Packing interrupted

I'm forcing myself to interrupt my preparation for the annual sessions of Iowa Yearly Meeting (Conservative) so that I can spit out a blogpost that's been sitting with me recently.

I've been reading a few pages a day of Fit for Freedom, Not for Friendship. Some of it is truly educational, at least for me, like the two competing abolition movements among Friends: one that advocated for the gradual ending of the slave trade--first by prohibiting the importation of Africans to the colonies, then moving into requiring the freeing of enslaved Africans and African Americans--and the other advocated for immediate emancipation of all those who were enslaved.

Other parts of the book--at least, the first few chapters--have been rather horrifying and ego-busting, like just how few Quakers of European descent truly worked for abolition and how many Quakers were reluctant to give up their privilege of "owning" one or more Africans. ....I'm pretty sure if I had been an adult back in those days, I would have been among those who enslaved my African brothers and sisters. ...though I'd like to think, too, that I would have been opened by the Spirit and would have lent my help in some regards to the Underground Railroad or other elements of the abolitionist movement, but it's hard to know for sure. After all, these days I'm still slow to act when I see an injustice occur...

And still other parts of the book are kind of a mirror for today. Back then, there were extremely wealthy Quakers of European descent who could direct enormous sums of money to efforts like the establishment of schools for emancipated African Americans. It makes me reconsider just where am I directing my surplus money? Am I sacrificing enough? It can't possibly be rightly ordered for me to hold onto my financial privilege, so how hard will it be for me to surrender to just what is rightly ordered?

This book is not just about debunking "the myth of racial justice." It's also about allowing God to transform the book's readers by way of seeing how Friends from earlier times either turned from the Light or heeded it.

Blessings,
Liz

To clerk or not to clerk...

Recently the informal fellowship-through-singing group of Quakers called Nightingales got together at a family farm in Wisconsin.

In recent years, we've been moving through a transition that has meant saying goodbye to many of the long-time Friends who founded Nightingales. Most have either passed away or have become too frail to participate. As most of these "Celestial Mamas" have left us, their biological and spiritual offspring have been reluctant to step forward, but we've kept at it anyway. The thought of not having Nightingales is more painful than the work of understanding who we are as the torch is passed to us.

We still gather about once a quarter to sing, eat, and camp. We still take work-shifts to help with food prep and clean-up. We still rent a Port-a-Potty and set up tents on people's land. And we still wrestle with how to welcome newcomers and who will say any words of explanation about "Nightingales' culture"--like, that we encourage folks to look into people's eyes and sing to one another, rather than have our noses pointed into our songbooks.

Or that we have no designated leader but we ask that each person pick a song and then wait for others to have a chance to pick a song before requesting another one.

Or that we allow the person who has requested a song to start it off as she or he wishes, to set the pitch and tempo, to select any alternate verses we are to sing (or skip), to ask someone else to start the song if he or she doesn't want to do so.

It sounds like a lot to keep track of, but in practice it's very very simple.

There's a comfort in sinking into the small pools of silence that frame each song, allowing us to consider what song to ask for next, or letting us absorb the tenderness of a hymn we just sang with especially sweet and delicate harmonies.

There's another element to being a non-hierarchical Quaker-based somewhat-transient fellowship of Friends, and that is that on occasion, we have a request to address some business as a group.

Maybe it's that there's a request for us to consider holding Nightingales at a campsite or joining with our smaller sister group to the south, the Meadowlarks, composed of Friends from Iowa Yearly Meeting (Conservative).

Or maybe there's a concern that we don't make explicit enough the extent to which we welcome and incorporate children and young families, and we take some time to consider that need and craft some language that may (or may not) be used in future mailings.

Lately, there's been a repeated concern about how we can be consistent from gathering to gathering so Friends may find it easier to join with us: What if the gatherings were the same weekend in April, July, and October? What if we had some guidelines around how many stories can be shared before introducing a new song?

At the recent spring Nightingales, there had been some discussion about how to be more welcoming, how to make the most out of our time together, and how to "foster gathered singing," but what wasn't clear was what to do about that discussion. So it was that when we gathered for our summer Nightingales, a Friend asked that we have a short business session to follow up from spring.

When the time came, though, the Friend realized she was not in a place to clerk, and the question came up, Who will clerk the session?

A number of what I think of as "clerking decoys" were offered:

What if we each just said what we wanted to say and made sure there was time between each sharing?

How 'bout we go through the list of topics that was brought up last time?

Let's just do worship-sharing around whatever the concern is.

Why not use a talking stick?

That last offering, as many readers might guess, turned my stomach. So of course that's when I spoke up:

All of us here are at least familiar with Quaker practices so I prefer we not use a talking stick!

Eventually, and in part because I felt a couple of Friends were hopeful I'd offer to clerk, I went on to say that I felt like we often talk about these same topics--how do we become more welcoming; what would help us be more consistent from gathering to gathering; how do we get the word out that Nightingales is gathering again...?

I think I also added something like, Rather than rehash these same topics, I think we have to start living into the answers.

