoke to the group about their marriage in a Quaker congregation[sic] in Pennsylvania several years ago.

The couple also showed off their 5-month-old son, Timothy Karhnak-Glasby to the crowd, which cheered.

While Pennsylvania allows both women parental rights to the child and recognizes their wills and powers of attorney as valid, "there are still so many areas where we have no equality," Karhnak told the gathering. "I hope this message goes out into the world with love."

In addition, singer/songwriter Deidra McCalla shared this song, called "Love Chooses You."

Love Chooses You
Lyrics by Laurie Lewis

Love comes unbidden, can't be forbidden
It takes you and shakes you right down to your shoes
It knows heartache and trial but accepts no denial
You can't choose who you love, love chooses you

In the wink of an eye love looses an arrow
We control it no more than the flight of the sparrow
The swell of the tide or the light of the moon
You can't choose who you love, love chooses you

Tell me now if I'm wrong
Are you feelin' the same
Are your feet on the ground
Are you callin' my name
Do you lie awake nights
Please say you do
'Cause you can't choose who you love
Love chooses you

Love cuts like a torch to a heart behind steel
And though you may hide it, love knows how you feel
And though you may trespass on the laws of the land
Your heart has to follow when love takes your hand

And it seems we're two people within the same circle
It's drawn tighter and tighter till you're all that I see
I'm full and I'm empty and you're pouring through me
Like a warm rain fallin' through the leaves on a tree

Tell me now if I'm wrong
Are you feelin' the same
Are your feet on the ground
Are you callin' my name
Do you lie awake nights
Please say you do
'Cause you can't choose who you love
Love chooses you

No you can't choose who you love
Love chooses you

Blessings,
Liz

UPDATE: Though quite a bit tongue-in-cheek, here's another post about marriage equality, at Beppe's blog.

Initial reflections on the Gathering

NOTE:  This first post is mostly taken from a comment I made on Claire's Spiritual Journeys blog.

In one sentence, here is my summary of FGC's 2005 Gathering in Blacksburg, Virginia:

     Woo-hoo, and yay for the Spirit so alive among us!

The busyness of the Gathering sometimes can crowd my awareness to the point of missing Opportunities to pursue, and be attentive to, the movement of the Spirit, but this Gathering was notably different for me: I had to cope with having tendonitis in my ankle.

The tendonitis slowed me down significantly so that I ended up not going to several plenaries; not going to several Meetings for Worship hosted by Friends for LGBTQ Concerns nor going to events hosted by Friends of Color (the loss of which all saddened me for having missed them); and not going to scheduled or impromptu events that began after 9:00 pm.

Nevertheless, there were gifts that I received as a result of slowing down, which primarily were conversations and get-togethers I otherwise would not have had:

• a conversation with a Friend about the complexities (for lack of a better word) that FGC has encountered with the responses to the cancellation of the sweatlodge workshop at the 2004 Gathering;

• participating in an intergenerational dialogue that included lifting up the need for older Friends, young adult Friends, and young Friends to find ways to engage together in items of business that impact the respective groups; and

• attending Meeting for Worship that was sponsored by high school Friends. I left that worship space wanting other tender-hearted adult Friends to clear their schedules for next year's worship.

Quaker identity workshop

As expected, the workshop I had put together for the week needed most of my attention during Gathering. I needed to be attentive to facilitating large and small group discussion, introducing exercises, and answering questions for more than 2-and-a-half-hours each day for five days.

A large part of the work was to hold the space, day after day, in the worshipful context of carrying out a Big Experiment. I had little idea how one piece might connect with another, and I was conscious of just being faithful in offering whatever the very next piece in front of me was.

At one point, first thing on Wednesday morning, the group made it clear to me that they were eager to return to an exercise that we had only touched on the day before. It didn't take much to reconfigure the activities for the day and the remainder of the week, and WOW, did they sink their teeth into the exploration of what goes into making up a Quaker identity!

UPDATE: Here are links about the workshop experience itself:
The first long entry
The second long entry

Hunger for a God-based or Christ-based Quakerism

Many Friends in the workshop indicated they chose the workshop because the description included the note that the "presenter's Quakerism is God-based; workshop draws on that orientation."

