New blog - Moving towards Stillness

Tony B has begun sharing his experience among Friends on the blog Moving Towards Stillness. I find his posts to be tender and personal. Perhaps you will too.

Blessings,
Liz

Spiritual refugees and spiritual safety

I spent some time on First Day reflecting on the concept of being a spiritual refugee. Such a concept was alluded to during Meeting for Worship today, and I realized that in order for one to seek refuge--to be a refugee--one must feel unsafe in existing circumstances and therefore take action to protect oneself, often by fleeing, by heading "anywhere but here."

Those of us who come to Friends are occasionally referred to as spiritual refugees, not religious ones. So what's the difference?

My guess is that there is a difference of degree and of level of systemization. My understanding is that a religious refugee has experienced a great deal of persecution, oppression, and trauma from a religious institution that likely can be identified as intentionally having inflicted harm--physically, emotionally, or psychologically--under the guise of religion.

But what has a spiritual refugee experienced? Perhaps the spiritual refugee has also experienced a degree of suffering or dissatisfaction, but not as severe and not as systemically institutionalized as what is caused by the abuse of religious power in the case of religious persecution.

In my case, the synagogue of my childhood did not intentionally harm me. Nevertheless, as a young adult I was disillusioned by the lack of integrity between prayer and deed, and by the distance between their God Up There and my God Down Here.

The religion and practices of my youth never really spoke to me. My Judaism was hollow; my Quakerism is alive and vibrant. It is not so much that I fled Judaism as much as it was that I sought a different, more integrated experience between the faith and the worshiper.

Another facet of this topic relates to a similar difference between religion and spirituality. Religion is institutionalized, systematized, and impacts a body of worshipers; spirituality is kept more to the individual level and the personal I-Thou relationship. A religious refugee comes out of a systemic experience; a spiritual refugee comes out of a personal one.

Part of what Quakerism offers me, I have found, is a sort of spiritual safety that addresses my personal spiritual concerns. I am talking about something else beyond the initial "I feel as though I am Home" experience. There is something that exists and is experienced after we have come through the doors of our Meetinghouses and have decided to stay awhile.

For me, the open worship of unprogrammed meeting creates a safe space that allows me to connect with the Divine without being told how I might make that inward journey. It is up to me, and at last, I have the space to participate in that journey on my own. It is up to me, and between me and my God, for me to discover what I believe, what I will stand for, and how I will live in integrity.

It is as though the silence commands it.

Having said that, given my experience that the silence is where God lives and can be heard, why wouldn't I want to protect that worshipful space?

Here's another element of how a sense of spiritual safety is created for me during meeting for worship: I find that there is a "leveling" that occurs within the silence of open worship. The silence makes us equal to one another, and equal to God who also sits amongst us.

When I have risen to offer vocal ministry, all I have feared is whether or not I was being faithful to the message I had been given, not how I might be judged or challenged after I sit back down. Somehow the silence embraces me and cradles me, like a loving parent who knows that her or his child has done well, even if nothing comes of it.

Again I ask: Why wouldn't I want to protect that worshipful space, where I feel such unconditional love?

Well, sometimes we are slow to act. We may not know that our spiritual safety has been threatened or encroached upon. I don't think American society understands what spiritual safety is. If that is so, then how can we care for something that we don't have awareness of yet?

On top of that, take that lack of corporate clarity about what creates and maintains a sense of spiritual safety and add to it a practice of "love one another first, confront one another later," and our meetings become ripe for intentional or unintentional spiritual disruption.

A few years ago, when a visitor stood in the middle of one Meeting for Worship and began to pass out flyers about an activity he was wanting us to know about, I expected the spiritual safety of the worship to be protected. It took a while--a few Friends stumbled with how to address this man's insistence on sharing the papers he had brought--but in the end, I felt the meeting responded well.

The spiritual safety of our meetings is precious, and I worry that we spend too little time affirming it and being intentional in how to safeguard it.

To be clear, I personally don't want our meetings to become nothing more than sanctuaries for spiritual refugees. I want the walls of our spiritual river banks to be free of holes and outlets so that we can sink into deep waters... and trust that we are still spiritually safe with one another.

Blessings,
Liz

P.S. For more specific examples of real-life creative, spontaneous solutions to spiritual disruptions in Quaker meetings, there is this pamphlet that focuses on just that: example, solutions, and healing.

Giving myself up to God's work

I am nearing a crossroads.

I feel the inward pull of the Spirit to put certain thoughts to paper, to put fingers to the keyboard. To be obedient to this call, to test it and dwell deep in it, I sense I must lay down some other activity and make room.