To say the least, I was frustrated. We ultimately moved on to firm up plans for fall Nightingales (in October, outside of Milwaukee) and for spring Nightingales (in April, hopefully at the same camp in western Wisconsin where it was held this past spring).

But what I came home with and have been reflecting on are two questions:

When does a gathered body need a clerk, and when does it just need space to reflect on something together?

and

Would Nightingales be served if one or two Friends were identified ahead of time to step in as clerk if a matter came up that warranted clerking?

Of course, as an ad hoc group with little infrastructure between gatherings, there's no clear process to nominate anyone, other than in the moment.

But as I was re-reading the summary of spring's discussion, I saw these two things, which had a way of making the other concerns melt away:

We like to talk with each other and we don't want too many rules.

And:

We come together to sing because we love each other.

I would add:

We come together to sing because we love singing with each other. Somehow the Spirit just rises up in all of us, singing, and we are gathered in that experience.

Blessings,
Liz

Chart of intersection between "belongings" and themes from Thomas Gates

NOTE: This chart is more extensive than the one I embedded in the previous post (I had abridged it for easier reading, but oh well). At least one reader reported to me she had trouble viewing the first chart.

Note, too, that many of the terms and phrases in the far left column come directly from Thomas Gates' pamphlet Members One of Another. The notation I used in the previous chart didn't carry over to this one... and neither did any of the links, it turns out.

Blessings,
Liz

Love and Belonging:  Consideration of how we as Friends belong to one another, to Quakerism, and to God, regardless of how long we have been among Friends.

	Belong to one another	Belong to Quakerism	Belong to God/Love
Welcome & Acceptance	provide and request care and nurture
	be there for one another (crisis of faith; marriage; memorials; clearness; etc.)
	be curious about the movement of the Spirit, of Love, in one another's lives
Shared Values	participate in one another's lives, not just knowing about each other	commit to engage in Quaker practices and disciplines	maintain Love at the center of our life and faith
		be active in the life of the Meeting during and between Meetings for Worship	waiting upon the Light in times of difficulty3
		act together and reflect together on Root and fruit of the Testimonies (indiv and corporate levels)
Transformation	share our ministries, leadings, and struggles with one another; be vulnerable with each other	be willing to seek new Light in difficult times and from difficult people; be willing to wrestle with others	be willing to grow into our measure of Light
	bear witness to the transformation of one another	provide mutual accountability and mutual encouragement	be willing to wrestle with God
Obedience		test our leadings with one another	Engage in faithfulness and a humble obedience; be willing to yield
		"exhort one another daily" to be faithful to how we are called1
Caution	feeling accepted does not provide an automatic "in" for membership; feeling accepted does not mean individualism and secularism should replace tending to the Root and minding the Light	can the Meeting allow itself to grow because of a Friend's ministry/new Light?  "what is important is not how far one has traveled, but rather one's commitment to travel this particular path we call Quakerism"2	can the Meeting allow its members to grow beyond the confines of the Meeting; can we avoid pressuring one another to conform to the Meeting's "culture"?
Challenge	inconvenience ourselves to make time for others	inconvenience ourselves to uphold Quaker practices and to grow as a Meeting	inconvenience ourselves to receive God's love, to be broken open, to be obedient to God's call

1.  Epistle XXII, by George Fox.

2.  Members One of Another, by Thomas Gates, p. 36

3.  see Epistle X, by George Fox.

Notes from the presentation "On Being A Quaker"

At the end of June, I met with Friends and spoke (mostly) out of the silence on the topic On Being A Quaker. Normally for a presentation or workshop, I use a combination of outline and mindmap, but the closer I got to actually opening my mouth for this event, the more strongly I understood that I was supposed to lay aside my handwritten notes and speak out of the silence.


The outward preparation

Originally, I was thinking of what it means to be "a new kind of Quaker" as compared to "an old kind of Quaker." But I kept coming back to the theme of belonging to one another, belonging to Quakerism, and belonging to God.

As I was rereading Thomas Gates' pamphlet Members One of Another, I found myself drawn into considering how his themes of transformation and obedience intersect with the theme of belonging, and so I took some time to clarify what was beginning to take shape in me by creating a chart, which I've included below.


The inward preparation

A few things caught me by surprise.

One was that a few weeks prior to the 2-hour presentation, I became clear that I needed to have a companion in ministry--what used to be called an elder. I hadn't requested that sort of spiritual companionship for a short thing like this but I'm glad I did for this occasion. One person's name rose up for the Friend who was providing all the arrangements--and it was a person I had met literally just three or four week's prior. It all felt rightly ordered.

I also put out a number of prayer requests--again, not something I had done for other presentations. One Friend offered to bring the prayer request to a group of Friends she knew who intentionally prayed for traveling ministers.

And just a few minutes before I was to begin speaking at the event, I sat with my companion in ministry on the back stoop of the meetinghouse, overlooking the Meeting's very old cemetery. I felt myself being called out by the presence of those Friends long buried, and I sensed their affirmation of the need for me to "go deep" and stay deep during my remarks.

