I am nearing a crossroads.
I feel the inward pull of the Spirit to put certain thoughts to paper, to put fingers to the keyboard. To be obedient to this call, to test it and dwell deep in it, I sense I must lay down some other activity and make room.
I find I am living with the question:
Were I not to read these Quaker blogs, nor spend time writing for The Good Raised Up, might I turn my attention more fully to the writing that God now calls me to?
My heart feels a bit heavy and I begin to bargain.
Might I not blend the two?I know I must give up these questions. I must give up my own wants and preferences. I must give up myself to God and to God's work, and the rest will follow.
Might I allow a day (or two...?) for blog reading and blog writing, and reserve the other days for pursuing the new work?
If I were granted another Opportunity to share what I feel I am holding, would I not feel more certain of dedicating more time to this new writing?
My heart knows this but my body, my fingers resist.
I'll close this brief post with two quotes from the journal of John Woolman.
The more fully our lives are conformable to the will of God, the better it is for us; ...to consider whether we employ our time only in such things as are consistent with perfect wisdom and goodness. (Chapter six, during the time of a smallpox epidemic)Blessings,
Then the mystery was opened and I perceived there was joy in heaven over a sinner who had repented, and that the language "John Woolman is dead," meant no more than the death of my own will. (Chapter twelve, the 26th of Eighth Month)