A changed mind about Godly Play

Over the past few months, beginning sometime in the Fall of 2008, the children who are part of the worship group I attend have been having their own experience with the Spirit, and they have been learning about some of the Biblical and Christian roots of our tradition as they do it.

The five children, ages 3-8 or so, are not being talked at. They are not poring over a Children's Bible. They are not being read to, and they are not being forced to sit in worship. They are not even clamoring to go outside as the weather warms up (if you can call 40-45 degrees "warm").

Each First Day, after spending 10-15 minutes in worship with everyone, they are shepherded to another room by an adult, where they calmly gather and sit on a rug, meeting the gentle gaze of the Friendly storyteller who greets each by name.

They all know what's coming: an important story told in a very simple way that they can understand but which won't require them to answer questions or repeat back anything they've heard.

On the occasions that I'm with the children, I'm there only to be present, to get a feel for what the kids are experiencing. There's no disciplining, no telling a child to stop fussing with her shoelace or to sit up straight. It's a loose environment but not a chaotic one.

These young Quakers clearly want to be there, and after the 15 minute story, illustrated with simple props made out of paper, felt, and wood, the storyteller offers a few questions, which are more like statements or even musings:

I wonder what part of the story you like the best.

I wonder if you've ever experienced anything like what the character in the story did.

I wonder what you wonder about the story.

Maybe one or two kids answer; maybe none do.

At the end of the brief but slow wondering time, the storyteller invites them to pick out some art supplies--I wonder what you will work on today--and start their "work."

They are focused and clearly have gone to some deep and wordless place.

Siblings leave each other alone. No one suggests to anyone what colors to use or what shapes to draw. And everyone's work--their own expression of the story, of the Spirit, of their insides--looks completely different.

There are no copycats, not because they are told not to, but because they have been brought to their own Inward Teacher and are able to stay in touch with that Movement.

Once, when I was the storyteller, they were working so long with the art supplies that I briefly interrupted: I wonder who needs a lot more time to finish up. One of the children's arms shot into the air, a worried look on her face. I just nodded in acknowledgment. A few minutes later, she was done and we gathered together for a snack.

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I remember when the First Day School Committee brought the recommendation to the worship group that we invest the time, energy, money, and faith in bringing Godly Play* into the lives of our youngest attenders.

I remember the report included a statement from a parent, worried that the spiritual life of the children needed all of our care, attention, and nurture while they were all still young, lest the time go by and we adults would have provided so little...

I remember the gift we realized we had in our midst, that the childcare provider was also trained in the method and curriculum of Godly Play. We easily approved the recommendation that we draw on her gifts and work with her to give this First Day School program a real chance.

I have seen great and wondrous results of such movement of the Spirit through the use of Godly Play and its Quaker counterpart, Faith & Play. Both can be readily adapted for intergenerational settings, just by adding a few introductory explanations to adults.

At first I was skeptical about having props and objects to tell the stories, given that unprogrammed Quakerism is an apophatic tradition, one based on the stripping away of outward symbols and ritual in order to get to the essential heart of the faith: waiting on God.

But I could not deny that Something Was Happening within each child, and as the weeks have gone by, the parents have been telling a bit of what their children have talked about at home, about their experience of having heard the story on First Day.

And I could not deny that Something Has Happened even to the adults.

During this past week's intergenerational Faith & Play session, we heard a story about our Quaker practice of listening for God and how God touches our hearts in a special way when we worship together. (NOTE: The brief quotes that follow are from that story.)

For those adults who were new to Friends, it was a doorway into learning a bit more about Quakerism and how the Spirit "helps us to know how to love, what to do, and who to be."

For the kids, they had a number of examples of how to listen for God "with our whole selves," how we might experience God, and why waiting worship means so much to us.

For me who has no kids and who has been a part of the lives of these children and their families since the worship group got started, I finally had the opportunity to share in a corporate experience of what the children go through when they have a Godly Play session and come back to the room changed in some mysterious way.

Though using this Montessori-inspired approach to religious education requires training for the storyteller** and some arts-and-crafts sessions to get materials together, the spiritual gifts that my own worship group has received make me a believer.

I have felt myself brought to the Inward Teacher in the same way that a wise word offered by an elder might guide me; and I have witnessed what I believe to be a similar Motion of the Spirit in my fellow worshipers.

Blessings,
Liz

UPDATE, thanks to Su and her comment:
The 2009 FGC Gathering includes a week-long workshop on Godly Play. Look at Workshop #20 (2009 roster) for a description; the workshop leader, Michael Gibson, has been one of the co-authors for the Faith & Play materials.

*Unfortunately, I have found that the Godly Play website for the U.S. is nowhere near as inspiring or creative as the curriculum itself, but if you want to read up on Godly Play from a more intellectual perspective, take a look. The U.K.'s website is more engaging, as is the FGC site on Faith & Play, which specifically focuses on Quaker stories and lessons in the manner of Godly Play.