The last thing that caught me off-guard was the number of times that I myself was moved to tears as I was speaking! I recall the Power that was expressed, for example, when I spoke about the need for us to make ourselves vulnerable with one another, to be deeply authentic, as a way for us to belong to one another and to understand how it is that the Spirit is moving among us... that we cannot keep the stories of how the Spirit is prospering in our lives out of a secular need confidentiality, for if I, as a new or maturing Friend, never or seldom hear these stories from my Quaker brothers and sisters, from my Quaker parents and grandparents, how am I to know what such movement of the Spirit looks like or feels like or is like? How is a newer Friend supposed to learn these things...?


A synopsis of what I shared

As what sometimes happens when I speak out of the silence during a Meeting for Worship, I don't recall exactly what I said, though I did touch on a number of things I had previously written down for myself, about how we might go about inviting one another to consider how we as Friends belong to one another, to Quakerism, and to God, regardless of how long we have been among Friends--that is, regardless of whether we are a "new kind of Quaker" or an "old kind of Quaker."

And after organizing my notes and my thoughts into a systematic whole--a chart!--I realized that if I had had the opportunity, I may have changed the title of the presentation:

Love and Belonging: Consideration of how we as Friends belong to one another, to Quakerism, and to God, regardless of how long we have been among Friends.

Or maybe I would have called it "Transformation and Obedience," since those are the threads I seemed to return to...

Anyway, below is the main part of the chart I created and referred to during my message. It's not complete by any means, so feel free to shape it and rework it and fill it in or expand it as you feel led.

In particular, I paid attention to the "cautions" and the challenges or "inconveniences" of each of these layers of spiritual development and belonging. I also emphasized the word "belonging" by breaking that word apart:

BE ... LONGING,

as in:

Be longing for one another;

Be longing for Quakerism; and

BE longing for God.

At the very end of the evening, I closed with a number of queries that had arisen for me as I was finishing up my outward preparation, so I share those after the chart.

NOTE: In the chart, I use the notation TG, in brackets, to refer to language used by Tom Gates in his pamphlet.

(UPDATE: If you have trouble viewing the chart below, or to view a more extensive version of this chart, click here.)

TOPIC	Belong to one another	Belong to Quakerism	Belong to God
WELCOME & ACCEPTANCE [TG]	Provide and request care and nurture; be curious about the movement of the Spirit, of Love, in one another's lives
SHARED VALUES [TG]		Act together and reflect together on the Root and fruit of the Testimonies, on indiv and corporate levels; commit to engage in Quaker practices and disciplines	Maintain Love at the center of our life and faith; wait upon the Light in times of difficulty
TRANSFORMATION [TG]	Share our ministries, leadings, and struggles with one another; be vulnerable with each other and bear witness to the transformation of one another	Be willing to seek new Light in difficult times and from difficult people; be willing to labor with others	Be willing to wrestle with God; be willing to grow into our measure of Light
OBEDIENCE [TG]	"Exhort one another daily" to be faithful to how we are called	Test our leadings with one another; provide mutual accountability and mutual encouragement	Engage in faithfulness and a humble obedience; be willing to yield
CAUTION	Feeling accepted does not provide an automatic "in" for membership; feeling accepted does not mean individualism and secularism should replace tending to the Root and minding the Light	Can the Meeting allow itself to grow because of a Friend's ministry/new Light? "what is important is not how far one has traveled, but rather one's commitment to travel this particular path we call Quakerism" [TG, p. 36]	Can the Meeting allow its members to grow beyond the confines of the Meeting; can we avoid pressuring one another to conform to the Meeting's "culture"?
CHALLENGE	Inconvenience ourselves to make time for others	Inconvenience ourselves to uphold Quaker practices and to grow as a Meeting	Inconvenience ourselves to receive God's love, to be broken open, to be obedient to God's call

The queries I shared

What new ministries or new messages are emerging, or are struggling to emerge in the meeting? Who is carrying them? Are the Friends who resist the new Light being held in Love? How ready is the meeting to outgrow its old skin? Can the meeting allow its members to grow beyond the abilities and even the identity or culture of the meeting? What would help?

What ministries have long-time Friends brought into the current life of the meeting? What of their Light and spiritual gifts still needs attention and nurture? Can the meeting live into the tension between supporting the emerging ministries and laying down the ones that may be outliving their usefulness, and can that be done with compassion and care for all involved? Can the meeting embrace both fresh and “institutionalized” perspectives, allowing each to inform the other? Does the meeting grieve together what was, in fair balance with rejoicing what is being birthed?

What would it mean if we saw Quakers as one family? How do we wish to treat our younger and older brothers and sisters? Do we feel like we belong to one another, that we belong to God? What would help?

If your meeting and you heard that Quakerism offers you and the meeting more than what you and the meeting are currently experiencing, would you be interested? Would your meeting be interested? When has God called you to be More than Who You Are, and to what extent were you able to live into that call? Are you willing to let go of “your version” of Quakerism to discover how else the Spirit is moving through Friends?

As always, thanks for reading me.

Blessings,
Liz