While there is relief in being able to talk openly about our belief in God, I must acknowledge the gift of knowing and talking with nontheist Friends: I believe we hone each other's thinking, inviting one another to become more articulate in and expressive of our faith and of what we believe. And it is becoming more and more clear to me as well, that what matters is how we live our lives: Are we loving? Are we kind? Do we work for reconciliation and healing? Do we work for peace? Do we live peaceably?

Also, borrowing from a tradition in my worship group, there was a growing sense of spiritual power each day as we took time to worship and reflect on the quality of worship we had just experienced. Friends affirmed the sense of connectedness and Presence, and I was pleased by the response of Friends when I explained that if we have trouble articulating these things among one another—Friends who have experienced months if not years of worship—how can we expect to convey and articulate to newcomers and younger people coming up in our meetings our deep faith and sense of the Living Presence among us?

There is much more to share, but for now let me stop here, catch up a bit on my rest, and return with more news of the Gathering.

Blessings,
Liz

Quaker Identity: Yearning, Forming, Deepening

Now that the 2005 FGC Gathering is over, the link that used to show the entire description for the workshop on Quaker Identity no longer exists. I am creating this post, therefore—and using an artificial date to reflect the approximate date(s) when the workshop was offered—so readers of The Good Raised Up can still gain an understanding of what the goals, background, and topics of this workshop were initially.

When I post a more current blog entry about the experience of actually facilitating the workshop (3-8 Seventh Month 2005), I'll include that link here as well.  —Liz

UPDATE: Here are links about the workshop experience itself:
The first long entry
The second long entry

Short description, 50 words or less:

There is a difference between spiritual formation and spiritual formation of a Quaker identity. Through personal sharing we may alleviate some of our spiritual hunger, explore what builds identity, and experience some of what may contribute to a meaningful Quakerism. Presenter’s Quakerism is God-based; workshop draws on that orientation.

Worship 30%; Lecture 20%; Discussion 30%; Experiential 20%

Detailed description:

Being engaged with Friends who grow us in our Quakerism also nourishes our Quaker identity. Spiritual formation can occur in the midst of a group that practices a variety of spiritual disciplines (spiritual individualism)--or without any religious community at all--while the formation of a Quaker identity is cultivated and strengthened within a Quaker context and through other Quaker connections. Our ability to define ourselves as Quakers, to sustain our Quakerism during difficulties, and to pass our Quaker faith and tradition onto attenders and onto younger Friends might well rest on our ability to articulate, communicate, experience, and live out elements of our Quakerism, individually and corporately.

TOPICS I hope we will address:
1. stages of identity development and spiritual maturity
2. cycle of (community) relationships and development
3. peer transmission and multi-generational transmission of faith and practice
4. dualities and paradoxes among Friends (e.g. the desire to be inclusive and the desire for a shared faith; implicit and explicit Quakerism)
5. spiritual discernment and faithfulness
6. eldership as important tradition and practice, both giving and receiving
7. what nourishes us as Friends

The direction of the workshop and its pace will emerge out of the needs and interests of the group rather than being strictly dictated by me as a workshop presenter. If you prefer a firm leadership style and clear outline of what is to be covered rather than a fluid workshop experience, this workshop may not be right for you.

This workshop is driven in part by FGC’s Long Term Plan, and in particular one of its finer points:

“[to] help Friends engage in a continuing process of renewing and integrating their experiences of the historical, spiritual and theological foundations of Quakerism…”

This workshop will NOT cover the historical development of Quakerism. We will focus on our own experiences rather than on those of well-known Quakers.

Some resources:

BOOKS--
Essays on the Quaker Vision of Gospel Order, Lloyd Lee Wilson
Testament of Devotion, Thomas Kelley
Resistance and Obedience to God: Memoirs of David Ferris, ed. Martha
Paxson Grundy
Our Quaker Identity, Alastair Heron
Listening Spirituality, Vol. II, Patricia Loring

PAMPHLETS--
The Authority of Our Meetings Is the Power of God, Paul Lacey
Quaker Treasure, Martha Paxson Grundy
Leading and Being Led, Paul Lacey
Gospel Order, Sandra Cronk
Deepening the Spiritual Life of the Meeting, Edward Hoare
Members One of Another, Thomas Gates

To order any of the above items, contact QuakerBooks of FGC.