**FGC, in cooperation with Pendle Hill, is offering a weekend teacher's workshop at Pendle Hill, May 15-17, 2009. To download a flyer for Playing in the Light, scroll down towards the bottom of this webpage and click on the link. [NOTE: I imagine the link will not be active or valid after the dates of the workshop.]

IYMC visits and a high school drop-in

It's been a busy start to the month, not including the historic presidential election.

Over the first weekend of the month, the worship group had three Friends from Iowa Yearly Meeting Conservative (IYMC) visit with us as we begin seeking affiliation with a yearly meeting.

Here are a few things that were notable to me:

1. The visit was arranged in just under three weeks, from the time we were given a date when all the visitors could make it to the time they actually arrived. During the one evening and one morning that the Iowa Friends were with us, all the children and all of the regular adult attenders participated in at least one significant portion of this very short visit--and we have six kids and nearly a dozen adults!

I consider this an indication that the Way is open for us to continue seeking affiliation with IYMC.

2. We were reminded to consider that any of us who have attended the annual sessions of IYMC have been witness to the clerking of only one presiding clerk, who has been serving for ten years or so. Since each presiding clerk has a unique style and perspective on how to go about attending to the business of the yearly meeting, the visitors encouraged us to consider that the current clerk is bringing a great deal of discipline (in the good sense of the word, in my opinion) to the body, and that this hasn't always been, and won't always be, the case.

This was a sobering thought to me, given how much I've appreciated the current manner and discipline of the body during their meetings for worship with attention to business at annual session.

3. The visitors, who are serving as a sort of membership clearness committee for us on behalf of IYMC--though it's for affiliation of the worship group, not membership of individuals--also cautioned us that IYMC at the level of its monthly meetings may not be all that different from Northern Yearly Meeting at the level of its monthly meetings, especially when considering the breadth of theological diversity of Friends there.

I find I'm less concerned about that point, given the frequent reference to Scripture and the greater proportion (it seems to me, at least at the yearly meeting level) of Friends who speak humbly of their walk with their God.

That was all just the first weekend of the month! Next week the worship group will reflect together on our experience with these Friends from Iowa, and we'll see how the Spirit moves among us at that point.

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Towards the end of the summer, while I was worshiping at the monthly meeting, a member of the meeting's First Day School Committee announced at the rise of meeting that the committee would be doing something new with the high schoolers this year: they would be seeking adults to be a Friendly Adult Presence (FAP) for that group for a month at a time.

The concern is that there continues to be a disconnect between the adults of the meeting and the oldest teens among us. For years, the teens haven't come to Meeting for Worship--not even with the younger kids for the first 15 minutes--and the adults don't make time to interact authentically with the teens, with the possible exception of the parents of their friends or their past FDS teachers.

For as long as I've been an adult among Quakers, I've been aware of my struggle of wanting to connect with teenage Friends but not wanting to "impose" myself on them, not wanting to just pop in and out of a conversation and pretend I've had a meaningful interaction with them.

I've been seeking a way to be engaged with them through some structured activity, and through my own authentic desire rather than through some "required" event. So when the announcement was made that there was a request for FAPs for the high school program, I volunteered on the spot.

Yesterday was my first drop-in there, since the first First Day was hang-out time for them at a coffee shop, the Friends from Iowa were visiting the worship group, and I'm no good around strangers when there isn't a structure. Seriously.

Yesterday was worship-sharing time around a query, and the adult leaders offered up the topic of equality, what that means, and how it may or may not relate to the presidential election. The teens outnumbered the adults by three to one, and I chose to pass the first couple of times, not sure of the lay of the land or what the teens might make of me.

As they opened up, so did I, and within a few minutes, we were talking about oppression, privilege, gay marriage, Obama, and everything else that would typically come up in a high-energy discussion about the state of things in our country.

I left that morning emotionally and spiritually spent, having opened myself to share about my relationship with my partner, an open letter I've sent to Barack Obama, and my concern for white privilege, especially among young white Quakers. I learned how seriously this group takes themselves when they're encouraged to share their views of the world.

The worship-sharing was so rich and intense and worshipful, it reminded me of the open Meetings for Worship that the high schoolers host at the FGC Gathering each year. My only hope is that I didn't outrun my Guide, and I'll be curious to see how the next few First Days in November go...

Blessings,
Liz

Companions and encouragement

This past First Day, the worship group had a Friend speak with us about her experiences traveling to meetings and isolated Friends prior to and early in the establishment of Northern Yearly Meeting. Raquel spoke about the "inventiveness" of a youthful yearly meeting like Northern, going on 35 years old, as compared to the settledness (my word) of a well-established yearly meeting like Iowa Yearly Meeting Conservative--approaching its 135th year.