I find I am living with the question:

Were I not to read these Quaker blogs, nor spend time writing for The Good Raised Up, might I turn my attention more fully to the writing that God now calls me to?

My heart feels a bit heavy and I begin to bargain.

Might I not blend the two?

Might I allow a day (or two...?) for blog reading and blog writing, and reserve the other days for pursuing the new work?

If I were granted another Opportunity to share what I feel I am holding, would I not feel more certain of dedicating more time to this new writing?

I know I must give up these questions. I must give up my own wants and preferences. I must give up myself to God and to God's work, and the rest will follow.

My heart knows this but my body, my fingers resist.

I'll close this brief post with two quotes from the journal of John Woolman.

The more fully our lives are conformable to the will of God, the better it is for us; ...to consider whether we employ our time only in such things as are consistent with perfect wisdom and goodness. (Chapter six, during the time of a smallpox epidemic)

Then the mystery was opened and I perceived there was joy in heaven over a sinner who had repented, and that the language "John Woolman is dead," meant no more than the death of my own will. (Chapter twelve, the 26th of Eighth Month)

Blessings,
Liz

Supporting one Friend's leading:Rainbow Rumpus

I'm excited to share the fruits of one fFriend's labor and faithfulness to her call:

Friend Laura Matanah has just helped launch an online magazine, Rainbow Rumpus, an internet resource for kids of LGBTQ parents, their families, and their friends. You can read Laura's announcement below, and under that there is a press release.

I took a look briefly at the website and enjoyed reading the section that is for parents. I learned how much work there is yet to do, all because of a search to have a children's choir record Fred Small's song Everything Possible.

Please consider sharing this announcement and website with others, especially with children and families.

Let us try what love will do.

Blessings,
Liz

. . . . . . . .

Message from the editor:

Dear Rainbow Rumpus supporters-

We've done it! The first issue is online. Thanks to all of you for your support. Click beneath my name to view the issue. Sit down with your kids and surf through it. Let us know what you think.

Then pass the word along. Send the press release below to your local paper if you're not in Minneapolis. Join us as a sponsor. Put content from our site on your own. Let's make sure every child in the country with LGBT parents, and all their friends, know we're here.

Laura Matanah, Publisher
Rainbow Rumpus
Email: editor AT rainbowrumpus DOT org

. . . . . . . . . .

PRESS RELEASE:

MINNEAPOLIS. Rainbow Rumpus, a new on-line magazine for kids with lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender parents, debuted Thursday, November 10, 2005. Rainbow Rumpus features children's stories, poetry, drawings, cartoons, songs and videos. The magazine breaks new ground as it is the first publication by and for young children with LGBT parents.

"Rainbow Rumpus has attracted an amazing level of talent," says Laura Matanah, the magazine's publisher. "The members of our author advisory board--Marion Dane Bauer, Nancy Garden, Gregory Maguire, and Jacqueline Woodson--are all noted authors in the world of children's literature. The magazine also will feature music for children. The first issue will include a song by two-time Grammy Award winning children's musicians Cathy Fink and Marcy Marxer."

How Rainbow Rumpus Began

Rainbow Rumpus was conceived when Matanah's daughter was looking at a small photo in the Human Rights Campaign's magazine Equality. She exclaimed, "Look Mommy! A picture of two moms and twins! It's just like us!"

Thus the light bulb went off for the need for a magazine for children of LGBT parents.

"I'm so excited to provide a venue for this work," Matanah said. "Our children want to see images of their families. So far there haven't been many places for people to publish. The controversy surrounding the 'Postcards with Buster' episode [a PBS television show featuring a cartoon rabbit who in one episode visits a Vermont dairy farm run by a lesbian couple and their children] shows how hard it is to distribute work featuring families with LGBT parents."

The first issue of Rainbow Rumpus contains an essay by Emma Riesner, one of the children featured in the Buster episode, about having her family be the focus of a national controversy regarding images of same-sex parents.

In addition to artistic content, Rainbow Rumpus will have a bulletin board for children to create a virtual community. "It will be a great way for children in rural areas or suburbs to connect without fear of being teased about their family," Matanah said. There will also be age-appropriate information on political issues affecting LGBT headed families.

Rainbow Rumpus has incorporated a non-profit in Minnesota. Board members are Matanah, Patt Ligman and Laura Rede. Matanah and Ligman have previous publishing experience. Rede is a children's author.

The magazine is soliciting work from both established and emerging children's authors and artists. Readers, authors and artists can get more information by emailing .