She also encouraged us to consider writing a State of the Society report, if not for one yearly meeting or the other, then as an exercise for ourselves: it can be a way to take stock of where we are as a body and how the Spirit is moving among us.

Interestingly enough, the very subject of writing a "State of Society" has been part of a recent exchange between the past and current clerks of the worship group, given that we continue to look at the question of affiliation with a yearly meeting and how we might be helped to grow in the Light if we were accompanied by and connected to a larger body.

During the worship that followed, I found myself reflecting on something my partner and I had witnessed a week earlier, as we were walking along one of the many lakes in our area:

The lake still had a thin layer of ice on parts of it. Other areas near the shore had a slushy mix of ice, water, and vegetation. Near where we were, we noticed that a Canada goose was trudging through the slushy area and seemed to be having a difficult time of it.

Then we heard another single goose honking overhead, and it descended not far from the first, along the banks of a small island but in open water about a hundred yards away. The second goose began swimming slowly toward the first, letting out an occasional 'Onk! .... 'Onk! as it maneuvered on the outskirts of the ice floe that was separating the two.

The first goose laboriously picked up one webbed foot from the slush and then the other, unable to walk on the surface of the floe and unable to fly from it, either. But it was definitely headed in the direction from where the encouraging 'onks were coming.

And the second goose was slowly heading in the direction of the first, too.

We watched for several minutes, and finally the two geese were united with each other, free from the ice and slush of the lake's edge. A minute or two later, they flew from the lake and we continued on our walk.

It seems to me that in our own faith communities, we might call out to each other when we see a member of our community trudging through some difficulty. Even if at times we have to trudge through the emotional and spiritual slush of our lives on our own, we can be glad for the encouragement of our fFriends.

It seems to me that God calls to us and companions us, too, continuously and in love.

Blessings,
Liz

Two experiences of Meeting for Worship

As part of the ongoing discernment process of the worship group about where we might affiliate, we have begun a study of comparative readings between Liberal Friends and Conservative Friends. (Both of these branches worship in the unprogrammed manner of Friends.)

We're currently focused on parallel parts of Iowa Conservative's 1974 Book of Discipline and Northern Yearly Meeting's approved chapters of its first-ever Faith & Practice. This past week, we looked briefly at the sections on Meeting for Worship.

Though a number of us felt the two sections were "compatible," I myself noticed what for me are small-but-significant differences. Iowa's section mentions the Bible and refers to the Holy Spirit. There is also a brief explanation about the lack of outward sacraments:

The absence of outward rites and sacraments in Friends' worship is a result of our emphasis on the reality of the inward experience. Direct communion with God and the baptism of the Holy Spirit make the observance of rites unnecessary and even a hindrance to spiritual experience for some.

NYM's chapter, on the other hand, makes no mention of Scripture or the lack of ritual, possibly allowing for (or explaining?) the greater theological diversity among NYM Friends.

To NYM's credit, though, I appreciate the part within NYM's chapter on worship about vocal ministry:

Our Meetings for Worship go beyond private reverie. It is our experience that wherever two or more of us are gathered in expectant listening, the Spirit is in our midst. The quest for Truth among us is shared in community.

When I have experienced a gathered or covered meeting, it has felt to me like the worshipers have in fact "gone beyond private reverie" and have come into a sweetness and depth that is made all the more rich by the sense of having been yoked together in corporate worship and with the grace of the Presence...

But of course, reading about Meeting for Worship and experiencing it are two very different things, and no branch of Friends is immune from ever having a Meeting for Worship that feels disjointed.

What's timely about reading and reflecting on these passages about meeting for worship is that this past weekend, on two separate occasions, I experienced both a gathered meeting and a disjointed meeting.

On Saturday, a few of us went to the home of an aging Friend who can no longer get to the meetinghouse for worship. I would have expected us to fall into worship easily and deeply, uniting around our common fFriend, around a quiet celebration of being together. Instead, three of us fell asleep (or nearly so) and I had a hard time feeling connected or joined with the others in the Spirit. Maybe it was just too nice of a day to be inside; maybe it was just that I, and possibly others, couldn't transcend our "private reverie"...

The very next morning, though, I attended the earlier meeting for worship at the monthly meeting. Usually the group of worshipers numbers around thirty, with many more Friends going to the later worship, but this particular First Day morning, we numbered nearly fifty!

Over the last few weeks, many of us in the early MfW have been witnessing the decline of a beloved fFriend who, with his wife, has been attending meeting for many, many years but has consciously never pursued membership. This particular First Day, the fFriend was not there: we had received word that he had passed early on Saturday morning.

The thirty or so regular attenders, along with the additional twenty other worshipers, appeared to settle quickly and deeply into the silence. It was as if we were journeying together, continuing to accompany such a dear fFriend and his dear family, all the while being held and comforted by the Living Presence among us.

Away from the meeting, a Friend had recently remarked that as a worship community, we were united in our witnessing of the passing of a life. We were joined in our grief and we were truly holding one another up...

In that deep place, there had been more than a sense of individuals worshiping together, but a true sense of corporate worship, a movement that transcended each of our potential "private reveries" and instead united us, wordlessly, one unto another and all of us unto the Comforter.

When the Holy Spirit is felt by so many, what more can we do than take a few deep breaths and lean into the grace to accept every moment for what it is...

Blessings,
Liz

2007 report to Laughing Waters Friends

About a week before I read Peterson's post that includes his sort of "year in review," I had been preparing to share my own, in part because the online community of Quaker blogs has helped me articulate what has had been laid on my heart and how to address it.

What follows below is a report I presented recently at Laughing Waters Friends Worship Group, which has minuted its support of the call to ministry into which I've been living. I was unexpectedly very tender as I read this in front of the group: there is something about putting myself out there and being received with such love and presence.

I continue to carry the hope that more of our meetings will receive reports like this so we can gather a sense of how the Spirit is moving among us... and so Friends can become more aware of an otherwise invisible process about the support that is available when wrestling with leadings and struggling to be faithful, so that they too might feel encouraged in their striving to be obedient.

After all, it was only when I heard another Friend from another meeting share her report with her care-and-accountability committee (the Friend had invited me to sit in on it)--who in turn made a report about the Friend's obedience to the Spirit that ultimately was shared with the larger body--that I began to understand the importance of hearing from one another how the Truth is prospering among us.

My life as a Friend has never been the same since.

Blessings,
Liz

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First Month 2008

Condition of the call

How do we make explicit our faith and convey its traditions to one another, to newcomers, to young families who find their way to our meetings? What helps us sustain and strengthen our identity as Friends when we are surrounded by a culture that is in effect counter to Quakerism?

--excerpt from my 2006 report

One of the things I sit with as I prepare this annual report is the condition of the call, of the concern that I have been carrying over the past year or so. Does the concern still have Life? Am I still under the weight of it?

The inward answers to these questions bring up a sense of sadness: I know inwardly that the work that has been laid on my heart is not done, and even as I labor and share among Friends, I see more of the remaining work that needs tending.

It is like bringing a candle into an immense darkened ballroom or banquet hall: at the start, the first few feet from the entrance, if that, are all that are illuminated, and we may hesitate to move on. Yet by moving forward with the small light we are given, our memory of the entry will join itself with the experience and new memory of seeing evermore of the hall; and the farther we move into it, the greater the awareness of the space into which we travel, such that we may be nearly overwhelmed with the size of it—though the size of the spacious room itself has been there all along. Instead, what has changed is ourselves and our awareness, now we have had the room, the space, the work enlightened unto us. We are innocent no longer. We can blow out the candle but the new darkness will not extinguish the memory of what we had entered, what we had seen. Nor will it change the existence of the room itself and its vastness.

So it is that the spiritual room to which I have been called, the work which has been laid on my heart to carry, remains with me and seems all the larger, whether I am traveling among Friends or not. The carriage in my heart remains: to encourage one another to examine our faith tradition and share our understandings of the foundations of our practice; to encourage us to restore the Light of God to the center of our discernment; to remember that Love binds us to one another and that tender listening strengthens those bonds that would otherwise suffer and tear.

Faithfulness and being loving

A major theme that arose during the latter part of this year for me has been the intersection between being faithful as a Friend and being loving. When I was in the midst of exploring this topic, I wrote about my musings* on The Good Raised Up:

…Why haven't I internalized the message of "Be love" to the same degree that I have with "Be faithful"?

I could point to my religious upbringing and say I wasn't raised in the Christian faith, where perhaps [Jesus’] message of radical love would have been reinforced... but that wouldn't explain why I have internalized and embraced other parts of the Quaker discipline.

I wonder now if it's because as Friends we often encourage one another in our faithfulness by affirming, "Thee was faithful." My gosh, how many times have I myself commented on another's post, "It sounds like you are being faithful to what you have been given"?!

Yet I don't recall a time--ever--when I heard one Friend say to another, "Thee was loving."

Do I need to hear the words as well as see the actions that express and connote love? Am I that obtuse, that human, to need such repetition and reinforced modeling by so many others over such a long period of time?

Apparently so.

At the same time, I am struck over and over again by the tenderness, care, and love expressed in the letters and epistles of early Friends like Penington, Fox, Woolman. (The book I'm reading now, Quaker Spirituality, is feeding into all these questions I am having about the (unnamed) testimony of Love.)

A Hebrew prayer, revisited

For the last few weeks of 2007, for a reason that is apparent only now, I have found myself recalling bits and pieces of a Jewish prayer known as the V'ahavta: (see also Deuteronomy 6:5-9)

You shalt love the Lord Your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might... And these words which I command you this day shall be upon your heart... and you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and upon your gates....

I find I am being called to remember that it is not enough to be faithful or to speak the Truth as it is revealed to me. It is important to be faithful, to speak the Truth ...and to do so in Love.

I cannot dismiss how much internal work I have before me, to truly bring Love—God’s Love and God’s Love expressed through me—to all that I do, whether seeking or finding, speaking or discerning, laboring or listening.

Even as I yield to the Spirit and continue to give my life over to the service, I am often reminded by the Friends who serve as elders on my care-and-accountability committee that I focus too much on my own needs, my own views, my own judgment. I am reminded to stay low, to give my concerns over to God, to get out of my own way so that Spirit may breathe, break through, and transform whatever personal barriers I have created, reinforced, or imagined as real.

Maintaining the blog The Good Raised Up

The Good Raised Up continues to carry a sense of meaning for me and is helping me sustain a sense of faithfulness and a tenderness towards those who read it and comment on it, despite the fact that I have written fewer posts this year.

In addition, reading the blogs of other Quakers also has helped broaden and deepen my own understanding of Quakerism, across the branches and across the generations. I read others who lift up their concerns and questions, and we share our journeys in striving to be faithful to what we’ve been given, while also being loving.

What gifts did God give me this year?

The opportunity to serve as clerk of the Workshops Subcommittee for the 2007 Gathering of Friends General Conference brought me an unforeseen joy over a period of 14 months or so. By being faithful to how God was asking me to serve, and by leaning on the advice and counsel of others connected to the Gathering Committee and to FGC, myself and the rest of the sizeable committee of Friends from across the continent were able to maintain a refreshment of Spirit and a comraderie of fellowship over the year. I myself felt very well used during this period, and I also feel I have left a solid foundation on which subsequent committees can build.

I also count as a gift the challenge, care, accountability, and support of the committee of elders from the monthly meeting that has met with me every 4-6 weeks for two years now. These Friends help me stay rooted in love while striving to be faithful to what I’ve been given, whether I’m clerking a committee, participating in a retreat, or struggling with my humanness.

I equally count as a gift the steady nurture, care, and presence of Friends who worship with me weekly at Laughing Waters Friends Worship Group. Without your care and spiritual nurture, I would not be so readily sustained in the work I am given within the monthly meeting and elsewhere.

What is God calling forth in me?

As 2007 draws to a close, I am aware of two new openings for me to consider, test, and live into, at least for a while. One is a growing push or prod for me to “get what is in me out of me.” As far as I can tell, this is about starting to put onto paper many of the understandings, thoughts, and concerns I have stored up about Quaker identity. Instead of focusing on creating a manuscript proposal for a publisher to look at—which I was encouraged to do in 2004 or 2005—it’s become clear to me that I should write for the sake of writing, for the sake of getting my thoughts and ideas out of me and onto the page, whether electronic or paper.

The other opening I’ve had has been around eldership and spiritual companioning. I’ve had opportunities to provide spiritual support and to be a prayerful presence to a few people in 2007, including a traveling minister who visited with a few Friends in the area in July; and one Friend's request and invitation that I be part of an on-stage worshipful presence during her performance piece, Witnessing to a Murder.

The most surprising opening, though, came to my attention at the FGC consultation last November, when Friend Jan Hoffman was leading a small group in which I was participating. Here is how I described it in a personal correspondence:

[When] my small group leader during the consultation said to me, "You have a powerful gift of eldering," I froze. I have felt such a thing within me but have been cautious to point to it as anything in particular. Now I feel seen and exposed in one sense (by this Friend), but very invisible in another (by the meeting, which doesn’t formally recognize or acknowledge elders).

I also find that since this naming, I seem to yearn even more greatly for nurture and support if indeed I am to be called and called-out in this way.

So I sit with these openings and will wait to see how they might turn and evolve.

In service,
Liz Oppenheimer

*NOTE: The entire post on being faithful and being loving is here.

Three trips in three weeks

This week I head to the eastern U.S. to visit my folks in their new digs, have lunch with my 102-year-old grandmother, and attend the Central Committee meetings of Friends General Conference.

What's particularly interesting to me is that this year, I am attending Central Committee as a visitor, in part to see if there is still Life for me among these Friends and if I am called to reengage with this committee somehow.

Two days after I return, our small worship group gathers for our first-ever retreat, during which we plan to discover God's call for how to expand our relationships and our outward witness corporately, and how to live into God's plan for us as a worship group.

We've been using Tenth Month to offer activities and to lift up queries to children and adults to prepare ourselves:

• What is our existing network of relationships? In our current network of relationships, what diversity exists? What cross-cultural relationships exist, across lines of class, race, gender, sexual orientation, and other identities? Are we called into relationships that we aren’t currently in, either with particular individuals or groups, or to build cross-cultural relationships in a particular direction?


• What are the gifts and ministries that we each carry? Are there gifts and ministries has the worship group not yet seen? As a worship group, what are our collective gifts and ministries?


• How do we name and bring life to the divine order that God calls us to bring forth? What life do the following phrases have for us: Beloved community... City of God... Kingdom of God... Gospel Order? Beyond the names, how does this vision become specific, motivating, and vivid for us and others?


• What are the needs in the communities that we are connected with? What unmet needs weigh most heavily on our hearts? Is there a concrete need or task to be completed in the local community and/or neighborhood that can help us begin the work? In the communities we are connected with, who is most marginalized?

It's unclear just exactly how to structure the retreat itself, what activities to provide because the planning committee itself isn't clear. So we will wait until God gives us a clear instruction... In the meantime, the planning committee is filling up its "toolbox" with a number of ideas of discussion topics, worship opportunities, and more. As I have heard elsewhere among Quakers, "The Spirit favors the well-prepared."

Then, a few days after the retreat, I hit the road again and have plans to participate in FGC's consultation on gospel ministry. In FGC lingo, consultations are smallish to medium-in-size weekend gatherings of Friends around a particular topic, and the Friends who participate are there primarily by invitation by the sponsoring committee(s) or by FGC affiliated meetings at the committee's prompting (as best as I can understand, at least).

This particular consultation is being co-coordinated by the FGC Youth Ministries Program and by the FGC Traveling Ministries Program. I suspect there'll be a wonderful variety of Friends from the U.S. and Canada, as well as a mix of age-ranges, from pre-college teenage Friends to Friends in their 70s... or possibly beyond.

My personal, self-designated task is to let go of expectations and let these events unfold. But it's so easy for me to get superexcited about what might happen, who I might see, etc etc, so I hope to have the discipline to wait on the Lord, to breathe, to stay centered.

I hope to keep The Good Raised Up updated as I'm able.

Blessings,
Liz

Starting a new thingie

In recent posts by Nancy of Nancy's Apology and by Rob of Consider the Lilies, both these Friends are exploring new forms for worship--or, as Nancy puts it, experimenting with creating a "church thingie."

Experimenting with new things makes sense for those of us who hunger for meaningful experiences that are deep and full of capital-L Life. I suppose that's much of the unstated, unconscious explanation for why the worship group that I participate in got started.

Starting a new faith community "thingie" sometimes requires concrete planning, but I suspect more often it requires a clear leading and rootedness in one's inspiration--hopefully an inspiration that comes from the Spirit and not from one's ego. That's where talking with a few trusted others might be helpful, even if those few others serve as a short-term informal clearness committee.

I admit, though, that sometimes that inspiration can come from disappointment or frustration with the existing community. Sometimes it is easier and empowering for us to know what we want when it's looked at in relation to what we know we don't want.

I have always known inwardly that God does not want us to be unhappy. What is less clear to me is the place of intentional, community-based discernment and testing when one is so discontented and has already wrestled with the community. When is it okay to walk away and look to starting a new thingie?

. . . . . . . . .

Reading Nancy's and Rob's posts reminds me of a frequent conversation I have had with any number of Friends, all of whom had some concerns about how and why the worship group got started.

The worship group has been in place as a worship group for at least two years (before that, we were an informal fellowship group). We've hosted some informational sessions at other meetings to help address some of the most frequently asked questions, hoping to quell misperceptions and have people hear directly from us.

More than a year after those presentations, questions still linger and Friends still wonder. A conversation just last week pretty much followed the same progression as other conversations over the past two years:

Friend: So, why did you all decide to start a worship group when there are already other meetings in the area?

Me: It's not anything that we set out to do, actually. We were just a small group, getting together about once a month for fellowship and maybe for some worship "if the kids were quiet enough..."

Pause.

Friend: But why have a separate group? Why not be part of one of the existing meetings?

Me: Well, among the group of us, it seems like we get something out of having a belief in common, about the Divine and about how we can listen together for God...

Head nod. Pause.

Friend:Oh. You mean, you don't feel you can get that experience here...?

It's hard and sometimes tiresome for me to hear similar questions put forward from so many different people when I feel like we've done our part to communicate what we're about and why we're around.

On the other hand, the most recent conversation has given me a fresh opportunity to articulate who I am as a Friend and who the worship group is as Quaker body. And it's made me aware--again--that despite the announcements and presentations and one-on-ones, there will probably always be more questions to answer, more puzzlement to clear up.

On top of that, I'll have to think about what would happen if, when asked, "You mean you can't have that experience in the monthly meeting?" I would answer simply, "No, it doesn't seem I can."

Since the meeting is pretty clear about appreciating the theological diversity that exists there, I find myself affirming that I personally benefit from a sort of theological unity rather than spiritual diversity--though theological unity is not to be confused with theological uniformity, in much the same way that unity over an item at a business session is not the same as unanimity.

. . . . . . . . .

Another piece that Nancy's and Rob's posts have made me reflect on is that it seems no matter how careful we are about getting the word out about whatever "new church thingie" might be happening and however open it is, Friends are going to project onto it whatever unresolved issues or fears they still carry:

Divorce: Oh, you're starting a new group... Your splitting off from us.

Failing out of school: Oh, you're starting a new group... You think you've got the right answers and the rest of us are just getting it wrong!?!

Classism: Oh, you're starting a new group... It sounds pretty exclusive to me.

However, the conversations I've had in the past two years with Friends who are curious or genuinely concerned about the worship group have been some of the richest conversations I've had with local Friends in a long time, which feels very nurturing and, well... enriching. And I'd fathom a guess that the one-on-one conversations have had far more impact on these Friends than reading a history of the worship group that's printed in a newsletter or presented in a small pamphlet.

We never know when we'll be called to start a new thingie, and we also may never know that that's where we've been called until after the fact. Some things we just do, in the moment, because that's where God has put down the next stepping stone.

To be clear: the situations that Rob and Nancy are entering into seem very different from times when Friends come under the weight of a concern, or wrestle with seemingly being out of step with the meeting, etc. Theirs may not require the sort of disciplines I have written about, though having the support and mutual accountability that trusted fFriends can provide is still an important piece. We do the best we can with the information we have; we wait and hold and wonder and consider.

I'm not always clear about the need to have a clearness committee to test every single nudge and inward prompt we have. But I remain clear that we will know how well we were led and how faithful we were in following the leading by looking at the fruit that is borne of the thing, after we've walked on a few more stepping stones.

Blessings,
Liz

P.S. As an afterthought, I am suddenly reminded of one of my favorite series of books--and I am NOT an avid reader, by any stretch. Somewhat deep into the Alvin Maker series by Orson Scott Card, the reader learns that the protagonist has a leading to build a church.

FAQs about the worship group

Here and there, readers and others ask about the worship group in which I participate. I thought I'd post a few "Frequently Asked Questions" so they'd be in one place for now.

[UPDATE, Second Month 2008: Details about Laughing Waters Friends Worship Group can now be found at our website.]

[UPDATE: Based on some counsel from one of my blog elders, I want to remind readers that the writings I offer here and throughout The Good Raised Up are my own. In particular, I recognize that the language used to describe the Divine may not accurately reflect Friends' own experience of the Divine. —Liz]

1. How did the worship group get started?

It depends on who you ask.

One Friend in the group will point to a book group I organized 3-4 years ago, on Lloyd Lee Wilson's Essays on the Quaker Vision of Gospel Order. The book group brought a few of us together who liked what we read and hungered for more. [Update: Other Friends in the group remind me that a few of us had begun a Bible study group, which was also a very significant experience and added yet another thread to the tapestry.]

But I always point to Friend Elizabeth: in her classic Minnesotan way, one summer she quietly began making a few phone calls: "Oh hi. I'm just calling to see if you would like to come by for a visit today or tomorrow, maybe have a bit of worship..." Some days there'd be just Elizabeth and me; other days, each of our partners would show up. And every now and then a third couple would join us, and we would spend a little more time in worship each time we'd get together, along with a bit of 'visiting.'

Our summer 'visits' transitioned in the fall into monthly meetings for worship at someone's house, which later transitioned into gathering for worship every other Monday night, when we were all free. Eventually, as we recognized that we were being spiritually fed and nourished by communing with the Spirit during our time together, the worship group became the primary spiritual home for a few of us, and we became clear to begin meeting weekly on First Days (Sundays).

We've been convening ourselves for more than two years now, meeting weekly since maybe September 2004. In addition to the original three couples--and the original two wee ones--we've had two other Friends join us regularly, a few drop in visitors, and a new baby join us... with another one on the way!

2. Is the worship group currently under the care of a monthly meeting or affiliated with a yearly meeting?

No, it's not. We are in a long, rich, and deliberate discernment process (which sometimes looks like plain ol' waiting) about whether to affiliate with liberal Friends (Northern Yearly Meeting) or Conservative Friends (Iowa Yearly Meeting Conservative). (See #4 for more about Conservative Friends.)

We know NYM pretty well, since each of us comes with years of experience among these Friends. A few of us have visited IYMC annual and midyear sessions and have found our hearts and spirits made tender by the experience, in a way that hasn't happened for us at NYM. We continue to await clearness and Guidance, and we have asked to meet with Conservative Friends as Way opens, so we might learn more of that tradition and so they might help us understand how we are being called.

We are clear not to affiliate with a meeting at this time, physically or symbolically: we continue to meet in our homes, despite invitations to rent space from a local meeting.

3. How are other Friends in the area responding to your worship group?

Earlier there had been some talk among Friends about ours being a "secret" group or an exclusive one. We're relieved that the rumors about us being "secret" or "exclusive" are no longer around, from what I can tell. Though members of one monthly meeting in particular views the worship group as a "bud" of itself, we aren't spending energy diffusing this perspective, since it is a very sweet sentiment at its core.

4. Elsewhere you've mentioned that the worship group is "Conservative leaning" and that the group is discerning whether you are liberal or Conservative Friends. What does that mean?

Among us as a worship group, we have taken time to consider the different weight given to certain Quaker principles. What follows below, though, are my own expression of these principles, since we have not minuted formally any of our beliefs or practices:

• We unite in seeking and listening for the Spirit during our Meetings for Worship. With the variation of theology and spirituality among contemporary liberal Friends' meetings, there may be little or no commonality of how to participate in corporate worship.

• We give more weight to corporate discernment rather than to individual ideas. Liberal Friends more often seek to incorporate individual ideas and uphold individual leadings with less testing through a larger body.

• We are intentional and hold ourselves to greater discipline around seeking Divine Guidance and God's Will for us as we attend to business. Liberal Friends seem to be less disciplined around maintaining this intention: sometimes business sessions seem to tip the balance more to finding common ground and approving a particular good idea, rather than going a bit deeper into spiritual discernment to consider if in fact a certain direction is where God is wanting the meeting to go.

• We share and openly express a common belief in the centrality and presence of the Divine (God, Jesus, Spirit, the Light, etc.) in our individual and corporate lives. Liberal Friends typically have among them a spectrum of belief and practice that reflects "hyphenated" Quakers: Buddhist-Quakers, nontheist-Quakers, Jewish-Quakers. My limited experience of Conservative Friends seems to speak more to being Quaker-Quakers.

I use the phrase "Conservative leaning" because I--and we as a group--have not learned enough from Conservative Friends to know if we are Conservative Friends. I also use this phrase because it speaks more truthfully to my difficulty in remaining fully affiliated with the Hicksite monthly meeting that has care of my membership. Not to mention, it helps get a good conversation going about the branches of Quakerism!

The worship group is still learning what these principles mean, traditionally as well as geographically. Ohio Yearly Meeting Conservative,, North Carolina Yearly Meeting Conservative, and Iowa Yearly Meeting Conservative apparently each have a different feel in their faith and practice from one another.

5. How do you deal with the children in your worship group? And do you have regular business sessions?

The children are with us for the first part of worship, and they do well to join us in the silence. When we first started meeting regularly for worship, we would allow whoever was led to be with the children during worship, with one of the parents occasionally poking their heads in or whisking away a very discontented child. It was clear that some of us have less developed gifts to be with children than others. I surprised myself by wanting to be involved with the kids, and it's been easier for me to stay connected with them as they're getting older. Recently we've been experimenting with regular paid childcare, which for me is hard because of a sense of loss of personal connection... and we're not clear and have barely talked about any sort of religious education, either for the youngest of us or for the eldest of us. Stay tuned!

We don't yet have regular Meetings for Worship for Business. [UPDATE: In Fourth Month 2005, we approved holding MfWfB every other month.] We seem to wait for a few things to arise before we realize we need to carve out time to listen more intently to the Spirit as a body about how to proceed with certain concerns and ideas. The few times we've gathered for business, though, have also been rich and nourishing, and the sense of the Living Presence among us has been powerful as we seek to understand the sense of the meeting.

Here is the minute we approved at our first business session, describing who we understand ourselves to be:

Friends talked about a sense of cohesiveness among us and attributed it to the size of the group (being a small group) and to an intentionality to come together to seek, listen for, and love the Holy Spirit. We had a sense that what draws us together is the Spirit as opposed to historical concerns, social justice concerns, or Quaker literature. We give weight to how we wait on the Spirit--we talked about the discipline of patience, waiting, and listening.

We are laboring with the tension between the experience of worship and putting language to our experiences because language can be too small to describe the experience of worship.

All in all, this worship group has strengthened and sustained my Quakerism, which in turn has helped me stay connected, ironically perhaps, to the monthly meeting.

It's clear to me that the fruit of the Spirit is plentiful among us, and I pray we remain faithful as the worship group continues.

Blessings,
Liz

UPDATE: On 1 Sixth Month 2005, one couple within the worship group gave birth. Welcome, Grace! Out of curiosity, and with Grace's arrival, I calculated that the average age of Friends within the worship group is just under 26 years old. (Before Grace, it was 28.) The oldest Friends are 51 and 42; plus there are now 4 children under the age of 5. We are blessed...

UPDATE: On 28 Eighth Month 2005, the worship group warmly embraced the name Laughing Waters Friends Worship Group. We still are discerning if we are to affiliate with liberal Friends (Northern Yearly Meeting) or with Conservative Friends (Iowa Yearly Meeting Conservative).